I Won't Lose You Again
by Katie1995
Summary: A story about Carlisle and Esme starting from Esme's change. Rated T for stupid Charles...
1. Hell

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. ****All credit goes to ****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Hell.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Death is peaceful. I let the blackness consume me. No more hurt, no more pain. I'd be with my boy for eternity. Just me and him. I was numb, nothing could hurt me now. I welcomed it with open arms.

I didn't know what sort of commotion I would cause. I wondered if people would even recognise me, or if my mangled body was beyond identification. I heard them then. 2 voices blurred by the sea around me.

"She was a beautiful thing. Such a shame it ended this way. She had so much opportunity."

"How'd you know her?"

"She taught my little Timothy. You know, Ms Platt."

"Oh yes, I heard she was very good, a wonder with the children".

I felt a pull on both my arms. I was being lifted out the water. Suddenly a pain shot up my body sending spasms all over me. It hurt so much, but there was little I could do. I couldn't scream physically, but mentally I was being torn apart.

"What are we going to do with her Pete?

"She's already dead."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. There's no pulse"

"Let's just take her to the hospital. They'll take her from there." I wanted to scream! To do something. Show that I was _alive_!

I wanted it to be over. People told me death was peaceful. Short. They were wrong. I could feel every nerve in my body. The spasms of pain and no sign of release. Was God punishing me? He must be. I'd committed a sin, took my own life. This was the punishment he gave me. This punishment for failing my son, my family and myself. Hadn't he put me through enough? Was before just a practice run?

_Please just let me go. I beg for release. Just let me be with my Son so we can live in peace. Please? _My begging did me no good. I was still here. I felt the pain shoot up my spine. I was being moved again but now there were different voices. Unfamiliar voices.

"Thank you gentlemen. We'll take her from here."

"Thank you Doctor. Just one thing. Can you be gentle with her? She was a dear friend of my wife and an important person in my Son's life."

"Of course Matthew. Thank you again."

"God, Dr. Low, what happened?" I recognised that voice.

"It's believed she fell – well – jumped off that cliff looking over Lake Superior.

"Why?" It couldn't be.

"I'm not sure. All I know was that she was widowed, her Husband was killed in the great war and she was pregnant. I heard she lost the child not long after it was born."

"That's terrible." Maybe I was hallucinating, it couldn't be him. Not after so many years apart.

"Yes, it is, but there's nothing we can do for her. She's already gone, I was about to take her to the morgue , but now I think about it, could you do it instead? I have a patient I need to attend to, and it looks like your shift is about to end. Is it not?"

"Yes, of course, Dr. Low. I'll take her form here. Goodbye." I heard footsteps, and then I was moving. We came to an abrupt stop and I felt a gentle hand brush my cheek. Slowly I was fading, I was getting colder every minute but I didn't care.

"Why? You were so young. You could've moved on. Look at the opportunity you had. Oh, Esme. It's such a waste. How did it end this way? Esme..." It _was_ him. The doctor from so many years ago. My angel. Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

I suddenly found my voice.

"Dr. C-Cullen?" It hurt so much everything I did killed me but I wasn't going to waste this chance. To speak with my Angel one last time. I forced my eyelids open. He was there leaning over me, so close I could feel his icy breath on my face. His golden eyes looking deep into my soul. He stroked my cheek again.

"Esme?"

"C-Carlisle? I-I..."

"Shhhh" He kissed the top of my head and I was comforted, knowing he would be with me when I go. I felt a small smile on my lips.

"Thank you"

"For what?" I knew that was coming.

"Being here." My eyelids were drooping. I was losing consciousness but I knew he wouldn't go anywhere.

"Please, Esme, stay with me." I couldn't, not for much longer. I could hear the hurt in his voice and it hurt me too. I was surprised about that. The connection I felt.

"I'm sorry...Goodbye, Dr. Cullen..." It came out in a whisper. My eyes closed shut and I was fading. Finally.

"NO!" I won't let this happen!" He was angry, if I was still capable I would've flinched. Jumped a mile. "I won't let this happen to you. It's too much waste."

I don't know what he was talking about. He couldn't save me now, no-one could.

"I'll save you Esme. I can't lose you again. I'm so sorry this is the only way to save you. If there was another option, believe me I'd take it, but there isn't. I'm so, so sorry. You'll be in so much pain and you'll probably hate me. I'll never forgive myself. Believe me, I never forgot you Esme Anne Platt. Stay with me...please."

I his icy lips press down own my neck, like he was arguing with himself. Then I felt it. The sharpness cutting into my neck, my ankles and my wrists. What was he doing to me? There was a fire rising from deep inside of me. I felt his arms lock around my body and I was flying, so fast it wasn't possible. It wasn't natural. The fire was growing stronger every second and it burned.

I heard angry voices, shouting.

"What was the point Carlisle? She was dying anyway. Couldn't you of just let her go? Thousands of people die every day, she was just one more!"

"Edward I couldn't of just left her. If you knew... you don't understand."

You're right Carlisle I don't! I don't understand this...connection with her. She's human for crying out loud! You know how risky relationships are. How could you be so selfish?"

"You're right. I am selfish. I'm doing this for me."

Then it was silent. You could hear a pin drop. The fire burned brighter within my body. The pain I suffered before was nothing compared to this. I would take child birth over this, a thousand times over if I could. I would even take my husband's beatings over this.

"AGHHHH!" I couldn't hold the scream in any longer. I was burning. Everything was burning, my feet, my face, my legs. The flames licked, taunted my body. "Please just make it STOP! Kill me PLEASE! ANYTHING! Just make the pain STOP!" This was my punishment. I hadn't made it to heaven. God didn't forgive me. I committed a sin, took my own life. I did all of this to see my son. I gave up. I did all of this and I still failed. What did it take to end the suffering? Through all this pain I knew only two things. One: I would NEVER see my son again, and two: I was in Hell.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. Just a couple more hours and it'll stop. I promise. Please...I-I'm sorry" How could he be blaming himself for this? This was _my_ fault. I brought this down on myself, it wasn't his fault, not at all. I trusted him. Just a couple more hours and the pain will stop.

"AGHHHH!" Another wave of pain rolled through my body. They were getting stronger and stronger. Tears rolled down my cheeks and he brushed them away.

"Sorry." He made a broken sort of choked sound. _Please don't cry. I'm coping because you're here. Please, stay strong, for me. I need you. _Then it hit me. The realization that I couldn't be in hell. If he was here then I couldn't. A man as good and generous as him couldn't be in hell. He was an angel, not a monster.

"She knows your there." It was that voice again.

"She does?" Of course I did, didn't he know I could feel his hand in mine?

"Yes. She needs you to stay strong Carlisle. She's coping because you are. The pain's fading, just keep talking to her. She needs you right now." He was right the pain was fading, gradually, from my finger tips and toes. I could concentrate more easily, focus on Carlisle.

"Soon Carlisle. She's nearing the end." Suddenly the only sound that filled the room was the beating of my heart. The fire rushed towards the centre of my being. I didn't believe the fire could get any hotter, but I was wrong. It was like a furnace. My heart was battling with the poison that attacked my body. Ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom. My heart was slowing, spluttering. Ba-ba-boom ba-boom-ba ba-boom. My heart was losing. No, not just losing, it was _exploding! _The most important organ – my key to living – was being ripped from my body. It made one more sickening, spluttering jolt and then there was silence.

I opened my eyes to the God from my dreams. Carlisle. His eyes full of concern.

"Esme?"

**A/N – OK, This chapter didn't turn out as well as I had expected. Anyways, if you have time, please review. Thanks ****.**


	2. Uncertainty

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Uncertainty.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

"Esme?" Her blood red eyes stared at me curiously.

"Carlisle... how...how did you..."

"Save – find – her?" Edward finished it off.

_Thank you Edward. _I thought. He nodded in response.

The confusion was clear in her eyes and facial expressions. I just wanted to hold her. Tell her everything was going to be OK, but that was a lie. How could I break it to her? What she had become; that she was a monster. A vampire. She'll hate me.

"I-I should be...dead."

"Esme..."

"NO! I-I jumped off a cliff! I should be dead!"

"Esme, listen to me, I saved you. The only way I could. Please just let me explain."

"Am I in heaven?" Edward was trying to hold in a laugh. _Don't you dare! _He converted his face immediately.

"No."

"Then how?"

There's no easy way to explain this. You'll probably hate me for doing this to you and I'll never forgive myself, but it had to be done. Esme, I remembered you from the hospital in Columbus. The 16 year old girl who fell from a tree and broke her leg on a dare. The girl with caramel ringlets and sparkling green eyes. The girl who was so full of youth and opportunity. When I found you ,in the morgue you were broken. Your body was like a rag dolls. Nearly all your bones had been broken in one way or another and you were fading, dying. I couldn't let that happen. You had so much opportunity, so many chances. I couldn't just stand by and watch you die, so I saved you the only way I could.

"And what was that?" She propped up on her elbow.

"I changed you." She looks even more confused than before.

"What do you mean?" Now she was getting up to stand face to face with me.

"You're a vampire, Esme."

"A V-vampire?"

"She doesn't believe you Carlisle."

"You have to. Can't you feel the burning at the back of your throat?" She put her hand to her throat.

"It's just a little uncomfortable."

"That's your thirst."

"Carlisle NO! I won't, can't believe you. I won't go around killing innocent people. I'm NOT a vampire!"

"I'm sorry Esme, but it's the truth and I'm truly sorry for what I've done."

"I WANTED TO DIE! WHY COULDN'T YOU OF JUST LET ME GO! NO-ONE WOULD'VE CARED! I'M _WORTHLESS_ CARLISLE! I KILLED MY OWN SON! Harry..." Esme doubled over, dry sobbing. I looked at Edward for some answers but it looked like he was in pain. _Edward? _He ignored me.

"Esme, please."

"Don't Carlisle." He looked hauntingly dangerous. "STOP!" He blocked my path to Esme.

I looked at her sobbing and suddenly she started backing away. I don't know what we did to make her so scared.

"Please, don't hurt me." Edward growled in response and bolted out of the room. I put my arms up, palms facing forwards to show I didn't mean any harm. She responded by backing away even further until her whole back was on the wall. "Please..." She fell to the floor and held her knees to her chest, quivering from some unknown terror.

"Esme, I'm not going to harm you in anyway." I only got a choked sob in response. There was nothing I could do. Something had obviously affected her badly. But what? I made sure I wasn't being threatening. So what was it?

"Okay Esme. I won't come any further. If you need anything I'm just going to be downstairs and Edward's in his room.

I walked out her room and closed the doors to her painful sobs. Edward was violently bashing his keys on his piano. I hadn't heard this song before so it was probably one Edward had composed or just made up this very moment. His anger made him very unpredictable, and this is how he usually expressed it. Through music.

_Edward, can't you change to anything else? It's probably making Esme feel even worse. _In that moment he changed to Clair De Lune by Debussy. _Thank you. _

I heard the door to his bedroom click open and slowly he made his way downstairs.

"I'm going hunting. I'll probably be gone for the rest of tonight and maybe some time tomorrow morning." His eyes were pitch black.

"Of course."

"Esme is pretty torn up right now. Just give her time. Believe me Carlisle. She afraid and confused. Just give her time to come round." I nodded once. Edward was usually right. With that he ran out the door into twilight. The stars were shining brilliantly and the moon was incredibly low.

The hours past slowly. I was reading one of my many medical journals that I had read countless of times before. What was there you could do more than once to occupy a vampire? Nothing, really. Just stuff. I heard the door creak open ever so slightly and I heard the annoyed sigh from Esme. Well, there goes another door knob. Warily she walked down the stairs.

"Carlisle?"

"Over here." She stood to my right, next to the armchair by the sofa. Her eyes were cast down to the floor. It looked like she was waiting for permission. "Please." I gestured to the arm chair she was stood next to. She nervously she sat down and took an unnecessary breath to calm herself.

"Carlisle, about earlier. I'm sorry. It was completely irrational. I don't know what came over me.

"It's fine Esme, really. You're a newborn. Your emotions are all over the place at the moment. I mean it's not every day you're told you've become a vampire." She cracked a smile.

"About that. I don't want to kill innocent people Carlisle. People who have children, wives, husbands, lives of their own!"

"Esme, you won't be like that."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, me and Edward consider each other as vegetarians. You see, we only hunt animals. That's why are eyes are golden, it dilutes the colour. That's also why I'm a doctor." She gasped, almost like she had forgotten.

"How could I forget? The doctor with golden eyes." Her eyes looked as if they were trying to picture some half remembered memory. "Why can't I remember?" I didn't know whether to answer. If she was asking herself or me. "Why can't I remember?" She looked directly at me then.

"When we're...changed, you receive shall we say, enhanced senses. Your human senses aren't as sharp and as...flexible as ours. That's why your memories have faded. It's like trying to look through a puddle full of mud.

"But I-I remember him so clearly..." She trailed off as her body faced another wave of sobs. I didn't intrude, just placed my hand on top of hers but she flinched away from even the slightest contact. "I'm s-sorry."

"Like I said Esme. It will get easier."

"I believe you." Smiling at me she placed her hand to her throat.

"Ah, Esme. I think it's about time you try hunting." She looked at me shocked.

"Bu-but I don't know how."

"Don't worry, it'll all come naturally." With that, I stood up offered her my hand – which she took – and ran out the door into the forest with the most beautiful woman at my side. The unfamiliar feeling surged through my body like it did 10 years ago. Something I didn't recognise.

**A/N - If you have time PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review! Thanks. Katie1995.** :)


	3. First Hunt

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**First Hunt.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

"Don't worry, it'll come naturally" he said. I doubted him largely. Nothing came natural to me, not even looking after my own son.

"Esme, believe me. It will come as naturally as breathing." He gave me a slight smile. Though what he said didn't really make any sense, considering I didn't need to breathe anymore. "Are you ready to go?"

"O-okay?" That really sounded confident.

"Oh. Just one thing before we start. You're a newborn Esme, so you'll be able to run ten times faster than me.

"I will?"

"Yes. If you're not sure where I am or where you are, just find my scent. You'll catch it easily." I nodded in response. "Okay than let's go. Just let your senses take control." He smiled one more time, than ran so fast into the forest, that a human eye would've missed it in a blink. I wasn't sure if I could do this, but I followed suit.

I sprinted full force into the darkness in front of me. The trees rustled with mysterious whispers. The colours flashed passed me, brilliant jades, oranges, reds and yellows. I could hear the movement of every animal, the hum of the stream nearby. I expected everything to be blurred in a sea of autumn colours, but every leaf, every blade of grass was defined and sharpened. I could take in every detail. I felt the wind in my hair, smelt the scents of the forest mixed in with Carlisle's. I felt free. More free than I had ever been. Then it hit me.

"Carlisle?" I'd lost him, over taken him.

"Behind you." I turned around and there he was, in all his glory. I'd forgotten how to breathe. "Exhilarating isn't it?"

I felt a smile pull the corners of my mouth. "Yes, indeed."

"Now, about this hunting business." Oh no.

"Um..." He walked closer so we were face to face and placed his hand on my shoulders. This time I didn't shrink away.

"What do you hear?" I could hear everything. All the sounds were so separate but so distinct.

"Everything."

"Esme, listen harder. What can you hear?" I focused the best I could, zoning in on particular sounds, until one got my attention. It was the thumping of a heart. A large animal's heart. It made what felt like saliva pool in my mouth.

"That thumping. A heart?"

"Yes! Now, Esme, what can you smell?" Why was he doing this? I could smell everything here. What exactly did he want me to smell? I focussed in on the thumping again. There was a smell that went with it. A mouth watering smell. The smell of blood.

It controlled me. Without thinking I bolted off in the direction of that scent. My throat burned with anticipation. I needed to extinguish the fire, now! I saw all seven of them. The Elk stood around the lake, reviving themselves of thirst. The one thing I had to do. I leaped forwards, taking the largest one down and bit into its neck. Its blood pooled into my mouth and I drank greedily. After I drained the first, I took a second one down. The fire still raged at the back of my throat. I drained it quicker than the one before. Drinking quickly before the liquid went cold. I dropped the carcass at my feet and caught Carlisle's scent. I whipped around to see him perfectly clean. I examined myself. The night dress I had woken up in, was now covered in blood and ripped, to my embarrassment, in some very revealing places.

"How did you...?" If I could blush I would've looked like a tomato by now.

"Stay so clean?" He chuckled. "Centuries of practice, Esme. Don't worry, you'll get better at it."

"So... what can I wear?" I had nothing else but this flimsy nightgown, and that wouldn't be much use to me now.

"Ah... well I guess you can borrow one of Edward's shirts for now and also a pair of his trousers.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, he won't mind. He's a good lad." _Centuries of practice. _I couldn't get it out of my mind. How old was he?

"Thank you Carlisle. For taking me in I mean. I don't want to intrude..."

"Esme, dear, you're not intruding on anyone. Edward and I needed someone. We weren't sure who that someone would be, but now you're here, I think we both know it was you all along.

"Thank you." I felt like crying, never before had I felt like I had belonged somewhere. Like I had a place in this world. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"My pleasure, madam." He did a little bow and I had to laugh. How I'd survived all these years without him I'll never know. In a way I did, but those were just fading memories. Those precious view moments I replayed over and over again.

_**(*Flashback*)**_

"God damn Esme, where the hell is dinner?" Charles was home.

"Cha-Charles, I wasn't expecting you home so early." I heard his footsteps getting closer and closer. My heart was beating as fast as humming bird's wings.

"What did I tell you Esme? Huh? What are our three little rules?"

"I-I'm sorry Charles." He walked into the room stinking of liquor and smoke.

"You don't remember? Well then, it looks like I'll have to remind you. Rule one: You have dinner ready as soon as I get home. Yes?"

"Yes."

"Rule two: You only speak when spoken to. Yes?"

"Yes."

Finally. Rule three: You do what I say, no matter what I may ask of you, and you do it without complaint. Yes?

"Yes." He was right in my face now. The alcohol fumes coming off of him made me gag.

"So where the devil is dinner?"

"I-in the o-oven." His hand made contact with my cheek causing me to fall to the floor. I pushed myself backwards with my feet, towards the far wall.

"That wasn't the right answer, Esme." I felt him kick my side. I would have another broken rib tomorrow. Another doctor's appointment.

He crouched down to face me. Naturally I covered my cheek, expecting the slap that would usually follow.

"I go to work, pay the bills, and this is how you repay me? You can't even get dinner on the table in time. You're worthless, Esme. _Worthless._" Spitting in my face - adding insult to injury - he walked away.

The door opened and his footsteps faded into nothing. He was gone, for now. I let my tears fall freely. The salt stung the cut on my lip and I curled into a ball. Who cared about dinner now? Charles had probably passed out and it was burnt anyway, thanks to his daily beatings. I closed my eyes, to escape the setting. Just one image remained in my head. The one I fell asleep with. That image was Carlisle. The blonde doctor I had instantly fallen for. My escape.

_**(*End of Flashback*)**_

Esme? Carlisle pulled me from my hazy memory. Are you okay?

"Yes, I'm fine, but I think I need a change of clothes. How do we get back?"

"It's easy Esme; just follow your scent back to the house. You could do it with your eyes closed."

"Oh." I felt like an idiot.

"I expect Edward's still hunting, but you're free to borrow any of his or my books."

"Thank you".

"It's fine, really, now shall we get back?" He started running again, and I followed, too afraid to lose him again. He was really here; this wasn't a dream after all.

**A/N – (Please, review or give critique, it's appreciated!)**


	4. Reflection

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**** in this chapter, Edward's reflecting on what he saw in Esme's memories. The writing in **_**italics**_** is people's thoughts/flashback(s).**

**Reflection.**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

I ran as far from the house as it was safe for me to be. I couldn't take it in there. Esme's thought's were mixed up, confused...scared. She wasn't like me when she woke up, angry and hateful, but ecstatic and petrified, all at the same time. Ecstatic that Carlisle was with her again, and petrified that she should be subjected in front of two men, in a small room.

Her head contained a jumble of thoughts, of her baby; Harry I think, her husband and her failed suicide. It was the thoughts of Harry that triggered her reaction. I stared at her, listening to her thoughts.

_Harry. No...h-he's dead. Gone. I jumped to be with him, how did I fail again? Charles was correct about me. I couldn't do anything right. This is my fault, I-I killed him because I couldn't look after him. It's MY ENTIRE FAULT!_

She fell to her knees, crying tears she couldn't shed. Carlisle was looking for answers.

_Edward?_

I ignored him and kept concentrating on Esme. She was beginning to get hysterical. Without a warning an onslaught of memories hit her. Memories of her husband, her old life. The beatings she'd suffered at the hands of the person who was supposed to love her. Her baby and her last moments "alive".

"Esme please." Carlisle started moving forwards to comfort Esme. Esme seemed to forget where she was. Instead of seeing Carlisle, she saw her husband. Charles. Instead of being in our front room, she was at the bottom of her stairs, awaiting the assault she would suffer. Carlisle continued forwards. I couldn't bear it.

"Don't Carlisle." I hated how I would be looking now, a real vampire. The monster I refused to be. "STOP!" I yelled angrily, acting on instinct, but it made her worse. She was violently shaking, and out of all the half remembered memories, one stood out from the rest of them.

**(*Esme's memory: flashback*)**

"Where do you think you're going? Hey? STOP!" A tall man with jet black hair towered over Esme and grabbed her roughly by the wrists.

"I-I was going to get the shopping..."

"No you weren't. You're going to meet another man aren't you?" He shook her violently, trying to receive answers he wouldn't get.

"No. Charles, I would never be unfaithful to you." She tried to pull her wrists free, but he gripped tighter down making Esme cry out in pain. I growled involuntary as I saw what was replaying in my head.

"Don't lie to me Esme. You were going off to meet another man." He slapped her across the face, making her fall backwards into the wall.

"Ch-Charles, please. Believe me; I wasn't doing what you thought I was going to do. Please, just let me go. If you don't want me to go, I won't. Please." She had tears streaming down her cheeks. Her efforts to hide the pain she suffered weren't working.

"Oh, poor, poor, Esme. Am I hurting you?" He sneered, waiting for a response. All he got was another batch of tears from Esme. "Good. This will teach you a lesson." He slapped her again, harder this time, cutting her lip.

"Charles..." It came out in a whisper. Charles was obviously fed up at this point. He threw Esme to the floor, with a sickening thud.

"If there is only one thing you've learnt this evening, Esme, it is NEVER to question my judgement. You are my wife, and everything you used to own is now mine, including yourself. Your life is my life, I decide where and when you go, and you will obey me." He smiled slyly again. "Or otherwise, this is the punishment you face."

**(*End of Esme's memory/flashback*)**

I stormed up to my room, and sat at the piano. It didn't help. I was still wound up over what I'd just seen. How could anyone do that to Esme? She was innocent, pure. She had a sweet nature; she couldn't be nasty to anyone, not even her husband, Charles. Nothing could get the images out of my head. I was angry she had to suffer that. Only one thing could help release my temper. That one thing was running, hunting. I went down stairs and met Carlisle; he ran his fingers through his hair. I knew how worried he was. He needed comfort as well, so I gave it to him, the only way I could:

"Esme is pretty torn up right now. Just give her time. Believe me Carlisle. She's afraid and confused. Just give her time to come round." He nodded once in response, and I ran into the darkness.

I sat on the ruins of a once beautiful oak tree, trying to wrap my mind around what I just saw. Then I realised. I must have looked like Esme's husband from her past. I was taller than her. To stop Carlisle moving forwards, I put myself between them, meaning I must have towered over her like her husband had been. My raised voice didn't help the situation either. My actions caused her to panic. She thought I was him and well...

I hit the tree next to me out of sheer frustration. How could I of be so thoughtless? Then their scent caught me, and my mouth pooled with venom. I couldn't think of this now. I had to hunt. I ran as fast as I could, into the green world that awaited me. Following their scent and the beating of their hearts, I found them. My throat burned, desperate to be quenched. The monster took over, and I pounced on the biggest stag, draining its blood in less than a minute, enjoying the feeling of the warm liquid running down my throat. I killed three more, until I was completely satisfied.

The hunt did me good. I could think clearly again. My main priority now, was Esme. I walked home, savouring my surroundings. It was peaceful here, a strange sense of serenity washed over me. I got in earshot of the house and I heard Esme and Carlisle, discussing shirts.

"I don't know Carlisle. You're certainly sure Edward won't mind?" I laughed lightly to myself.

"Of course I don't!" I called back, knowing full well, that they would' heard me even if I'd whispered.

"Edward?" A tone of surprise shaded her voice.

"Yes, Esme, I'm back." I walked through the door into our living room, shirts decorated every inch of space. I see she already found a pair of nearly fitting trousers. I mean they weren't that long... "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself. Properly, I mean."

"Oh."

"Yes well, I'm Edward Anthony Cullen-Masen. It's very nice to meet you." I offered her my hand and she shook it, smiling.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Esme Anne Platt." I noticed how she used her maiden name, though it wasn't really that surprising.

"So, about this shirt business." Carlisle replayed their hunt. "Ah, I see. Your first hunt isn't easy." She chuckled embarrassed."

"Well, I'm not as skilled as Carlisle..."

"But you will get better, eventually." Esme smiled slightly.

"I believe you." Carlisle continued rummaging around.

"Here Carlisle, she can wear this one." I handed him the smallest shirt I owned. It was white with thin, black stripes, going vertically downwards.

"Thank you Son."

"It's fine, just as long as she's comfortable." I went to turn around, when Esme called me back.

"Edward."

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I mean you didn't need to do this."

"Don't worry about it Esme. You're part of my family now, what I have, I have to share." She whispered thank you again. I returned her smile and went up to my bedroom.

Finally Esme seemed settled in. I was happy that she was happy. It hurt me to see her despise herself so much. Sheets of music lay before me, begging to be played. I picked the first sheet up, viewing the notes on the sheet. Clair De Lune. No matter how many times I played it, I never tired of it. It reminded me of my childhood, when my Mother used to play it to me, or hum it while I lay in bed. Music was something I emerged myself in. The beauty of the piano, its ivory keys and the black gloss cover, surrounding its frame. The notes flowed faultlessly together, and my hands flew over the keys.

Although Esme didn't know it, she was loved already, both by me and Carlisle. In a way, she reminded me of my own Mother. If she was happy with the idea, maybe, in the future, she would take on that role. I know she'd fill a missing piece in my life, including Carlisle's. Finally, it looked like I fitted into a proper family. With two people who I knew, loved me dearly.

**A/N – ****Please, please, please review!**** (This chapter was the hardest chapter to write so far. I had a writer's block halfway through, so this chapter - I think - doesn't flow very well. Anyways, I hope you liked it. There's more on the way, if you have any Ideas, please tell me and remember: review!) ****Thanks Katie1995.**


	5. The Stranger In The Mirror

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**The stranger in the mirror.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

"So what do you think about your new outfit?" Carlisle twirled me around, viewing every aspect of my shirt and trousers.

"Well, it's not really "me," but I'll survive."

"I'm sure you will."

"Is there a mirror?" He stopped short.

"A mirror?"

"Yes."

"Well, um...there is, but are you sure about this?"

"What do you mean?" What was wrong?

"It's not you Esme; it's just, seeing yourself for the first time after the change, it's quite... how to put this? Shocking."

"Is it a bad thing?"

"No, no!" He dismissed the idea by a wave of his hand. "It's just, you probably won't recognise yourself." I couldn't look that different. I mean what could've changed about me?

"O-okay." He took my hand and led me upstairs, along the hall way, and in to a spare room. Antiques were covered is dust sheets, and grand water colour paintings covered the walls. One in particular caught my attention.

In this painting, Carlisle stood with three other figures. They wore grand clothes and they were stood on a balcony, in an elaborately decorated hall, looking down on people as they danced the night away. All three figures looked similar. They had pale white skin and piercing red eyes. The contrast between the red and white made them look sinister, evil. I felt a chill run up my spine and I shivered. I tried to look away, but nothing could tear me away from the three ghostly figures.

The first figure had dark brown, almost black shoulder length hair and milky red eyes. The expression he held was – well - bored. His eye's looked somewhat tired, worn. They held knowledge and wisdom, too old to fit his age, even though he looked like may be in his late 40's or early 50's.

The figure next to him, and the spear point of the three figures, stood a man with jet black hair. His eyes were also milky red, but not hard to miss. His expression was almost laughable. The complete opposite to his brother on the left. His skin was pale white, as if he'd covered himself in powder. The ivory of his skin only made his hair look darker. Though he came across as friendly, an eyrie sort of feeling invaded my body. Like he was hiding behind a facade. Whatever it was, it felt as though he couldn't be trusted.

The final figure was smaller than the two before him. Not only was he the shortest, but he had bright blonde hair. Similar to Carlisle's, but his was too yellow. Horrible in contrast with his skin, just making him look paler. His face held a serious expression and he stood with presence of importance. His eye's together with his skin and hair colour, stood out immediately. Unlike the one before him, he seemed dangerous, unpredictable. Another shiver ran up my spine.

I shifted my sight to Carlisle. He wasn't like the others. He stood out a mile, only one thing distinctly separating him from the other three vampires. His eyes. The y held a spark of youth with a mixture of knowledge. Balanced emotions of sadness and amusement. His orbs were a beautiful golden colour, so beautiful, he looked like a god. Like the God's from Greek mythology. So inhumanly wonderful, I found it hard to breath. If he only did this to me in paintings, how could I look at him properly in real life?

I reverted my attention to the plaque beneath the painting. It read:

Marcus, Aro and Caius Volturi.

The summer ball of 1845.

It didn't say who it was done by.

"Esme?" Oh yes, the mirror.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get carried away..."

"Really it's fine Esme. Anyway, about this mirror." He walked over to a tall thin object, covered in a dust sheet. "You're sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Positive." That was a lie, I scared to find out what I would see.

"Okay then." He pulled the dust sheet of and it silently fail to the floor.

In front of me, stood an amazingly attractive woman. She had caramel curls tumbling to her shoulders, shaping her heart shaped face. Her lips were full, red as a rose bud. Her mouth made a perfect "o" shape, and her eyebrows were perfectly shaped, defining her eyes, which were a rich crimson in colour. That's what disturbed me most.

Uncertain, I took a step forward. The woman stood before me, imitated my exact movements.

"I-is that me?" I lifted a hand to my face, and drew my index finger down my cheek. The woman copied me.

"Yes, that is most definitely you." Carlisle stood to my right.

"It c-can't be." What I just said was true. Without thinking, I rolled the left sleeve of my shirt to reveal my upper arm. My eyes searched, looking for the scar that I kept hidden away for so long. I found nothing. The scar that had been left by the red hot poker was gone. It vanished, but how? I searched again, sure I might have missed it, but who was I kidding? This scar was huge, covering most of my upper arm. I kept it hidden by wearing long sleeved dresses, even in summer. I couldn't let people see my arm. It was disfigured, ruined by the burn it had suffered. I searched and searched, but I couldn't see anything. My arm was perfectly fine. The burn was gone.

"How?" I whispered the word, too emotional to speak.

"What?"

"Where is everything?" He looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"My injuries." He didn't need to know what I really meant.

"From the cliff?"

"Yes."

"Esme, when we're changed, all our flaws in appearance are - let's say - fixed. Let me give you an example. When you...jumped, you had multiple breaks, internal bleeding and deep cuts all over your body.

"I..." I couldn't imagine what I must've looked like.

"Yes, well, when I bit you...It, I mean the venom, repaired anything wrong with you. The venom put your bones back in place, sealed your cuts shut, and stopped the internal bleeding. That's why the pain you must have endured would've been ten times worse than what I had to endure.

"I..." I looked at the woman again, her mouth was still agape. Slowly I reached for the collar of my shirt. I pulled it down so I could view my neck properly. I believed him, yes, but I had to be certain. The scars from my Husband's hands were gone as well. The day he nearly chocked me to death, the reminder wasn't there. Shakily I exhaled, not realising how long I'd been holding my breath.

The physical aspects of my past were erased, but the mental aspects still haunted me. I could hide my body, but I couldn't escape the flashbacks. Snippets of memories locked away, wanted to be forgotten. They continuously plagued me. Memories of _Him _and my son.

I turned my head away from the reflection in front of me. Disgusted and thrilled about my new body. Finally, my body was my own. I didn't need to "lend" it to anyone anymore. I was thrilled about that, but there would always a problem with my new body. I would always, no matter what, be disgusted with myself, for I was used and discarded. My body was perfection, yet it was a mask, used to cover the true horror which hid beneath. I _was _perfection. Everything about me was just right, my hair, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, even my curves, yet I was soiled. Ruined for eternity. I looked back at the woman behind the glass. Her eyes were the only thing that gave her away, and that was the truth she hid behind them.

**N/A – If you have time PLEASE review. It's very much appreciated. Anyways, hope you like it, there's more to come. **


	6. Discovery

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Discovery.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

I let the cover fall silently to the floor, and examined Esme's reaction. It wasn't what I was expecting to be honest with you. She didn't hiss or crouch into a defensive position like, Edward and I did when we first saw ourselves for the first time. Instead she stood there, completely awe stricken. Unsure with what she was seeing. I heard her catch her breath as she stepped forwards.

"I-is that me?" She looked lost.

"Yes, that is most definitely you." I stood behind her, waiting for a change in her behaviour, but again, she just stood and stared at her reflection.

"It c-can't be." I didn't know what was going around in her head. This just wasn't normal behaviour for a newborn vampire to have.

As if I wasn't in the room, she rolled her sleeve up to reveal her upper arm. Her face became a mask of shock once more. In shock of something I didn't understand. She stared at her arm in disbelief looking for something she couldn't find.

"How?" She whispered the word, but I heard it, crystal clear.

"What do you mean?" I was still confused with her reaction.

"My injuries." Oh, _oh._ How could I be so dumb?

"From the cliff?" I could act really stupid at times. This is just one example.

"Yes."

"Esme, when we're changed, all our flaws in appearance are - let's say - fixed. Let me give you an example. When you...jumped, you had multiple breaks, internal bleeding and deep cuts all over your body." She looked a mess. Esme was destroyed, yet here she was now, in all her beauty, shining like a star.

"I..." She didn't believe her own eyes or me for that matter. Slowly, but surely, she started to reach for the collar of her shirt, and pull it down. Like with her arm, she started searching for things – marks – she wouldn't find. I wanted to assure her, like I did every time she was upset or...confused. Make her feel safe at least, but I couldn't. She didn't have that trust.

Slowly I walked backwards, to give Esme space. She exhaled after a long while, and just stared. I could tell she was thinking about something. Her eyes were blank, remembering things she couldn't quite catch. It was then I recognised the band on her finger. Not just any old finger. Oh, no. The band was on her fourth finger of her left hand, golden and shining off the light of the lamp. My heart dropped. I'd just begun to realise how much I loved her. Now, my feelings wouldn't develop. The doctors at the hospital told me she'd lost her husband in the Great War. I didn't believe them. Her medical records had claimed she'd fallen pregnant in May 1920, the father was stated as Charles Evenson. She gave birth in February 1921. I knew from that moment on, he couldn't be dead. The dates didn't add up if was. Had she been lying? I didn't know, unless it was a mistake made by the hospital themselves. No, she wouldn't lie, I knew she wouldn't. It must have been the hospital. Then it dawned on me. Had I been so selfish as to take her away from her own husband? Her family? Her Mother and Father? Her friends? I felt even more selfish than I did when I changed Edward. When I changed him he had no-one, but Esme, she had relatives, people who still cared about her. I was trying to process the information in my head, so I politely excused myself and went to my office.

I sat down on the leather chair rubbing my temples. How did I miss it? Could she ever forgive me? I didn't know what to do. The unfamiliar emotion had been love. Love for the woman who I had met 10 years ago. Love for a woman who I had not seen again for 10 years. Esme Anne Platt. She had a husband, she wouldn't want or need me.

I changed my train of thought to my upcoming shift. It was a night shift. 6pm – 12am. In two hours I would be at the hospital, trying to save and treat as many people as I could, and Edward would be alone, with Esme. I wasn't sure if he could handle her, but I trusted him. He was a mind reader after all. Still, she was _much_ stronger than him, not to mention _faster._

I heard footsteps outside my door and a gentle knock.

"Come in." It wasn't who I expected it to be. Instead, Edward stepped in.

"Carlisle?" He'd heard my thoughts.

"Edward, please." He sat down in the chair opposite me. "What is it you need?" He smiled.

"It's not what I need Carlisle, It's you I'm here to see."

"And why would you want to see me?" He smiled again, almost embarrassed.

"Carlisle, what you think, may or may not be true." I was puzzled; he always managed to make little cryptic remarks, which never made any sense what so ever.

"You know?" I was almost annoyed with his talent. He was always one step ahead of me.

"I'm not saying yes or no, Esme will tell you in her own time. She's still adjusting. Let her open up when she's ready. Trust me Carlisle; opening up to a stranger – well – creator, it's not easy." I looked at my "son". He held more wisdom than any other "17" year old I knew. I nodded, a little more relieved than before. He smiled once more and went to go out the door. He stopped suddenly, turning round to face me.

"Just one more thing Carlisle, she does need you." He closed the door quietly behind him and walked up to his room. I felt a smile on the corners of my mouth. I would help her when she needed me, no matter what.

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Carlisle walked out the room. The woman in front of me still was gawking at herself. With a sigh, I bent down and picked up the dust sheet. That was enough for today; I just couldn't take it in. Carefully, I placed it back over the mirror covering my reflection along with it. Silently I walked out the room, successfully managing to open the door without breaking the handle off. I saw Edward outside Carlisle's office. He softly knocked and Carlisle called him in. I wasn't trying to intrude, but being a vampire, things like that can't be helped, so I listened.

"Come in."

"Carlisle?"

"Edward, please, what is it you need?" I heard Edward walk towards Carlisle.

"It's not what I need Carlisle, It's you I'm here to see."

"And why would you want to see me?"

"Carlisle, what you think, may or may not be true." What were they going on about?

"You know?"

"I'm not saying yes or no, Esme will tell you in her own time. She's still adjusting. Let her open up when she's ready. Trust me Carlisle; opening up to a stranger – well – creator, it's not easy." No! They were talking about me. I heard chair legs scraping the floor, and footsteps leading to the door. The door opened and I held my breath, but it stopped midway. Only Edward's voice filled the emptiness.

"Just one more thing Carlisle, she does need you." He turned around, and walked out. Coincidently walking into me.

I immediately lowered my eye line.

"Esme?"

"Oh, Edward, I was just looking for Carlisle. Do you know where he is?" I still didn't make eye contact.

"Yes of course, he's in his office, getting ready for work."

"Work?" It can out in a splutter.

"Yes, he's got a night shift tonight. 6pm – 12am, so it will just be you and me tonight. Is that okay?"

"Yes, its fine, he just didn't tell me, that's all."

"Okay." He smiled and walked on. I returned the gesture a second too late. With nothing else to do, I made my way to my room

The bed was a welcomed sight. I laid down, spread completely out, and closed my eyes. I didn't know what tonight would bring, but I would get to know Edward better. Something I was looking forwards to.

**A/N – Hope you like it. If you did, please leave a review. **

**I would just like to say thanks to those who have left me such kind reviews, and are sticking with me on this story. It means a lot to me, that you enjoy what I write, so a BIG THANKYOU to all of you!**

**Special Thanks to:**

**Just4me**

**Milene Lira**

**Hopelessromanticgurl**

**BerryEbilBunny**

**BELAVERA**

**Like I've said before, if you like it, please review, it's always appreciated! **

**Katie1995 **


	7. Promise

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**In this chapter Esme basically finds out Edward's a mind reader.**

**Promise.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

I watched Carlisle as he put his coat and scarf on. Everything he did was so elegant. I watched him collect his medical bag and his stethoscope. He was leaving for work; 6pm – 12am. I didn't know what to do without him. He was a friend, a dear friend, who supported me, and accepted me. I don't even know, if he knew leaving me without him, would leave me lost. The feelings I'd been denying myself, couldn't be ignored anymore; I loved Carlisle Cullen. Yes. I loved him. I loved him so much even, that when he walked out the door - bag in hand - a little piece of me went with him. This was my first time without him since he'd changed me. Only three days, and I'd already fallen head over heels for him. I felt like that sixteen year old girl again, daydreaming about something that couldn't possibly come true. He couldn't possibly love me. How could he? I was still married, technically, to...Charles. His name made me shiver. I was still married to that...monster. He wasn't here, but I still couldn't quite get away from him. If Carlisle ever found out about him – everything – I don't know what I'd do. How to explain to him why I lied. I just can't do it to him, not now, not ever. He can be saved from the hurt I'd cause him. Though, no matter what, I'd always stay with him. Even if he is a...friend, I'd stay with him forever.

"Esme, there you are." Edward came up behind me, making me jump.

"Edward." He smiled.

"So, what do you want to do?" What could I do? Everything I tried ended badly. I always managed to break something...

"Well what can I do?" He chuckled lightly, like he was enjoying some private joke.

"Well, we can go for a hunt. Your eyes are coal black."

"No. I'm fine. I'd rather stay home tonight, if that's okay with you." I was lying; the back of my throat felt as though I'd drank a cup of salt water. It was dry and aching, much to my annoyance.

"That's fine. It's just, well, there isn't that much to do."

"Well, that's alright with me. I'll just read. I'm halfway through _Wuthering Heights _at the moment any way." He interrupted me.

"Or, we could play chess."

"Yes, I would quite like that."

"Okay then, sit down at the table in the front room, and I'll go and find the chess set." He walked off, leaving me alone. Quickly and slightly impatiently, I made my way to the front room. The oak table was plain, and situated in the middle of the room. On the middle of the table, were lilacs in the sweetest little vase. I smiled; lilacs had always been my favourite type of flower. Their scent was like perfume and they were my favourite colour; purple. The walls though, weren't exactly to my liking. They were almost let's say Terracotta. Not nice at all. If it were my choice, I would've painted them pastel yellow or green. But they'd have to do for now.

Edward came in then, carrying a wooden box. Carefully he placed it on the table. Could he really trust me to play a game of chess without breaking anything?

"Come on then Esme. Let's play." He had a grin plastered on his face.

"Lets." Edward gestured to the chair opposite him, and I sat down. He unfolded the wooden box - which revealed itself to be a folded chest board – and emptied a little cloth bag of its contents. Inside were all the pieces we needed to play.

"Your pick, Black or white?"

"White, thank you." Nodding he passed me my pieces one by one.

"Right, I'll flip a coin and who ever guesses right, goes first. Okay?"

"Okay"

"What's your pick, Heads or tails?" I'd probably go for heads, I always did.

"Heads." We both said it at exactly the same time.

"Sorry, sometimes it's just so obvious with what people are going to go with." He chuckled again, at something I was totally oblivious to. What was so funny?

"Can we start?" His outbursts were starting to annoy me.

"Yes. Go ahead, it was heads after all." He was trying to hold in another laugh.

I moved my first pawn forward two spaces. I used to be quite good at chess when I was human. My father taught me how to play. I smiled softly at the memory.

"Your father taught you how to play?" What Edward just said took me by surprise.

"Yes, yes he did." How did he know? Maybe it was just a coincidence. He couldn't possibly know.

"What was he like, your Father?" I sat there for a minute, searching for any details I could give. The game on the other hand had stopped completely.

"My Father, he was..." I struggled how to find the words. "He was fun loving, caring, kind, patient, until..." I stopped. Those memories were childhood memories. When I married Charles he... he changed. Especially when I tried to tell him and Mother about the abuse. They wouldn't – no – couldn't believe such a thing. As long as their lives carried on in their own perfect bubble, nothing else mattered. I didn't even matter.

**(*Flashback*)**

"Esme, it's been so long. How are you my darling?" My father hugged me tightly, making me hiss slightly at the pain it caused.

"It's nice to see you to, Father." Luckily he or Charles didn't hear. "I've missed you and Mother dearly. Speaking of mother, where is she?"

"Your mother is in the kitchen, preparing tonight's meal. It's going to be delicious." He kissed me on the top of my head and went to greet Charles. For the first time, in a long time, I felt save in my own home.

I walked around my childhood home. The familiarity calmed me. Some of my most cherished memories happened here; Christmas', birthday's, parties. So many memories; the best one being when I fell out the tree in my back garden. Tom greenway had dared me to climb it - so being me - I did. You probably wouldn't call it a happy memory, but I do. That memory led on to the best event of my life; Meeting Dr. Carlisle Cullen. My Angel.

"Esme?" Mother was staring at me with a mixing bowl in her arms. Her hair was tied up, and she wearing her beloved apron.

"Mother." My smile grew wider. I hadn't seen her face for so long, nearly six months. I ran over and hugged her tightly; afraid this might be a dream. My mother. To have her in my arms again, to feel protected again, it felt wonderful.

"Esme, you're squashing me. I don't want to get flour over that beautiful dress of yours." I let go reluctantly.

"Sorry. Mother, you don't know how happy I am to see you again."

"Oh, Esme sweetie, I've waited all week for this evening, just to see my baby again." She kissed my cheek.

"How's married life treating you?" Why this question? I couldn't lie. No. Not to my mother, she raised me, taught me everything I needed to know. Everything, but how to avoid an abusive husband.

"Mother..." Just as I was about to confess, Charles walked in.

"Mrs. Platt." He gave her a little dip of his head. It made me sick to my stomach. How could he do that? His facade and charm fooled everyone, even my own family. Charles' charm won over my family's affections. The only part of Charles they didn't see was his nasty side. My family had never seen how alcohol affected him; he left that to me on our wedding night. I was so angry thinking about it, I didn't realise how hard I'd been gripping the side of the table.

"Esme, are you alright?" Mother ripped me out of a very real nightmare.

"Yes, I'm fine mother."

"Are you sure? It looks like you were trying to rip the counter from the wall." Charles shot me a warning glance.

"Really, I'm fine." I prised my fingers off the edge and held my hand tightly.

"Okay then. Go and find your Father for me will you? Dinner's nearly ready." I nodded and walked into the hall. I could feel Charles behind me, so I turned around.

"A little nervous are we?" His face held the sly smirk I knew very well. The smirk that was full of malice. I could only guess what he had in for me tonight.

"Charles, not now, I have to find my father." I started walking, when he grabbed my arm and whipped me around.

"What Esme? I thought you knew how to respect your husband. If I have to speak with you I will, and you will not ignore me. Will you?" The question was rhetorical. He only wished I would answer so he had a reason to hit me. I nodded my head in response.

"Good. Trust me though Esme, your behaviour tonight was disappointing. You won't be getting away with it." I turned away from his glare, and walked on. Only a single tear ran down my cheek, falling to the floor. I accidently walked into my father, he knew something was wrong.

"Darling, are you okay?" I looked up at him. His brow was screwed together in a frown.

"Everyone seems to be asking me the same question today. Seriously I'm perfectly okay." I put on my best fake smile. "Mother sent me to find you and tell you that dinner's ready."

"I'll be there in a tick. You go ahead and sit at the table. There's something I need to do."

"I'll see you there then." My nerves were getting the better of me. Seeing Charles at the table didn't help.

After everyone was around the table, dinner was finally served. Roast beef with boiled potatoes, cauliflower, carrots, roast potatoes, green beans, even Yorkshire puddings. Father was right, dinner was delicious. No one could beat my mother at Sunday roasts. I enjoyed it more than I should of. Charles wasn't exactly happy with me.

"Mother may I be excused?"

"Yes of course. Any reason why?"

"No, I think I might retire to the drawing room if that's alright with you."

"Go ahead; I'll meet you there after I've washed this lot up." Mother gestured to the dirty plates on the table. I changed my mind. I wouldn't tell my mother in a minute, I'd tell her now. Charles would probably have a smoke with my father. The plan was working better than I had wished for. When I was certain Charles was in my father's study and completely occupied, I followed my mother into the kitchen.

"Mother, can I talk to you, in private?"

"Yes Esme, what is it?" I gulped, my stomach was doing flips. Would she believe me?

"Mother...about my married life."

"What about it?" It was really happening, I was confessing.

"Mother, Charles...Charles abuses me." There, I'd said it. She just looked at me, almost disapprovingly. Her tome was no better.

"Esme, how can you say a thing like that? Charles is you husband, you made vows in the house of God to love each other until death do you part. Now, I don't want to hear that come out of your mouth ever again." I felt moisture building up in my eyes. She didn't believe me. "Charles pays the bills and brings money into the house. You will not speak ill of him."

"Mother! He hits me! Look!" I rolled my sleeves up to reveal the purple bruises covering my arm. The fingerprints that were a daily reminder of who I was married to.

"No! Esme I won't believe it." My father suddenly entered the room; my sleeves were still rolled up.

"What's going on?" He took one look at my arm.

"Esme..." The first of many tears fell.

"Father, please, you have to believe me."

"Listen to me Esme. When you committed to this marriage, it was not only for the good of you, but of the good of this family as well."

"Wh-what?" I could barely speak.

"A husband is in his rights to punish his wife if need be." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"But I haven't done anything wrong!" Tears started to run freely.

"I'm sorry Esme, but you can't leave him. You would shame the family name if you did."

"So I'm not supposed to do anything? I'm just supposed to take it, even when he beats me unconscious. I have to sit back and let him do it until one day, he beats me so hard he kills me?"

"What will be will be." I ran out the room and out the door into the street. I fell to my knees, the rain pelting down. Charles followed me out.

"Home now!" He grabbed me roughly by my arms and hailed down a carriage. I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore. This was my life, it couldn't be reversed.

**(*End of Flashback*)**

I heard Edward growl, making me jump.

"He did that!"

"What?"

"Your Father, you confided in him and he treated you like dirt!"

"Edward?" How was he doing this?

"You told your parents about Charles and all they did was choose to ignore your pleas."

"How do you know this Edward? No-one knows. I haven't told anyone, how do you know?" I backed away from him.

"Carlisle hasn't told you?"

"Told me what?"

"Esme, I'm a mind reader."

"You're a what?"

"Esme, when we're changed, some of us receive special powers. Mine meant I was able to read people's minds.

"You..." He knew everything. Everything from Charles to my Son, Harry.

"Esme listen..."

"No. You know _EVERYTHING!_ About Charles, Harry, my life! You've seen him beat me to a pulp until I lay unconscious. You've heard every secret I've ever kept."

"Esme I'm sorry. Trust me, if there was a way I could block out people's thoughts, I'd do it. I can't help what I see or hear Esme. I don't mean to intrude, and I'm truly sorry for you loss and past. But Esme, you're in a better place now." I looked at him, enraged that I had no privacy, but devastated he knew what had happened with...Charles.

"You...you haven't told Carlisle have you? If he did I don't know what I'd do. I was ashamed that he already knew. I couldn't let Carlisle find out.

"No. What I see or hears stays in my head. I won't betray your trust Esme."

"Promise you won't say anything?"

"Promise." His eyes were full of apology. "But your past won't stay hidden forever. Carlisle loves you Esme. You need to know that."

"He does?"

"Yes. But to love him back Esme, you need to confront your demons first. You need him just as much as he needs you. He's been alone too long, and so have you." I smiled.

"He needs me?"

"Yes." My angel needed me, and I needed him. This wasn't hell; this was my second chance at life.

**A/N – Sorry this chapter is so long, but I had to get Carlisle and Esme's relationship started...**

**Anyways, if you liked it, please, REVIEW!**

**Thanks Katie1995 **


	8. Confessions

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Confessions.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

My shift lasted longer than it was supposed to. Dr. Low had a surgery going on when he fell ill, and I had to replace him. It was a close call. Dr. Low's patient had lost a lot of blood and he was fading - fast. Luckily we were able to stop the bleeding, but not without him flat-lining first. Like I said it was a close call. We – the nurses and I – are lucky he pulled through. It was a miracle really. My last shift at this hospital was my longest shift. In two weeks I'd be moving to Alaska to stay with the Denali coven for a while. There I'd get to introduce Esme to Tanya, Carmen and Irina. I'm sure they would bond almost immediately; Tanya always likes making new friends.

It was almost 2:00am when I got home. Edward was in the living room reading much to my surprise, and Esme was upstairs sketching. Luckily she hadn't broken the sketch pad or pencil - yet. I was about to retire to my study when Edward stopped me.

"Carlisle!" He got up and came towards me.

"Edward." I smiled warmly and clapped him on his back.

"What took you so long?" I replayed it in my head. "Oh, I see. I don't know how you can stand it. So much...blood."

"Yes, but that's where my centuries of resisting come in handy." I smiled, almost sarcastically.

"Of course."

"And yourself, how was Esme?" He stood like a statue for fifteen seconds –far too long for a vampire – and tried to sum up tonight's events.

"Well, I was going to take Esme hunting, but she didn't want to go. She told me she wasn't thirsty."

"What?"

"I know. Only three days old and she refused to hunt. Anyway, that's beside the point. We were going to play a game of chess, which of course, would end up with me winning. So I got the chess board and we started to play, but someone – Carlisle - forgot to tell her about my... gift."

"And, what happened?" He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well, I caught Esme of guard, she was thinking of her Father, and how he taught her how to play chess. I asked her about him, thinking she knew my power, and she started describing him. About halfway through, she started to trail off, and only one memory remained in her mind."

"Is this a good or bad thing?" His eyes betrayed his answer. No, it wasn't.

"I'm not going to say yes or no Carlisle. There are some things about Esme you don't know. Some things that will hurt you to know, but Esme needs you Carlisle. That's all I'm saying." In a flash he was gone, upstairs in his room.

I took my coat and scarf on and dropped my medical bag with a little _thump _on the floor, next to the door. Esme was still in her room so I made my way up the stairs. About halfway up the stairs, I heard sobs coming from her room.

"H-Harry..." It broke my heart. She'd never see her son again. He was only three days old when he died. It must've broken Esme's heart. "I-I'm s-so s-sorry." I wanted to break the door down and gather her in my arms, but I couldn't invade her privacy. Losing a son must be hard. It was then I realised, I would never really understand Esme's pain. As much as it hurt me, I would never really understand it, and it made me hurt to know that Esme had to go through this alone.

I just stood there. What Edward said, made me want to scoop Esme into my arms and never let her go. She needed me.

I walked gingerly to her bedroom door, knocking three times. "Esme?"

"C-Carlisle?" Her sobs were subsiding.

"Esme, may I come in?" I heard her hair brush against the pillows on her bed. "Please."

"Yes." She whispered, broken.

I walked into find her spread out on her bed, face down. Her head was buried into her pillows, and her ringlets were sprawled around them. I stood by the door, not wanting to cause her anymore distress than she was already in.

"Esme, are you alright." She shook her head. _What a stupid question. Of course she isn't. _Seriously I could act really dumb sometimes. Yet I couldn't help it. Whenever I was around her, her scent, her face, everything about her stopped me in my tracks. I could never find my voice when she was with me, and when I did, I said stupid things like that. "Do you want to talk?" I wasn't expecting an answer, but I got one.

"Yes." Slowly she pushed herself up so she was in a sitting position, on the edge of the bed.

"Can I sit down?" I was scared that the woman in front of me would break. How fragile she seemed...

Again she just nodded her head, her hand finger coming up to brush away invisible tears. I made my way over...cautiously, and took my place beside her.

"You know you never told me Dr."

"Told you what Mrs. Platt?"

"That your son was a mind reader." _Seriously, how forgetful was I? _

"Well about that..." I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. "Yes, he is a mind reader. I thought you knew."

"Well Edward thought I knew as well. I have to admit, it came as quite a shock"

"Sorry. Sometimes things just slip my mind."

"It's alright; I guess I just didn't want to find out in such a personal way." She went to brush a rogue ringlet behind her ear, and I saw her wedding band again.

"Esme, can I ask you a question?" I heard her sigh. It took a long while before she replied.

"Of course."

"Are...are you married?" It was awkward, but I saw her head shoot up. She stared at me for what seemed like forever, before hanging her head.

"Yes...technically. But...it's, it's not what you think it is."

"Esme?"

"Yes."

"Did you lie to me?" She put her head in her hands.

"Carlisle please...it's complicated. I'd rather not talk about it." I looked at the beautiful creature break down in front of me. "I...I had to. You don't understand. I-I never wanted it to happen, fate destroyed me!" I grabbed one of her delicate hands.

"Help me to understand."

"C-Carlisle, I n-never w-wanted you t-to f-find out l-like this." Her whole body was shaking so I drew her body closer to mine.

"Whatever it is Esme, I promise you, you will always have me."

"Please, don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you. I know it's disgusting and repulsive, but please. Don't turn me away." I squeezed her in encouragement. Never would I leave her side again. She breathed in deeply to calm herself, and then she began.

"To begin with Carlisle, you have to understand I never got over you." I squeezed her hand again. "After you had left Columbus, I was devastated. My Father had arranged me to marry...Charles Evenson." She spat the name.

"An arranged marriage?"

"Yes. I never got a say in it. My Father was one of those men who always got their own way. I on the other hand rebelled against him. He was not at all happy with his daughter's feistiness. It was set in stone, but I refused to believe it.

"Look Esme, if you don't want to carry on that's fine. I don't want to cause you anymore pain."

"No. I have to. For me and for you."

"Okay."

"The girl inside of me refused to believe it. I was young Carlisle; marriage was something I hadn't considered. The thought of marrying someone I hardly knew made me...angry, especially towards my father." I rubbed her arm, and she flinched, like she always did when someone touched her. It was the same reaction every time. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm here for you. I promise I'll listen. I'm not one to judge Esme." Her eyes found mine. The connection was spell-binding.

Taking an unnecessary breath she continued. "When I turned seventeen, I told my parents I wanted to become a teacher and move west, but they were immediately against the idea. My father told me it was a dangerous area for a young woman like myself to be in. My mother on the other hand she let it slip about the marriage to Charles Evenson. Her excuse being that most of my friends were already married and I'd be lucky to find someone eligible for marriage if I left it any longer. I hated them both at the time. I didn't want to be like my mother you see." She looked up at me.

"I see."

"Her own parents had arranged her marriage to my father. They married for the good of their families. At first my parents didn't love each other; they stayed as far away as possible from each other, and only spoke when spoken too. They told me that after I came into the picture, they worked hard to solve their differences, and gradually they began to love one another." I gave her hand another squeeze. "Their story gave me false hope that when I did – If I did – marry Charles, I'd grow to love him. Like always, I was wrong." She stopped suddenly and her face, if possible, went even paler.

"Esme, listen to me. You don't have to do this. If you want, I can ask Edward."

"No. I made him promise me he wouldn't tell you. I have to do this myself." I sighed. "The marriage was arranged for the eighteenth of February, just three days after my 22nd birthday. I was nervous, anxious, hateful, but somewhat optimistic. My friends were already married, some with children of their own, and they encouraged me. Telling me everything would work out somehow. I believed them; after all, they were the ones with firsthand experience. The wedding, I remember perfectly. Her eyes were distant. "I sat there, in my room, looking at the woman in the mirror. Her eyes were emeralds, glistening with tears she couldn't shed. My mother had helped pick the dress. It was a simple number, nothing fancy. It was ivory in colour, with a cream ribbon for empire line. The top was tight fit, but the bottom flowed freely. The dress its self was stunning." I could only imagine what she would've looked like. "The dress made me feel well...insignificant. I know, it sounds stupid doesn't it." A ghost of a smile touched her lips.

"No, not at all"

"Well, I sat there, in front of the vanity mirror, and I thought about running. Running away and never coming back, but that was just a fantasy. My life was being changed for the good, or so it was supposed to be." Her hand clenched around mine, and her breath hitched in her throat. "I-I knew something was wrong. I couldn't stop the feeling that I was making a huge mistake, and it unnerved me."

"Esme..."

"No, Carlisle, please." I nodded.

"My Mother did my hair, and I hate to sound self absorbed, but I looked amazing. My hair was pinned in curls at the nape of my neck, and the colour of the dress brought out the beauty of my eyes.

"I can only imagine what you looked like." She smiled in return.

"After everything was ready, my Father drove my Mother and me to the church. My stomach was doing flips, and I felt physically sick, but I was doing this for them, for me. Everyone I knew was there; Cousins, Aunts, Nieces, Uncles, Nephews, Grandparents, friends. I only had two bridesmaids, my best friends; Margret, and her sister, Anna. Only they knew the reluctance I had for my marriage." Her grip became tighter, and I could tell this wasn't going to end at all well. "I don't remember much about the service. I was in my happy place, with you, so I didn't need to come to terms with what was happening. I remember seeing _him_ though. He had a smirk plastered on his face, and his eyes held something I didn't understand at the time. It was only when I placed the ring on his finger I realised how big a mistake this marriage was. I now belonged to him. This...stranger could do anything he wanted with me. My body would no longer be only mine, but his as well." I growled at what she just told me. "Carlisle?"

"Sorry. I just...overreact?" Nodding once she carried on, her breathing got slower, and her hand became impossibly tighter.

"The wedding night was..." This was really hard for her.

"The wedding night was painfully hard to get through. I was humiliated, mortified to be in front of this stranger I'd only known for a couple of hours. He made me do things I can't repeat, but I'd learnt that if I refused, he's force himself on me." I heard a sob break the gloom. How dare he! How dare he treat her like that. I felt my anger rising, the protective growls escaped my chest. Esme didn't deserve this.

"You don't have to go on."

"Carlisle you have to know why I lied to you." Her body still shook.

"I remember waking up after our first night together. I was painfully sore all over, and I could barely walk, let alone make breakfast." She sighed again. "Carlisle, please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you. You're the only person who kept me going through everything he did."

"Esme, I would never hate you. I understand how difficult this is. You've got me now; nothing's going to change that."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I squeezed her hand and she carried on.

"The first few weeks were fine. I fell for his charm. Before he went to work, he would kiss me. When he came home he kissed me. He was so affectionate, that I thought our wedding night had been a mistake. He didn't mean it. How wrong I was Carlisle." I felt the anger get stronger and stronger, the wall would have a hole through it soon enough. "One night he came home late, drunk. I'd never seen him like that. He'd missed dinner. I didn't know what he would do, but when he did something, it came as quite a shock. I remember he sauntered towards me, demanding why dinner wasn't on the table. I told him straight, telling him it'd been made ages ago. I didn't know it would make him so angry. He stood right up in my face and slapped me." The sobs she's been trying hard to hold back claimed her. I swear to God, if I had the chance to kill this man I would.

"He abused you?" The pieces fit perfectly together. Why she flinched when I touched her, why she jumped when loud noises would occur, why she kept her eye line down, they all seemed to come together in perfect clarity. How could I have missed it?

"Not all the time. I guess it was my fault."

"What do you mean? None of that was your fault! It was that...that Bastard!"

"Carlisle, if I didn't fight him he wouldn't of beat me so hard."

"Esme..."

"Please Carlisle, let me finish..." I nodded and squeezed her hand. "Every night was the same after that. He would walk through our door at 2:00am every morning, blind drunk and smelling of tobacco. He'd get his regular fix with me, whether I wanted it or not, and he enforced three rules I had to abide to..." How sick was he? "One: I had dinner ready as soon as he got home. Two: I only spoke when spoken to, and three: I did what he said, no matter what he asked of me, and I did it without complaint. If I didn't do this, I was beaten up. It got to the point where I distanced myself from everyone I loved, even my family. I had bruises everywhere, except my face. You see, he was very careful, it was only when I "fell" down the stairs, I wasn't allowed out." I'd lost it. The wall next to me had the shape of my fist through it. Dust was everywhere, but I didn't care. How could he do that to her? It was only when her hand cupped my cheek, I gained some control.

"Carlisle, look at me. I turned to face her ruby eyes, full of concern. This is in the past. I need you to stay calm."

"But Esme, what he did to you... I mean, did you even get any help?" She shook her head.

"I-I tried." Her body once again shook with sobs. "I-I t-told my p-parents and th-they disowned m-me."

"What?"

"My Mother t-told me I wasn't b-being a g-good wife and my F-father told me I had to be p-punished if I d-did something to anger him. I went to them for help and they told me I was the problem!" I shared her anger. Her own parents and they ignored her!

"How could they?"

"It wasn't a huge surprise. They'd been brought up in the old ways. I wasn't expecting that much support, but it still stung. I was stuck in my own personal nightmare, and there was no way out."

"I'm sorry." She looked at me and smiled.

"There's no need to be sorry Carlisle. It wasn't your fault. Anyway, I nearly escaped the hell hole when Charles was deployed."

"He was deployed..."

"Yes. The night he got the telegram was the worst night of my life. I was sewing when he came in and grabbed me by the shoulders. I didn't know what made him so angry, but he slapped. I fell to the floor, and curled into a ball. I knew what was coming next, or so I thought I did."

"You can stop."

"I know, but I don't want to. I need you to know this." I wish she's just save herself the pain. "I was curled up on the floor, so I tuned out. I remember him shouting and kicking me and then he went over the line. He...he... I remember his body over mine, and the pain that went with it."

"He r-raped you?" I choked the word. She just nodded. "Esme you should of gone to the police."

"There was no point. They wouldn't believe me anyway, I'm a woman. Charles knew a lot of people, I would've looked like a liar."

"No you wouldn't."

"Yes, Carlisle, I would. Only one thing kept me going after that night. The hope he was killed in action. Sick I know, but I hated him so much."

"That's not sick, it's...reasonable."

"Well even if it is, my hope was short lived. Every day I looked at the growing list to see if he was dead. I searched for your name as well. Scared that you might be gone, but you were never there, and neither was he." She hung her head in shame. "He lived. He went to hell and managed to make it back, alive. I went back to tiptoeing around my own house, afraid to make the wrong move. The war didn't help either. Oh, no. It made him worse. Not only were the beatings harder, they were more frequent too, along with the...raping." Edward was right. I didn't want to hear this.

"I swear to God, I will find this Charles Evenson and kill him."

"No you won't. He's a monster, you Carlisle, are not. You won't sink down to his level, he's not worth it." I inhaled deeply, trying to attain some order.

"You're right."

"Anyway, he managed to do one thing right. He managed to give me a child."

"What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"A baby. That's what gave me the strength to run." Oh... "When he went to work one day, I packed my bags and took my chance. I went to the train station and brought a one way ticket to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My cousin second removed lived there, and she was the only relative I had left. The only relative that would look after me."

"What happened?"

"She let slip I was living with her. Not to Charles, but to my parents."

"Purposely?"

"No. She didn't realise my parents already knew. She came to me crying, and I couldn't blame her. After all, it wasn't her fault my life had turned out like it did."

"They found you?"

"Nearly, but I was on the first train to Ashland, Oregon by the time they turned up. By then I was five months pregnant."

"It must've difficult."

"It was sometimes, but I managed. I found a job as a school teacher, and my life was perfect. I was living a lie though. I told everyone my Husband had died due to complications from a war wound. It got infected; he developed septicaemia and unfortunately died, leaving his wife pregnant and widowed. The story worked, and I was finally living my life. Free, and away from fear. Oh, Carlisle, you don't know how happy I was. It was pure bliss until..." She made what sounded like a choked sob. "Until..." She finally lost it. Carefully I wrapped my other arm around Esme, and let her sob into my chest. I rocked her back and forth until her breathing evened out.

"Do you want to stop?"

"I'm nearly finished." Again, she went to wipe away tears that wouldn't fall. "My son came unexpectedly early. I was only eight months gone when I felt the first contractions." I squeezed her hand at what seemed the millionth time, but there was nothing else I could do. "It was hard. My house keeper Mary, helped me through the birth, she took me to the hospital, and stayed with me until my son was born." A sob broke from her chest. "When the nurse gave me my son, I felt so much pride, so much joy, that this tiny being was actually mine. That he was safe. I finally felt I had a place in this world. But fate destroyed me once again. That night he developed a cough. It made his body jerk violently, and there was nothing I could do, when the doctor checked on us the next morning, my world collapsed around me. My baby was dying, and there was nothing I could do about it!" I pulled her in even closer, the space between us was now gone. When she spoke again it was a monotone. "I stayed with him, telling him about you, the world and myself. His blue eyes stared into my soul, and his miniature fingers curled around my own. His breathing slowed, and he died in my arms." The pain that shot through my body when she said that was unbearable. He wasn't even my child, but I felt as though I'd lost part of me.

"I am so sorry. For you go through that all by yourself."

"I couldn't take it Carlisle. The one person I lived for was dead. I wasn't allowed to be discharged, but I did it anyway. Just got up and left. I didn't know where I was going until I was on the cliff. I guess my sub conscious led me there. I looked over the edge, and I felt some sort of release. I couldn't go on living a life I didn't have, and the cliff looked so appealing. So I jumped to get away from everything, to see my son, and to live in peace. It didn't work though did it?"

"No." I hung my head. She wanted to die.

"No, it didn't. But if it had, I wouldn't be here with you now. Carlisle, don't hate me for lying. I just couldn't tell you the truth. No-one ever believed me so why should you?"

"Because Esme Ann Platt, I love you."

"Y-you what?"

"I. Love. You." I cupped her face in my hands. Our mouths were nearly touching.

"I'm broken."

"No you're not Esme. You're the strongest person I know, and I love you." Her crimson eyes looked quizzically at me. With one short movement, I closed the gap between us, and our lips melted together. Finally we'd found each other. This time I would not let her go.

**A/N – Sorry this chapter is so long! I just feel as though Esme has a lot of emotion she needs to get out. Anyways, for those who were waiting for the beginning of their relationship, here it is! I hope I did a good job in portraying their characters in this chapter...**

**If you liked it please review! Thanks Katie1995 **


	9. Caught

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Caught**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

He kissed me. His lips were like velvet against mine, so right, but so wrong. The sensation was...electrifying. I pulled away - too soon - to get my breath back. Silly I know, but it was a habit. He looked at me; his golden orbs were all I could see. It couldn't be like this.

"So now you know." I hung my head, ashamed of what I'd just told him.

"Esme." He lifted my chin up to meet his face. "Don't be ashamed of yourself."

"But Carlisle, all those things he did to me. How can you...I mean..." I could feel my throat getting tight again. I wouldn't start sobbing again.

"The things he did to you were wrong on so many levels, Esme. You didn't deserve to be treated like you were. The things you went through, I could kill him for, but it wasn't, I'll repeat, _wasn't_ your fault." I saw his face; his eyes were full of fury for my husband.

"I'm still married though, aren't I."

"Um...yes."

"See Carlisle. You and me, it won't work, not when I'm still tied to...him." His expression changed from fury towards my husband, to thoughtfulness. "What are you thinking?" He rubbed his temples and gave me a slight smile. "Carlisle?"

"You said you're still married to him."

"Yes..."

"But Esme, don't you see..."

"Huh?" I was getting more confused each minute.

"You jumped off the cliff looking over Lake Superior. The people that found you, brought you to the hospital, and you were announced dead." I was slowly catching on.

"So..."

"So that means, technically, you're somewhat not married to him anymore."

"What?"

"I guess the hospital has reported your death in the papers, considering you were reported as missing, and while at work, I overheard two of my fellow colleagues talking about your death." I was mortified, what they must have thought of me.

"And?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"And they were discussing two people, I think related to you." Our eyes locked.

"Who?"

"Someone called Emily Platt, and the other one was..."

"Charles." It came out in a whisper. He'd found me, just like he'd promised, along with my Mother.

"Yes."

"Why?" My hand gripped my bed cover so tight, a small hole was beginning to appear.

"Your body was never recovered."

"But it was. I was in the mortuary, you were there."

"I know I was, but I took you home with me. You went through the change in my – our – living room."

"So what happened to the reports? Surely someone must have realised if a body had gone missing."

"I may have tampered with them ever so slightly. After all, only me, two locals, and Dr. Low know your body came into the mortuary, so I changed them."

"How?" He looked at me, almost hesitantly. I signalled for him to go on.

"I reported that your body was never found. No-one would notice, and Dr. Low had two days off after you had come into the hospital."

"This works because..."

"This works, because in the two days he had off, would have been enough time to bury your body. Which also means he wouldn't realise the records had been changed."

"Oh..." The puzzle pieces were starting to come together.

"So he thinks I've been buried."

"Yes."

I struggled with what I was about to say. "And my...son along with me.

"No." I gasped. I could feel the stinging sensation behind my eyes again.

"W-what?"

"Esme, your son hasn't been buried yet."

"But, it's been three days!" I was shouting. He needed to rest in peace.

"The hospital was waiting for you to come back. Naturally, they didn't expect you to commit suicide." He looked at me, probably assessing my stability. "Your husband" – he growled the word - "came to the hospital yesterday with your mother. He was asking around for you." He stopped short.

"Carlisle what happened?" I was in hysterics.

"The doctor who delivered your baby had told him and your mother what had happened."

"No..."

"He told him about the baby and you."

"Not this..."

"Esme, I heard the church was holding a memorable service for you tomorrow. Your son will be buried then." His hand found mine.

"I-I have to go."

"Esme, you're a newborn. If you go, you might end up killing everyone. Edward and I may not be able to restrain you." I looked at him. I was a monster, yes, but I deserved to say goodbye at least. "Your husband will be there as well."

"Carlisle, please, he was my baby!"

"I know he was, but you're only three days old in this life."

"No-one's going to be there. Not for me." I could feel the stinging behind my eyes getting more pronounced each second.

"You know your Husband was the one who arranged this ceremony, along with your mother." I almost choked.

"No. Not after what he did. Oh, god, the rumours he must be spreading. I've lied to so many people Carlisle."

"You were a respected person in this town's society, especially with the children." My lips twitched slightly.

"Okay, say I would want to kill everyone there, that might not be a possibility." He stared at me, his eyes confused.

"Esme..."

"Carlisle, I don't want to kill anyone. If I stay as far away as possible, there's less chance of that happening." He was still staring at me. His brow pulled together in a frown. "I mean, you and Edward will be there to restrain me."

"But Esme, can't you see, that might not be enough." My eyes were pleading, and so were his.

"F-fine" He rubbed my arm, and I held his hand. "It's just; it's my fault this happened."

"What?"

"If I never ran away, he would probably still be here." The guilt was eating me up.

"Esme, even if you stayed with..._him_, I doubt the baby would have survived. It was a cruel twist of fate that he was taken away from you. If you were still with _him, _your baby would've still had the chance of developing a lung infection. It was God's doing. He needed an angel, and he chose your baby to be exactly that."

"Do you think he blames me?"

"Who?"

"Harry."

"No, of course not. I think he's looking down on you now from heaven above and thanking you for being the best mother in the world. He loves you as much as you love him, and he will never stop loving you, nor will you stop loving him. He may not be here physically, but he'll always be in your heart. Never forget that." He cupped a hand around my cheek, and I leaned into it. I needed him, not just now but forever.

"Carlisle, I know I can't go tomorrow, and as much as that pains me, I understand why, but..."

"But?"

"But, I was thinking, could I go tomorrow night, just to lay some flowers on his grave. To say good bye properly." He looked thoughtful.

"That's a...possibility." I placed my hands on his chest.

"Carlisle?"

"You could go tomorrow night. They'll be no-one around, and the temptation wouldn't be there."

"Really?" Somehow I didn't believe him, but I had to build my trust back up.

"Yes, as long as me and Edward are there. Just for precaution. You don't know what could happen."

I looked up at him. My eyes were black, in his golden orbs. I had to hunt, but I didn't want to ruin this moment. Carlisle had his arms around me, and my head was rested on his shoulder. I was at ease, listening to his breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall, and breathing in his wonderful scent; Cinnamon and vanilla. Everything about him put my mind at rest.

"Yes. Only tomorrow night though. We can't risk it."

"Thank you. I know the risks your taking – I'm taking – but thank you for allowing me this moment." He kissed the top of my head, and I turned around to look fully at him.

"You deserve it. He was your baby after all." I couldn't ignore the jolt of pain that seized my body when he said that. My baby. He seemed to realise it to.

"You know Carlisle; you were involved in his short life." His eyebrows went up.

"What?" I chuckled lightly.

"I named him Harry Carlisle Platt." I saw emotions pay across his face. Stunned, bewilderement, happiness and...sadness?

"You named him after me?"

"Yes." I cupped his face in my hands. "You were a special part of my life."

"I... Thank you; you don't know how much that means to me." He kissed my gently on my cheek.

"It was my pleasure." I stretched up to match his eyes level and without thinking, our mouths joined once more, our tongues dancing delicately together. I didn't realise how much I actually needed him. Carlisle Cullen. My saviour.

**A/N**** – Sorry it's taken me ages to update, but with Christmas and New Year, things have been a little hectic. I also lost my cast this week so, it's been quite sad.**

**Anyways, if you liked this chapter, ****please review****, they're always appreciated and it makes my day. **

**Thanks or the wonderful people who are staying with me on this story, and are leaving me such kind reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying reading it as much as I'm writing it.**

**Also, I'm thinking of carrying on this story so it adds Rosalie, Emmett, Alice & Jasper, up until Bella comes to Forks at the beginning of twilight. Do you think that's a good idea, or do you think I should just stick to Carlisle/Esme? I would really like to hear your opinions. Katie1995**** :)**


	10. Funeral

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Funeral.**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

The stained windows reflected brilliant colours off the church walls. Although it was overcast light still managed to seep through the magnificent windows, making my skin appear to glow ever so slightly. It wasn't my choice to be here, but after all, I was here on behalf of Carlisle. Yes, today was Esme's memorable service, and her baby's funeral. Esme herself was devastated she couldn't come, but it was for the best. She couldn't be in danger of being recognised, and she was a newborn. I felt for her, her thoughts were only about her baby this morning and her only the sound of her sobs echoed around the house.

**(*Flash Back – That Morning.*) **

Again, Clair De Lune filled the house, mentally relaxing Esme. She's been "crying" all morning, and it wasn't getting any better. I could hear Carlisle's footsteps coming towards my room. Always the gentleman, he knocked. It was ridiculous considering I could hear his thoughts any way.

"Come in!" I called out. I don't know why but still...

He came through my door, and I knew what his question would be. I already knew the answer. It had been swirling around his head all night. _Will you attend Esme's memorable service? She wants someone she knows to be there for her baby's funeral on her behalf._

Before he had the chance to answer, I had already agreed. "Yes. Tell Esme I'll be there." He looked a little annoyed. _Know-it-all. _I chuckled. "Annoyed are we?" His expression was hard to read.

"No. It's just sometimes I would like to at least try and talk to you properly."

"Sorry Carlisle, but you counting to one-hundred in roman numerals didn't work this time round." He sighed exasperated.

"It's kind of mentally exhausting to do that Edward. If you tried to do it, I doubt you'd manage past fifty." I rolled my eyes. Look who was being all sarcastic now.

"Like I've said before, I can't help what I hear."

"I know." He smiled.

"How's she holding up?" Esme was a wreck this morning, and who could blame her? A mother should never have to experience her child dying before them.

"She's...unbalanced at the moment."

I sighed. "I'm sorry Carlisle. For both of you. I know how much you're hurting today, and I want to stop the pain, but I can't." He walked towards me and patted my shoulder.

"Thank you. It means at lot to Esme."

"Tell her I'm thinking of her."

"I will." I walked past Carlisle, and squeezed his shoulder in support. Once outside, I made my way to the church.

**(*End of Flashback*)**

I was sitting in the pew, furthest back, my self control wasn't the strongest, and so I didn't risk it. The sun had gone behind the clouds, and the first of many rain drops fell. The church was rapidly filling up with church goers, here to pay their respects to Esme, and her son. Too many thoughts were flying around the room making it too difficult to focus on one. It wasn't until the priest started talking, everyone became deadly silent.

"We're here today, to remember the life of Esme Anne Platt, and her son; Harry Carlisle Platt. Esme was only with us for a short time, but the impact she had on our lives affected us all for the greater good. Not only was she the teacher of your children, but she brought the heart and soul back into this little town. She lived each day to the full, and cared for each of your children as if they were her own. She was a kind woman, with a big heart, and I'm sure no-one will ever forget her. Her son was only three days old when he died, but with Esme as his mother, I'm sure his life was not taken for granted. He was cherished by Esme and our whole community before he entered this world, and was loved by all. Let us pray."

I heard a woman crying from the front pew. A little girl sat next to her, holding a doll. She must've been Esme's student. Her father was rubbing her Mother's arm, trying hard to calm her down, but it obviously wasn't working. _Why her? She was my best friend, she deserved better. Why does God do this? She didn't deserve this. Why?_

I'd been too wrapped up in her thoughts, that I didn't realise someone had started speaking, until I heard Esme's name. A woman – around her late 40's – was stood at the front where the vicar had been. She had brown curly hair, and her eyes were a deep green. She was short and rounded, and had silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Esme was a wonderful light in my life. She brought her Father and me so much happiness. She managed to help us solve petty disputes, even though she may not have realised it. Esme was always full of laughter, always loving, always optimistic and always without a doubt happy." I growled. Happy? She was far from it. "Not a day went by without me thinking of Esme. Went she went missing it was terrible. I didn't have a clue where she was. I thought I'd found her once, but it was a false trail. I never thought I would be here today. I thought she would come home." She held onto a man's hand for support. "But she didn't. And here we are now, saying goodbye for the final time. To my daughter, my life, my everything." A sob broke the silence, and every woman in the room now had tears rolling down their cheeks. "Not only her, but my Grandson as well. I didn't know she was pregnant. It was only when I got here, I found out she had a wonderful little boy." A faint smile touched her lips. "His little body lies with her spirit today, and no-one will ever hurt them again." I saw her steal a quick glance at the man next to her, and only one name came to mind. Charles. "They will be embraced by the arms of God, and loved for all eternity." She finished her speech by lighting a candle. If I could cry, I'm sure hot tears would've been spilling down my cheeks by now. So many people loved her.

"I to would like to say something." I looked up at the man. He was wearing a black waist coat, with a white shirt underneath and a black jacket over the top. He wore black trousers and a top hat. His voice was false when he spoke. "Esme was my wife." I heard shocked gasps fill the silence. How could he do this? Couldn't even leave her alone in death? This man stood at the front, ready, I'm sure, to make a heartfelt speech. I could feel myself losing it. Not only was he a liar, but he was a bastard. "She was the best thing that had ever happened to me." Yeah, his own personal punch bag. "I miss her every day, and it breaks my heart to know I'll never see her pretty face again. Never see that dazzling smile, or her cheeks flush red." _Or her face black and blue, her ribs broken, and her frail body quivering in terror. _I added mentally. "She was a woman with such passion." A single tear fell. What a wonderful façade. "And she loved everyone and everything. I can't understand why this happened, but I will never stop loving her." I chucked darkly under my breath. Love her? He couldn't love her if he tried. Every day she was treated like a dog by him. Her life wasn't worth living with him, he did this to her, and now he had the guts to do this. "I can't explain the grief of losing Esme. It hurts me even more now to know I had a son. I didn't – like her mother – know she was pregnant. When she went missing I was worried sick. I didn't know what would happen to her; I just wanted her home, safe. When I got here, I wasn't prepared for what I found. Esme had gone missing, and my son was dead. My life was gone. The two people I cherished most were no longer there." Tears started to fall quicker and thicker. I should really give him credit; his acting was quite something, not a single trace of cracking under pressure. I wanted to go up to him and break his neck. No, I wanted to kill him slowly, make sure he suffered the pain Esme had endured. My fingers around the arm rest were beginning to splinter the wood. _Calm down Edward. He's not worth it._

The vicar took the stand once more. "Anyone else?" I heard quiet mummers from the front pew.

"Come on Mary, you loved her like a sister."

"I can't Robert. I'll break down in front of everyone. She was a dear friend, yes, but I just...can't."

"Okay, I understand."

The vicar stood over the tiny white coffin, and made the sign of the cross. Esme's son was blessed, and so was she. He turned back to the congregation.

"If you would like to follow me into the cemetery; we will now lay little Harry to rest, along with Esme's heart." His words were so true. She was dying to be here, and now I think about it, I'm glad she couldn't come. If she saw _him _I'm not sure how she would've handled it.

Everyone filed out after the vicar, Charles and Robert carried the small coffin on their broad shoulders to the burial site. Ironic that the man who eventually killed them both was now carrying the coffin. I growled behind him, the instinct to kill had never been so strong until today. It was him who we should be burying, not Esme's son.

I pulled back from the crowd, and hovered around at the back. Everyone was offered a white rose to lay on the coffin. I twirled it about in my fingers, the thorns falling off. The rose reminded me of Esme. It was pure white, and beautiful. The delicate patterns, capturing my train of thought.

I walked up to the small coffin, and the grief I felt for a being I never knew, was overwhelming. I said a prayer, a goodbye from Esme, then laid the rose on the top above the name plaque. Charles after Esme's mother was the last to lay his rose. His sweet facade was cracking; his thoughts were beginning to show the true man he really was.

_Stupid cow, she thought she could get away from me. I swear to God, if she was still alive, I would've killed her myself. Ungrateful bitch; look where she's left me. I told her she was worthless, and I proved myself right. She couldn't even look after her own son properly. She killed him, _my_ son! Then she jumped off a cliff, she knew I'd catch her, and here I am. Coward. _

He was still crouched down by the grave, pretending to pray. I could feel my muscles, coiled to spring. I would kill this man, and he would be shown no mercy. I heard a twig snap behind me, I whipped around to face Esme's mother.

"I'm sorry, did I startle you?" My moth was still too tight to speak, so I nodded. "Sorry." I regained some control, but looking at the traitor stood just meters away, it was hard.

"I'm very sorry for your loss Miss..."

"Platt."

"Miss Platt. Esme was a wonderful member in our community; she was loved by all of the children." She smiled slightly.

"A teacher. I guess I shouldn't have kept her from her dreams, oh, how wrong I was..."

"Indeed." Esme wanted it so badly. Charles took his place by her side.

"How did you know her?" I stared him down.

"My father's friend's children were her students. Timothy and Ella, I used to take them to school when their parents were working. Their parent's and the children themselves held great praise for Esme's work, unlike some." I shot him a warning growl, and he stepped back.

"It sounds like a lot of people loved her."

"Oh, they did. She was a great benefactor of our community, she helped people get back on their feet again, and she gave the children a high quality of education."

"Please excuse me, sorry." Esme's mother, Emily – I think – walked over to greet another couple, leaving Charles and me alone. I took my chance.

"So, Charles, how does it feel?"

"Excuse me?"

"You've finally got what you wished for. Esme's dead."

"I don't know what you're going on about." I moved forwards so I was in his face.

"Oh, but you do. Perfectly well in fact."

"You're absolutely mad."

"No, I'm perfectly sane, though I wish I could say that about you." His eyes glazed over in pure anger. "After all, I wouldn't rape, beat and verbally assault my own wife!" My low voice was getting louder; my anger was at boiling point.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." His face was bemused.

"Yes! You do. Your facade, I must give you credit for. You really are a terrific actor, not one person knows what you're truly like. Oh no, sorry my mistake, I do." My eyes became slits, and so did his.

"You, young man have no rights. What do you expect to gain from this? No-one will believe you-

"Yes, they will. Esme got away from you, and you couldn't handle it could you? You missed your punching bag didn't you? So much in fact that you went searching for it. But you didn't find anything did you? She got away from you time and time again, and I'm happy she did." I chuckled darkly; the shock in his eyes was evident, no matter how hard he tried to cover it. "That baby you buried today will never be your baby. No, even if he is your flesh and blood, you have no rights to call yourself his father. Running from you, was the best thing Esme had ever done. She kept her baby safe from the danger she faced. The danger not being an illness, or a stranger, but his own father. You." I moved closer into him, and he raised his fist into the air. "Come on then, are you going to give me a taste of what Esme had to suffer every night?" His fist came flying down, into my waiting hand. I heard the bones in his fingers shatter. I smiled satisfied, as he screamed in pain, cradling his hand against his chest. The cusses going around in his head just made me smugger.

"W-what are you?"

I pointed at myself. "Me? I'm you worst nightmare."

"You will pay for this!" He jabbed a finger at me, and I laughed.

"No Charles, I won't, but if you take one more step, I won't be responsible for my actions." My eyes were black with rage, and he immediately took a step back. "Just be glad you're still alive. If it wasn't for that little bit of humanity I cling to, you would be gone." - I clicked my fingers. - "Just like that." His heart rate sped up, and started to sweat.

I looked at the pathetic creature in front of me. He coward away, seriously, my time wasn't worth wasting on him. I turned to walk away, but there was one more thing he needed to know.

"And by the way, Esme was never the coward. You were." I turned towards the forest, and broke into a run.

**A/N – Sorry it's taken a while to update, but here it is!**

**I hope you liked this Chapter. Edward's P.O.V. is always the hardest for me to right. Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, PLEASE review. It's much appreciated! Thanks, Katie1995.**


	11. Mum

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Mum.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

Edward came through the door like a crazed man. Esme and I had just come back from a hunting trip, and she was immediately wary of his movements.

_Edward. Can't you see your scaring her? _Edward turned his head in my direction.

"I'm sorry Carlisle" – he turned to Esme – "Esme." She just nodded, but her muscles were still tensed.

"Edward what happened?" He was still staring at me, and I could see the fire raging in his eyes. "Edward?"

"Carlisle, please not in front of..." Esme was stood in between us.

_What's made you so angry?_

"I'll tell you later." He started to walk away and Esme tugged him by the elbow. I was surprised she hadn't managed to tear his arm off.

"Edward, please, I want to know. It was my son's...funeral... after all." He sighed, exasperated.

"Esme, I don't think you'll want to know."

"Edward, please."

"Fine, can we sit down?"

"Of course." Edward led the way to our living room, Esme walking next to me, holding my hand. Once we were sat down, the conversation began; Esme had her head on my shoulder, and I kissed her hair.

"I'll ask again, Edward. What's made you so angry, what happened?"

He growled, deep in his chest. "He was there." I heard Esme gasp next to me.

"Charles? He actually went?"

"Yes. He was there." She found my hand and I squeezed it gently.

"B-but. I didn't actually think he would turn up."

"Esme, I told you, you wouldn't want to hear this." He went to get up but she stopped him again.

"No! I need to know." She looked at me; the fear in her eyes was evident however hard she tried to hide it. "What did he say?"

He suddenly swapped subjects, and it took her my surprise. "Your mother spoke first."

"She...I..."

"Your mother was distraught, naturally. Her speech was very touching she loved you so much, Esme" He repeated her speech to exact perfection: "Esme was a wonderful light in my life. She brought her Father and me so much happiness. She managed to help us solve petty disputes, even though she may not have realised it. Esme was always full of laughter, always loving, always optimistic and always without a doubt happy. Not a day went by without me thinking of Esme. Went she went missing it was terrible. I didn't have a clue where she was. I thought I'd found her once, but it was a false trail. I never thought I would be here today. I thought she would come home. But she didn't. And here we are now, saying goodbye for the final time. To my daughter, my life, my everything." She sobbed into my chest; I was rubbing her back in a circular motion, trying to calm her. "Not only her, but my Grandson as well. I didn't know she was pregnant. It was only when I got here, I found out she had a wonderful little boy. His little body lies with her spirit today, and no-one will ever hurt them again. They will be embraced by the arms of God, and loved for all eternity."

Another batch of sobs broke free from Esme's chest. I wrapped my arms around me and she hid her head in the crook of my neck.

"O-oh, C-Carlisle. How could I-I have j-just left her like t-that?"

"Esme, darling, you did it for the right reasons."

"But Carlisle, don't you see? I robbed her of a grandson, and a daughter. I left without a trace, and left her heart broken."

"Esme" – Edward interceded – "She still loves you. She forgives you for doing what you did." Her head came up to look at Edward. I felt so useless. I couldn't comfort Esme in any way what so ever. It's not like I knew what she was going through.

"S-she does?"

"Yes. She despised Charles for what he did to you, but you have to understand, when you told her about...Charles, she was fighting battles of her own."

"What do you mean?"

"She believed you Esme. She knew what you were going through, from...past experiences." I felt my eyes go wide. How could this happen twice?

"No. Edward I won't believe it." Her hand was gripping around mine. "Not my father..."

"Esme, not your Father. Never your Father. Your mother had to watch her mother suffer at the hands of her father every single day. She grew up watching her mother being destroyed by the person she thought she loved."

"What?"

"She didn't want the same fate for you Esme. When Charles came into the scene, she believed him to be a real gentleman. She never knew..."

"And I turned my back on her..." I cupped her face in both of my hands, so she was looking at me. Face to face.

"Esme, you didn't know. What happened, happened. We can' change the past, we can only learn, and gain experience from what _has_ past. You when you ran, you didn't know. Nor – do I think – she intended for you to know, that her past was linked so strongly with your own life. She was trying to protect you." I kissed her softly on the lips.

"Carlisle's right. Your mother though that if she confronted Charles, he would do something terrible...she thought he would end up killing you."

"I..." Her eyes were full of understanding. "B-but what about Charles, What did he say about me?" Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You really want to know?" I don't know why Edward was asking. She wasn't going to give in. He shot me an annoyed look.

_Sorry._

Edward...please. I have to know." He sighed again.

"He out on the usual charade Esme, "heartbroken," for his dear wife, and his infant son." Esme's mouth was in a tight line. I hated this man so much. What he did, what she went through. A soft growl made its way from my chest.

"Edward. That isn't what I asked. What did he _say?_" His features were pulled up into a frown.

"You're not going to give up are you?"

"Tell. Me. Exactly. What. He. Said." Her face was stern.

"If I must." Again, he managed to imitate his voice to perfection. "Esme was my wife. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I miss her every day, and it breaks my heart to know I'll never see her pretty face again. Never see that dazzling smile, or her cheeks flush red. She was a woman with such passion. And she loved everyone and everything. I can't understand why this happened, but I will never stop loving her. I can't explain the grief of losing Esme. It hurts me even more now to know I had a son. I didn't – like her mother – know she was pregnant. When she went missing I was worried sick. I didn't know what would happen to her; I just wanted her home, safe. When I got here, I wasn't prepared for what I found. Esme had gone missing, and my son was dead. My life was gone. The two people I cherished most were no longer there." I growled, my eyes black with rage. Esme just sat there, her mouth a perfect "o" shape. Her breathing was shallow. Edward went got up, but Esme touched his hand, stopping him again. "I'm sorry if it hurt you Esme, but I warned you.

"No, no. You did only what I asked of you. Thank you for telling me. It was something I needed to know." He reached a hand out, and squeezed Esme's shoulder.

"I'm sorry...mum." Esme's head shot in his direction, and he smiled.

"Pardon?"

"Esme, I realised I was missing someone in my life. I already had a father" – he nodded in my direction – "But I needed a mother." Esme got up so she was standing in front of him. "Would you?"

I watched from the sofa, as Esme jumped up – faster than light – and threw her arms around Edward.

"I would be honoured."

"Thank you Mum."

She cupped his face in her hands. "No Edward, thank you." Their faces both held wide grins, and their eyes held so much admiration for each other, it was overwhelming. Before I knew it, Esme had pulled me up, and I was having a "family hug" moment. Finally, I had a family. Esme had brought us together in more ways possible, and I couldn't thank her enough. I felt - as I think everyone did at that moment - that I had a place on this earth. As a father, a husband, and a protector, and there was only one person I could thank for bringing us together as one. That person was Esme.

**A/N – sorry it's taking me so long to update. I'll try to be faster. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter, a little family moment. **

**A shout out to all of those who are reviewing and sticking with me on this story, it's very much appreciated, and your reviews make my day. Also to those who have added this story to their favourites, and added me to their favourite author's list, THANK YOU! **

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, PLEASE review! They're really encouraging to read, and it makes my day – like I've said multiple times before.**


	12. Goodbye

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Goodbye.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

The joy I felt at those simple words was overwhelming. Edward, out of all people wanted –chose – me to be his "mother." My arms were still around his body, hugging him tightly. My life – finally – was turning out better than I had ever thought possible. I had lost a son, but my rebirth gained me another, not only that, but I had Carlisle as well. Carlisle, the one person I had only wanted to be with, forever. I was like that teenage girl again, dizzy with happiness. And I loved them with every fibre in my being. _Thank you God. _He answered my prayers eventually.

"Uh...Esme...you're...kind of...squashing me...can't...breath." I looked at Edward. He'd stopped breathing entirely.

I pulled back. "Sorry." He chuckled lightly.

"You didn't do anything wrong, let's just say you're very strong."

"Oh yes...I forgot?" I smiled sheepishly. Suddenly Carlisle's arms snaked around my waist, making me jump.

"Carlisle." I laughed. "I wasn't expecting that." He smiled widely back at me, and shrugged his shoulders.

"I know." I pecked him on his lips, and he caught me – his right hand on the small of my back – so our bodies were touching completely, and pulled me into a full kiss. His lips were perfect, if I could, I would do this forever. Not needing to breath was an advantage. I heard Edward shift, then cough uncomfortably besides me, I pulled away, nodding to where Edward was standing.

_Sorry Edward. _I mean, you wouldn't want to hear your parents thinking like that. It's just...embarrassing. I saw him nod once in the corner of my eye.

Carlisle entwined his fingers with mine again, and then, asked something I had pushed to the back of my mind.

"Are you ready?" I gulped back the venom that was pooling at the back of my throat. Not because I was thirsty, but I was scared. How would I cope?

"I...yes."

"Are you sure? I mean, there's no rush for you to do this." I shook my head.

"I need to. It's a necessity. If I don't go tonight, then I never will. We're moving in two weeks. I'm ready."

"Esme..."

"Carlisle, it's something I have to face, and I need your help." Edward took his place by Carlisle. I turned my attention towards him. "And, if you would, I would like you help to?" He took my hand.

"Yes, I'll help you."

"Thank you" It came out in a whisper.

Carlisle walked away then, leaving me an Edward alone, in a comfortable silence. Would I get through this?

"You're a strong woman, Esme. It will hurt, a lot, but you'll get through tonight." I nodded at him, my thoughts still a million miles away.

I was looking at my feet when I heard Carlisle enter the room. He had a new dress over his arm – black, of course – and a coat, also black. I gasped. I couldn't imagine how expensive it would've been.

"Carlisle, you didn't have to –

"Yes, I did. I couldn't let you go in a shirt and trousers." He held the dress out to me, and I took them off him delicately.

"Thank you. I'll pay you back." He placed his hand over mine.

"No Esme, you won't. What I have, I have to share, and that includes money." I was speechless. "I'll meet you downstairs when you're ready."

I walked slowly up the stairs, letting what was about to happen completely sink in. I grabbed the banister for support, I couldn't breathe. I dropped the dress beside me, and sat down, breathing in and out as deeply as I could. My hands were shaking, and so was my body. I felt strong arms lift me up.

"Come on darling, I'll help you. If you want me to, that is." My head nodded. I wasn't really aware of what was happening, or what I was doing for that matter.

He lifted me up, clothes over his arm, and carried me to my room. I buried my head in the crook of his neck until he placed me on my bed. I felt his fingers underneath my chin and my head lifted, so I was facing him. He placed a small kiss on my head.

"Are you sure you want my help?"

"Yes." My throat was dry; all I could manage was a croak. Still I was slightly apprehensive, no one had seen me in my under garments except Charles, and that wasn't exactly a happy memory.

My voice shook when I spoke. "Would you help me with the buttons?" My hands were still shaking too much for me to even try undoing my buttons. Warily, he started undoing them. I had a corset on underneath, stupid when I was wearing a shirt, but I felt odd without it. It was a sort of protector against Charles at times. Again I let my thoughts wonder to _him. _Why was I letting him ruin this life to?

"There we go." I felt the shirt being tugged lightly from my shoulders.

"I'll let you do your trousers. I'll be waiting outside. If you need me, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you." He smiled sympathetically, and walked out. It took all my strength not to break down. _I have to get through this. _I slid the dress, with ease, over the top of my head, and pulled it carefully around my waist and over my hips. It fitted me perfectly. The skirt fell around my ankles, even my stocking were black. When I made sure my dress was fitted right, I drifted over to the mirror. The woman looking back was shocked once again, at her own reflection. The dress was simple but beautiful all the same. Lace ran up the sides, and underneath the top section, acting as a sort of empire line. Simple was beautiful, always. A ghost of a smile graced my lips. I put the coat on next, it fell exactly right around me, with the sleeves meeting my wrists, and the coat falling to mid thigh length. It had a broach attached to the right side, dark blue in colour. It looked quite expensive; I made a mental note not to ask how much it had cost. I already felt guilty enough about the dress. I redid my hair, and tied it – like on my wedding day – in curls at the nape of my neck. I alternated looks between the door and the mirror.

"Carlisle." I whispered. The door creaked open slightly, and I could hear the floorboards creaking underneath his feet as he got closer. He put a hand on my shoulder, and I raised my left hand to place on top his, which was on my right shoulder. There were two people staring back at me now. The woman was no longer alone. I gripped his hand tight, afraid if I let go, I wouldn't be able to stand any longer.

"Esme." His lips found my cheek, and I closed my eyes.

"Carlisle, I'm...I..."

"Shhhh... you'll get through this Esme, I promise, I – along with Edward – will be with you every step of the way."

"I love you." The words had never felt more right to say.

"I love you too. Come on, it'll be morning soon." I looked at the clock; it was nearly 1:00am.

"Where's Edward." I had to clear my throat.

"He's waiting in the garage."

"Why?"

"We're taking the automobile."

"Oh..." He smiled slightly.

"Shall we?" I turned round, he held his hand, and I took it.

"How ready _is_ ready?" I walked sided by side with Carlisle. He has his other hand lightly placed on the small of my back.

"You can heal."

Edward was standing statue still by the automobile. Charles used to drive one; it was quite expensive, made by some posh company, I didn't know the name though. I didn't do mechanics.

"Esme?"

"Edward." He was holding the door open for me; Carlisle was already sitting in the back. "Thank you." He took my hand as I sat in the back.

"My pleasure Madam." I smiled, and so did he. The sorrow was lifted if only for a couple of seconds.

Carlisle had his hand rested on the middle seat, so I placed mine on top. He looked up at me, and I snuggled closer, resting my head on his shoulder. His scent slightly calming me down. He was murmuring reassurances, but I couldn't take any comfort from them. Tonight would be painful for both me and him. I saw Edward steal a quick glance from the rear view mirror. _I'm fine. _His glance didn't change, it was still concerned. _Please. _I saw him nod once. We'd been driving for nearly one and a half hours. I'd never realised that we'd lived that far away from the city. I knew we lived in solitude but it seemed like we were taking for ever to get there. Edward slowed down, and turned the corner, as soon as he did, a million scents hit me full force. The strongest making my throat burn one-hundred times hotter than before.

"Carlisle." I ignored the warning in his voice. I had to put the fire out. "Hold her down." I felt two strong arms pin me to the seat, but I was stronger.

Before I knew it, Edward had pulled over and was helping restrain me – along with Carlisle – from the scent that I needed so badly. Human Blood. It smelled like chocolate would to a human, but a thousand times better. I could only imagine how it would feel sliding down my throat, the warmth while I feasted. It was pure delight, but I still struggled in the vice of both Carlisle and Edward's arms.

"Esme! Esme, look at me." I felt someone's hand on my cheek.

"Let me go!" I wriggled about but it was no use.

"Esme, listen to Carlisle."

"No! I need to stop the burning. Please!"

"I know, I know. Just look at me. Remember why you're here." I refocused my attention to Carlisle's face. My ruby eyes glistening in his amber orbs. I could hear his words more clearly.

"You're not here to kill. You're here for him. Remember that. He needs you." I caught my breath.

"You're right."

"There we go. We're nearly there."

"You're sure she's alright Carlisle?" I looked at Edward, concern etching his features.

"She'll be okay. Just be wary. As soon as we get to the outskirts, she'll be fine. I promise." Edward nodded once before taking his place at the front again. "Esme, I need you to listen to me."

"Okay..."

"I need you to look at me, just me – nowhere else – and concentrate on my face." I stared at him, concentrating on each little detail of his God like face. The lines that appeared when he frowned, the way his eyebrows pulled up when he was thinking, the colour of his eyes, the shape of his nose, the shape of his lips, and the colour of his hair. I delicately touched each of his features, remembering how each felt under my finger tip. I retraced the same pattern and when I got to his lips he caught my hand in his and kissed each finger before placing our entwined hands on my lap.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry." He looked quizzically at me.

"What for?"

"That. It was unruly, embarrassing even..."

"It's not your fault. You're still a newborn; the bloodlust is at its highest when you're this young. It's only natural you should act this way when you've never encountered human blood before –

"I know, but Carlisle, if you weren't there I could've ended up killing I-I don't know how many people. People with lives, children, husbands, wives, families!" His hand gripped tightly around mine.

"I won't let that happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm determined enough to stop that happening, and so are you." I placed my head on his chest, where his heart was, listening to nothing but the gentle pattern of his breathing.

"We're here." Edward spoke solemnly from the front. The sign read: Ashland Cemetery. I had to choke back a sob. The pain rolled over my body like a tsunami destroying a whole town in its path. Edward visibly flinched and I automatically felt guilty. He didn't need this sort of dilemma.

The car slowed down and eventually came to a stop. I gripped the material of the seat in my right hand, balling it up into a fist.

"I-I c-can't do this." Carlisle put his arm around my shoulders.

"You can. I'll be there, you're not alone." Edward opened the passenger door and held his hand out. I grabbed it, too tightly, and stepped out of the car. I'd started to allow myself to breathe again, but it was uneven. Carlisle climbed out after me.

"Follow me." Edward had started walking easterly towards the doors to the church. Carlisle was supporting most of my weight; my feet were walking from their own accord.

"Esme?"

"I'm fine." Edward kept walking in front of us. His movements slow.

He stopped, suddenly, in front of a newly placed gravestone. "Here." I stopped, but he pulled back, along with Carlisle. His head nodded in the direction I needed to go.

I walked warily to the burial site, assessing my stability, along with Edward as well I expected. I stopped only a few feet away from the grave stone, and finally, the grief caught up with me. I felt my knees lock beneath me. I fell to the floor, digging my fingernails into the soil and I wailed. The grief crushed my very existence, and I couldn't breathe. Only strangled "sorry's" managed to leave my mouth. I wanted tears to fall; I wanted to show my anger, my grief, show something. But I couldn't and I never would. I sobbed into the floor curled up in a ball. I felt my body shaking the pain wasn't easing.

"Carlisle." Edward whispered. I heard gentle footsteps from behind me, the grass scrunching beneath his feet, and he kneeled down. I felt his arms around my waist and he pulled me up so I was kneeling by his side. I fell into his chest, grabbing his shirt for support I wouldn't find. I sobbed into his chest, some were screams, some were whispers, and some were words of apology. I was dry heaving into grass below me. He stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth.

"I c-can't c-cope."

"Shhhh." He continued rocking me. "This is a-all m-my fault!"

"No, it's not Esme. This was never your fault."

"It was! If I'd been a better mother, this wouldn't have happened!"

"You couldn't have stopped this. You weren't to know." The momentum was steady as he rocked me, kissing my hair.

It another two hours before I could look at the engraved name without breaking down, Carlisle sat with me in his arms all that time, never once leaving me. I pulled away from his comforting grip, so I was level with the grave stone. I traced his name with my index finger, whispering as I went.

"Harry Carlisle Platt." I smiled slightly. Harry _Carlisle_ Platt. Underneath his name was the thing I didn't want to read but _had_ to read.

_**Born**__ – 21/1/1921 __**Died**__ – 24/1/1921_

"No...Oh my baby. I love you so much. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you. Your Mummy misses you so much, darling. Not a single day goes by when I don't think about you. I'm sorry..." Another batch of sobs broke free from my chest.

"Come on darling." I could feel him pulling me up.

"No."

"I know how difficult this is for you. But we need to get going." I looked at him, my eyes pleading.

"Please..."

"I'm sorry Esme, really I am, but we have to go."

"But he'll be there all by himself. Alone! I can't leave him."

"You won't be leaving him. His spirit is with God, and he'll always without a doubt be in your heart. He's not alone; he'll always be with you." I felt his lips brush mine. "Come on." I let him pull me up. Edward walked to my side and he passed me a white rose.

Carlisle walked towards Edward; they were stood by the automobile. Gently I placed the rose in front of the head stone. Two words whispered in the wind.

"Goodbye darling."

**A/N – Sorry if it feels like I'm taking too long to update but school's getting on top of me at the moment. But... here it is. I know it's quite sad, but happier things will happen in the next chapter.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, leave a review. They're always appreciated and they're great to read. Thanks to those who are sticking with this story, your reviews are always encouraging to read. Thank You Again! Katie1995. **


	13. Diamonds & Cardboard boxes

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Diamonds & Cardboard boxes.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

I watched Esme as she ghosted around her room, packing everything she'd need for the journey ahead. It wasn't much. Just a few boxes full of books, clothes and art materials. The unused boxes scattered around her abode. She was doing quite well actually. The first time Edward had moved city was when he was still a newborn. He hadn't been so...successful in his packing. He was really quite lucky he had some shirts left at all, always misinterpreting the amount of force he needed for every simple task.

"What dress do you think I should take?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Esme's sweet voice. She was comparing two different dresses. I didn't mind, she looked stunning in whatever she chose to wear.

"It's up to you, Darling." She made a face.

"I know, but it's always so _difficult._"

"I really don't mind. Take both if you want. You'll look beautiful either way."

"Which one though? The emerald green or midnight blue?" Fine, maybe it was a tricky situation.

"Both."

"Carlisle I can't take both, it will weigh us down."

"Esme, we're vampires. Plus we're taking the automobile." She sighed exasperated.

"I _know_ that Carlisle, I just don't want to make it look like we're leaving the country. If you hadn't brought me so many dresses in the first place, we wouldn't be in this predicament now, would we?

"I'm sorry, Madam." My tone, mocking. "Do you want me to take them back?" Her head snapped in my direction.

"Don't do that. Of course I appreciate what you did, but they're still all very expensive."

"I've told you before Esme. You're family now, I share everything I have. Money as well."

"Thank you Carlisle. They're both absolutely gorgeous."

"My pleasure." Her one thousand watt smile lit up the room, her teeth sparkling like pearls. She walked up to me and sat on my lap, turning around to face me.

"I love you." I kissed her cheek.

"I love you, too. You've brought me out of the shadows."

"And you healed my broken heart." The back of her hand stroked my cheek. We sat there like that for a while, just basking in each other's company. Her steady breathing was the only sound, her sweet breath the only scent.

"Carlisle, I have to pack." She unfolded my arms from around her waist easily and got up to pack the rest of her stuff. "You know. I'll just take both dresses." I smiled widely, I knew she's come to that conclusion; she just couldn't tear herself away from either one. "What?"

"I knew you couldn't decide." She flashed her brilliant smile again and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh well. When good money is spent, I like to see that that good money isn't wasted."

"Of course." She giggled.

Behind her the yellow curtains hung sadly to the floor. An unusual brightness making them appear to glow slightly. Then it hit me. It was sunshine I could see through the curtains. Esme had never encountered this before. I didn't want to scare her; she'd just managed to start trusting me enough to hold her properly. She'd just started to trust Edward enough to fully make eye contact with him. I cursed myself. Why didn't I think of this earlier?

I refocused my attention to Esme; she was still floating around the room humming to herself and packing. I watched her intently, just watching the little things she did. How delicately she lifted things up, petrified she'd destroy everything she touched. Watching how she seemed to waltz around the room in her own little dance. The yellow of the curtains glowing more brightly each second, but I still sat there, mesmerised by her beauty and her grace. She was _my _sunshine.

"Carlisle, are you just going to sit there?" She looked at me, her hands on her hips and her tone disapproving, though a slight smile was playing around the corners of her lips.

"Why not? I have everything I need."

"Hm. And what is that?" I got so I was behind her, snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her into me, whispering...

"You." Again she twisted around in my arms to face me – well – my chest.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen, you are a hopeless romantic." She rose on her tiptoes and pressed my lips to mine. I accepted. I just couldn't get enough of her. After 278 years without a soul mate, I had realised just how lonely I really was. Even with Edward for company, the silence was always somewhat awkward. I was still missing something – someone – her. Now I'd found her, I wouldn't let her go. Not again.

"Touché" Her smile blinded me once again.

"And you're just going to take me are you? What about your things?" I kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Now you see Esme, I'm one step ahead of you. My stuff is already in the garage."

"You're always prepared Doctor."

"Not always..."

"And when was that?" I cupped her face in my hands.

"When _you _came into my life."

"Which point in your life?"

"Both times. The first time I was graced with your presence Esme, I was star stricken. I didn't think I would ever feel that way about a human, but you, managed to change my perspective of my existence. The second time I thought I was living my worst nightmare. Seeing you just laying there, so...broken, it broke my heart. I couldn't lose you again, not in a way like that."

"But Carlisle, I'm here now, and I promise, I will never leave you again. I have eternity to make up for." She grasped my hand.

"And I do too."

"Well then, I know how you can start off..."

"Yes?"

"Help me pack." She escaped my grasp and threw a cardboard box at me. I caught it with ease.

"You can't throw me that easily." I had a grin plastered from ear to ear on my face.

"Really?" She stalked towards me and pounced. I moved out of the quickly out of the way and she landed – in a crouch position – where I was previously stood. She too, had a grin painted on her face. I crouched down to her level and pounced. She moved out of my way with ease and landed behind me with a soft _thud, _I whipped around so I was facing her once again.

"Either way Esme, you'll probably win."

"I don't know Carlisle. You have, after all, had _years _of experience." I laughed she didn't know the half of it.

"Oh you do not know how true that is."

"I'm sure I don't." I jumped towards her and she flipped me so my back was on the floor and she was looking down on me. "You were saying?" I reached up to stroke her cheek. Her grip loosened ever so slightly, I took the advantage and flipped her round so her back was on the floor. I hovered above her, a smug smile pulling up the corners of my mouth.

"That isn't fair. You can't dazzle everyone on the battlefield."

"I think you've just found out that I can." She pouted and sighed, annoyed.

When I was sure she had given up, I let go, only to be outsmarted once again. She jumped on my back while it was turned and had her lips to my neck. I froze almost automatically, but was left with a delicate kiss in the place of my moon arched scar. I felt her breath on my skin, breathing it in. Blossom and Honey. It made me almost dizzy; though I was still aware of the fact that she was still on my back.

"Are you going to let go?"

"Maybe..." Her tone was mocking.

"Or...do I have to make you?" At that moment I heard the front door slam shut. Oops. _Sorry Edward._

"You plan to do that how?" I grabbed so she was stood in front of me, her back facing me, and my arms tight around her waist and tickled her. "C-Carlisle." She managed to gasp out between laughs. "S-stop it!"

"You were asking for this."

"C-Carlisle. P-please. I-I can't b-breathe."

"You don't need to breathe. Vampire, remember?"

"V-very f-funny. J-just s-stop it!"

I carried on until she collapsed down on her knees and held her stomach. I let her go, but her laughter still rang in my ears.

"I t-told you I –c-couldn't breathe."

"Well, it isn't my fault you forgot you don't need to breathe." Her look was stern, but I could see the spark of humour in eyes.

"You do not know how much trouble you're in now, mister."

Without warning she grabbed a pillow and hit me full force with it on my arm. Feathers were flying everywhere.

"Two can play that game." Her laughter filled the room with life. I ran towards her like a kid with the other pillow above my head, aiming straight towards the beautiful woman stood before me. In a flash she was stood on the bed - the one thing we still hadn't "packed" – and threw the pillow at me. I caught it in one hand, but threw it back. "On guard!"

"Oh, Carlisle."

"I'm being serious Esme. Let the best vampire win."

She was in front of me in a shot.

"You're on." I felt like a child again, care free and undoubtedly happy. This was the most fun I had had in ages.

We circled each other half crouching half standing, teasing each other with false starts. I made the first move, lunging at her, but unsurprisingly, she skilfully dodged my hit. She went next, but missed me as I jumped onto the bed, her sharp eyes following me every move.

"I can see you've had practice with this sort of thing."

"I used to have pillow fights with my friend all the time. She was like my sister." Sadness clouded her sparkling orbs, but didn't distract her from the task at hand.

"Well, let's see if that practice did you any good." Before I know it, she was on the bed with me and we were both hitting each other at random. Feathers fell like snowflakes around us and the sound of laughter was the only thing you could hear.

"You won't give in will you?"

"Never." I replied.

"Fine, I'll have to make you." She advanced towards me with her half empty pillow case, still taking shots at me. I lost my balance as I tried to defend myself. I was half on and half off the bed when I pulled her down with me. I could've easily stopped it, but where was the fun in that?

"Carlisle!" I laughed freely as I looked at the shock on Esme's face.

"Yes?"

"Look." Her face turned deadly serious and her hand unclenched around the pillow. I followed her gaze to where my arm was placed. I hadn't realised where I had fallen. Esme immediately retreated backwards. I saw as a billion diamonds poured over the floor, shining every colour of the rainbow. I'd fallen into the curtain.

"Esme, don't be scared."

"Carlisle, what _is_ it? Why are you...sparkling?"

"Esme..."

"I thought we burned in the sun light!" Her eyes were panicked, but held an element of wonder.

"Myth."

"W-what?"

"Esme, don't panic darling, I was the same as you when I first saw this."

"Does it hurt?" I looked into her scared eyes, every colour reflecting off of them.

"No."

"Then why? Why does our skin sparkle?"

I sighed. "Esme, our bodies have hardened, frozen into a kind of living stone. Each little cell in our skin has become a separate facet that reflects the light. These facets have a prism-like quality, and when hit by sun, throw rainbows as they glitter." Esme started to edge towards me and the sun.

"It is safe?"

"Yes. I would tell you if it wasn't, wouldn't I." She held out her hand and I took it. She put her other arm out in front of her, edging it closer to the line of sunshine that broke through the gap in the curtains, and then pulled away. "Esme, trust me. You'll be fine."

She edged towards it again until her fingertips were in direct sun light. She looked at me, and I nodded. Her hand followed, and so did her arm. Another billion diamonds spilled across the wooden panes to join mine. I looked over at Esme. She was mesmerised by her arm, the sparkles and the colours.

"It's beautiful." She whispered, half of her face catching the sun.

"Yes, stunning."

**A/N – I hope you liked this Chapter. I wanted to give a new insight to Carlisle and Esme and to show the fun side of them. I hope I did a good job.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, PLEASE Review. Thanks Katie1995 **


	14. Carlisle

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Carlisle.**

**Esme's P.O.V**

I watched asa thousand rainbows danced around the room, the dust particles dancing delicately around each other, like planets orbiting the sun. I wasn't scared...just surprised. It was amazing, utterly breath taking.

"Esme?" I looked up at Carlisle, half his face in direct sun light. His eyes sparkled with the diamonds dancing around the room. He was beautiful. Without a second thought, I reached up and stroked his cheek. I was mesmerized by the beautiful angel in front of me.

"You're beautiful." His lips pulled up into a smile.

"Not as beautiful as you." I hung my head slightly, he really believed in me.

"I think you're wrong again, Doctor."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He chuckled.

"Then why am I blinded when I look at you?"

"For the same reason I am when I look at you." His hand found my cheek; I put my hand up to find his. "I meant it Carlisle. I will _never _leave you again. If God has let me find you again, I'm sure he has a good future for me, for us."

"You believe in God?" My reflection in his orbs was almost shocked.

"You don't?"

"Yes, yes. I'm just surprised you still believe in a God, that's all."

"Why is that surprising?" I crawled onto his lap and he held me to him.

"Because...because I guess I had lost hope in finding some like me."

"What?" He looked down at me and sighed.

"Edward. He doesn't believe that there's anything for our kind after death. He believes we are monsters wondering continuously to quench our everlasting thirst. He doesn't believe we have souls." I gasped slightly.

"He really believes that?"

"Yes." Was all he had to say.

"But Carlisle...no...it's not true. Someone as generous as you_ has_ to have a soul. You've denied your nature, you save people every day, and you're without a doubt deserving of God's love." His eyes were misty.

"I-I don't know what to say..." I put my index finger over his lips, hushing him.

"Then make no sound." His lips twitched slightly.

"It must sound weird mustn't it? A vampire that believes in God. A monster that still holds onto hope."

"No...no. After all, hope abandoned me. And even after that happened, even after he took my baby away from me, I still believed in something. I didn't know what it was. But when I jumped of that cliff, when the pain hit and the burning raged my damaged body, God was the one I prayed to. The one I blamed for everything wrong in my life, I still asked things for. And even if I didn't like it, he was still part of my existence." I looked back up at Carlisle. His mouth was agape.

"Thank you."

"I didn't do anything..."

"Yes. Yes you did. You let me believe again, you renewed my faith."

"I didn't think it was broken." He sighed again.

"Not completely." I met his eyes.

"What do you mean, not completely?"

"I always had a reason to believe in him. I couldn't avoid him; he's been part of me for too long." I twisted around in his arms so I could face him fully.

"How long?" A soft smile graced his lips again.

"A while."

"Carlisle?"

"278 years." I felt my jaw drop.

"Two. Hundred. And. Seventy. Eight. Years?"

"Uh...yes."

"W-why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I know this is how you would've reacted. You were fragile enough as it was anyway."

"You still should've told me..."

"I know and I'm sorry." I smiled at him.

"Tell me now."

"You really want to know?" I made my best face to look offended. "I-I mean of course you should know." I chuckled slightly.

"It's just I've always been curious of that slight accent."

"You can hear that?"

"It's not strong, just a slight twang. I think it's quite cute actually. Are you...English?" I felt him smile in my hair from where he'd left a kiss. "You are, aren't you?" It took a while for him to answer.

"I was born in London." I felt myself gasp, and twisted off of his lap to kneel in front of him.

"London..."

"1643, to be exact."

"Th-that's amazing." His teeth shone brightly in the light.

"My Father was a strict pastor. He had set in stone beliefs about good and evil, Heaven and Hell. My whole life up until my change was spent following his example, trying to please him every way I could, but it was never enough." His brow pulled up into a frown, and I grasped his hand. He helped me with my past, now I had to help him with his.

"I'm here." He smiled softly at me, but his eyes were clouded over, trying to remember half kept memories.

"It was always just me and him, never anyone else. I used to live in denial..."

"Why?" His eyes flickered to my face.

"Because if it wasn't for me, my mother would've still been with him, alive."

"Carlisle, no. That wasn't your fault. Childbirth was – is – still difficult for any mother to go through, believe me, it isn't easy. The death of your mother was NOT your fault because I know that she would've given up the world for you Carlisle. You may not have known it, but _I _know that she loved you to death even before you were born." Carlisle made a chocked noise. I snapped my head up to meet him, he was "crying." I didn't know what to do; I grabbed his other hand, so I was holding both and squeezed them tightly.

"I-I'm s-sorry. You s-shouldn't need to s-see me l-like this."

"Carlisle, even angels have to cry sometimes. You're doing nothing wrong. Just let it out." His chest started shaking more frequently. I held him in my arms. _How long has he kept this bottled up? _I let him finish, after all, I knew what was like to be in his position. "You don't need to tell me this..."

"No. You told me yours, now I have to tell you mine."

"Are you sure?" He nodded.

"When my mother...died, my father was my only support in this world. He had very strict views on the world around him, views he passed onto me."

"Of course..."

"From the age of five I was made to go to church every Sunday and worship. I was really too young to grasp the concept, but my father constantly went on about the sins of this evil world, and the paradise of heaven, if we ever got there."

"You will get there, one day, with me." Even if he didn't realise it, I knew God wouldn't turn him away.

"I was homeschooled, if you'd like to call it that, by my father. As I got older, I felt deprived of opportunity. My attention wavered more towards science, something my father was strongly against."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. I did nothing. I knew what my future was and whether I liked it or not, it was the future I had to lead." Again he frowned.

"What did you want to be?"

"Me? Well, I wanted to be a doctor" – His chuckled to himself – "Or, a scientist. My father on the other hand wanted me to take over his work and _his _church when he passed."

"You had no say in the matter?"

"No. I learnt from an early age never to go against my father. When I did, he lashed me." I gasped. I couldn't imagine how hostile his childhood would've been.

"I'm sorry..."

"You don't need to be, it was my life, I didn't know any different." I sighed, angrily – no – hurt. He didn't deserve a lifestyle like that.

"What happened...I mean, to you?" His tone turned dark, and I won't lie but it scared me a bit.

"When I turned fifteen, my father began to grow weaker. He started to get worn down, more illnesses invading his body. I was sick enough to feel just a tiny bit relieved, not for me, but for the people of my community. You see, my father wasn't only a pastor, he hunted for the monsters of our world too, determined to find the witches and vampires that invaded our society."

"He knew such things existed?"

"No, he didn't know. It was just a myth to him, nothing else. But that myth, that claim that there were such things in this world made him determined to hunt them down, get rid of the monsters, the sin. Many people died by my father's hands, many innocent women and children. Their deaths still haunt me to this day. Knowing I could've – should've – done something, but didn't. They died because I was a coward. Too scared to stand up against my father and tell him what he was doing was wrong, stupid!" His voice got louder, not to mention a few octaves higher. He was shouting, angry, frustrated with himself. His hands now balled up in fists, making his tendons stick out through his skin. I cupped his face, knowing that usually, it was the best way to calm him down, to comfort him.

"It wasn't your fault-

"Yes it was. I could've stopped it but I ignored it. I chose to be blind to other people's suffering."

"Don't you _ever_ say that. You stopped _my _suffering. What your father did was wrong; you couldn't be helped with him."

"But it doesn't matter now does it? I'm here, with you, now, thanks to him."

"How did _he _help you?"

"Well, it wasn't really helping, it was just chance." I looked at him confused.

"Carlisle?"

"Like I said before, when I turned fifteen, he took me with him. On his...searches for the _then_ mythical creatures."

"He took you with him?"

"Only when he really needed me, which was most of the time anyway. I hated myself. The people he thought guilty were burnt at the stake..." He hung his head in shame.

"Carlisle, I'm so, so sorry..." I put my finger under his chin and lifted it up so he was look at me. "But it's in the past, what happened was because of your father not you."

"I wish I could believe you..." I was about to interject when he spoke again. "You're probably thinking how this has anything to do with my change, but trust me it plays a great part in my story. You see, I carried on "helping" my father, through my teenage years up until my early twenties." He stopped short.

"Carlisle..."

"One night my father gave me the task of finding a supposed coven of vampires. Like so many times before, I didn't believe him." I took a sharp intake of breath, now realising what must've happened. Carlisle just nodded slightly at my response.

"Not like that..." His hand found mine.

"I was twenty-three when I went on that particular "hunt." I was inexperienced doing it by myself, since that moment, my father had always, let's say, accompanied me. That night was different, he was ill with flu and his arthritis was paining him. I went on his behalf really, no other reason, he already had a cult but I was made the leader."

"W-what happened?"

His black eyed penetrated my soul, if I still had one, making me ache at the pain he went through. "I found them. All five of them."

"Found what?" He turned his head so he was staring out of the window, the sun painting pale oranges and vibrant pinks in the sky like on a canvas, as it set in the west.

"Vampires." His voice was no louder than a whisper now, and even with my perfect hearing, I struggled to catch what he was saying. "Four of them were older vampires, one was a newborn. They were living in the sewers, only coming out during the night. I wasn't expecting anything different. The London sewers were just a hunch; I didn't actually know they were real."

"I guess it was fate..."

"Fate or not, it's what made me who I am today."

"Tell me what happened. You know, I'm not one to judge." He sighed heavily.

"That one night, they weren't under the cover of our streets. They tried hiding themselves in the shadows, but I could see them. I was desperate to do something right in my father's eyes, so I chased after them. I was way ahead of everyone else, stupidly enough, and tried to tackle one of the older ones down. I remember being cornered in the street by two of them. From behind me I could hear screams, growls and cries of sheer panic. I knew then, that that wasn't the norm. I tried to run, but I was tackled by the bigger of the two, he pinned me to the floor where I fought unsuccessfully, to try and get him off of me."

"You didn't deserve what happened to you..."

He cut me off again. "Yes I did. I could've said no, but I didn't. Anyway, I was bitten. I remember that clearly, he bit into me but didn't pull away for a while. I felt the pain, the confusion and the horror, knowing that his blood red eyes were the last thing I'd ever see." I felt my chest tighten.

"What did he – you – do?"

"He ran. There were more people running down the road to where I was with fire torches, I guess that's what scared him away. I knew that if they found me like that, I wouldn't have been here now. If they found me, I would've been killed, so I dragged myself into the shadows, and eventually despite the burning, into a cellar."

"It must've killed. God Carlisle all that pain."

"I didn't know what was happening to me Esme. I was huddled under a pile of potatoes, grinding my teeth to stop myself from screaming. The pain was terrible, for three days it tore my body to pieces, mentally challenging me. I thought I was in hell."

"Never." His lips pulled up slightly.

"When...when I found out what I had become, I was disgusted with myself. The undeniable thirst at the back of my throat was enough proof that I was now a monster. I got up and ran, ran from everything I knew, everyone I loved, afraid that I would kill them all. I didn't know where I was going, but soon enough I found myself excluded from humanity. I self loathed myself Esme, so much even I tried to kill myself." I felt my hand tighten around his.

"How..."

"I tried drowning myself, but I realised we don't need to breath." He looked at me before saying the next thing. "And I tried jumping from great heights." I stared at him, astonished. "When all else failed, I starved myself."

"I can't believe you did that."

"I was lost in my own mind, angry, searching for a way out. I stayed in a cave, far away from any human contact, starving. It had been nearly three months after my change when a group of deer passed me. I was so thirsty, I didn't think of what I was doing. I got up and some instinct, some feral guidance, led me to perform my first hunt. For the first time in my new life, I felt hope. Joy that I was able to sustain myself off of animal blood. I now had a path to follow. From that day, I made a vow to do something good with what I had. Although it was hard, I kept that promise."

"How did you, if you were so unused to human blood, mix with humans?" His eyes locked with mine.

"I was a nomad at first, travelling continuously, never staying in one place for more than a day. My speed gave me an advantage. When I was a year old or so, I noticed the gold tint in my eyes. Slowly with the knowledge that the colour of my eyes was linked to my diet, I began to allow myself human contact. Carefully and little by little, I introduced myself into society again, being careful not to push myself too far. It took me ten long tedious years before I was somewhat comfortable being around humans in big groups."

"That's astonishing. I know if I was in your position, I wouldn't have been able to do the same."

"I guess my Christian self diminished the devil in me. I decided what I was going to do, become a doctor. After all, my enhanced senses would play to my advantage. I was determined to be strong, be useful, and so I set out to make that dream a reality. I went to medical college, and although difficult at times, got my qualifications."

I smiled brightly. "That's amazing." He smiled back.

"Though, I never did stay in England for long. After gaining some qualifications, I swan to France." I nearly choked.

"You _swam _to France?"

"Well, yes, I didn't think it was that shocking."

"Just wasn't expecting it that's all."

"Well, like I said, I swam to France. For a while I travelled, gaining more qualifications as I went and learning new languages. I wasn't happy with what I was – am – but it provided me many opportunities I wouldn't of been able to have before."

"France..." His sullen face was beginning to brighten up. "Tell me more... I mean if you want to that is."

"I went travelling after France, around Europe. I lived in Germany, Spain, Portugal, even Russia. The countries I didn't live in I visited, only briefly. I got to see some of the most amazing places, before I ended up finally, living in Italy."

"Oh... Italy. I remember. The Volturi?" He nodded.

"The Volturi. They were – still are – the most powerful people of our kind."

"What are you saying?"

"They're literally the royal family of the vampire world. Aro, Caius and Marcus, the guard and the wives. They're very powerful in many ways, both physically and mentally. And no-one, no-one goes against them unless they want to die."

"You l-lived with them?" I wasn't sure if he could hear the shock in my voice as clearly as I could.

"Only for a century or so..."

"Did...did you...eat people?"

"No. I would never change my diet, even if I was living with the most powerful vampires in the world. I was bold enough to try and encourage them to change to my lifestyle, but they always thought me weird, I guess. Aro though, thought it was fascinating."

"Why didn't you stay?" His expression saddened.

"I was lonely. For nearly a century, I'd been looking for a mate without any success. The only thing that kept me going was the help my work brought people."

"Where did you go?"

"Oh, I travelled again, not to mention doing medical school, and a course in philosophy."

"I wish I could see these places." He squeezed my hand.

"You will one day, I promise." I could feel a wide grin on my face.

"How did you come to live here? I'm sure Europe would've offered more."

"Ever since I was little, I'd always wanted to visit the "new world." It was a place of opportunity and wealth. My expertise was needed more over there, so I went."

"You swam?" His laugh invaded my thoughts.

"Not this time. I travelled by boat; it took me six to eight weeks to get there. It wasn't a peaceful journey either. Many people were ill as the food supplies went mouldy. I even had to deliver a woman's baby. Trust me that came as quite a shock."

"I'm sure it did. I mean since when do you ever deliver babies on ships?" He laughed again while placing a delicate kiss on my forehead.

"But, once I got there, I was the happiest I could've ever been. People needed doctors and I was a huge asset to the community in which I lived. I could help so many people and that's all that mattered to me."

"I'm sure it was."

"Like in England though, I never really stayed in one place for long. I travelled a lot, searching for others like me. I hadn't had much luck until I got to Denali in Alaska. I was hunting in the forest when I ran into them."

"Who?"

"Three women, sisters, all similar to each other in only two ways. Their skin and their eyes. Not only was their skin ivory in colour, but their eyes weren't what I expected them to be. Their eyes were golden." His featured weren't so tormented anymore, but almost peaceful. "The funny thing was, I wasn't even scared of them. I know I should've been wary, but this time, it was different."

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

"I did for a while. They called themselves the Denali Clan. Tanya was the leader of their coven. The other two were Kate and Irina. They were sisters, literally. It wasn't like staying with other vampires, these three women held so much respect and love for each other, it was a totally new experience for me. From then on, I knew, that if I ever did create or join a coven, I wanted it to be as family based as theirs were."

"I see. Well I can tell you now Carlisle. You've certainly done that, because from the moment I opened my eyes, I knew that you or Edward wouldn't hurt me. I've been accepted into a family, and I thank you for that." He placed a feathery kiss on my right temple.

"I had no objections sweet Esme. You needed me and I needed you." If I could still blush I would've been a tomato by now.

"What made you leave?" I felt his breath on my face as he sighed.

"Work. I could never stay away from the hospital for long; it's what I loved to do, so I went back to travelling. This time though, I didn't move every two years or do, I pushed my luck, staying in cities for nearly up to ten years sometimes. Staying in one city for a long time helped me create a name throughout neighbouring states, especially when I got to Chicago." His voice dipped on the last word so he was whispering again. I heard a soft voice travel up the stairs.

"No, I don't mind."

"Carlisle?" He faced me.

"Edward."

"What about Edward?"

"Do you know why he was changed?"

"No, but Carlisle, I don't see how this fits in..."

"I found him in a hospital in Chicago in 1918; he was a victim of the Spanish Influenza."

"That's terrible."

"Indeed, it is. He'd already lost his father to the illness, and his mother was holding on by a thread."

_I'm so sorry Edward._

Again his voice floated upstairs. "It's not your fault?"

"Edward was in a secluded unit, his mother opposite him in the other side room. She was dying, slowly, but still managed to maintain enough energy to care for him day in, day out."

"I know I would've done the same."

"And I would've as well. But eventually, her health degraded till she couldn't get out of bed. It was heart breaking. Edward was distressed because of his mother, so I stayed with her. She was fading, faster than I expected, but left me one last promise..." He ran his hand through his hair.

"She knew?"

"I'm not sure, but she asked me to do everything in my power to save him. Come the end, I believe she knew something; I'm not sure how much. I couldn't ignore her dying wishes. I had to do something Esme, but how could I take away his humanity? I was lonely yes, but her didn't deserve a life like mine."

"You did the right thing."

"I'm glad someone thinks I did."

Edward was at the door now; I jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Carlisle, you did the right thing. I may not like the fact of what I am, but you didn't do it for you. You did it for my mother, which I will be eternally grateful for, and I'm grateful you gave me a second chance."

"See." I lifted his chin up with my index finger. "You were right to do what you did."

"But I had no rights; after all, I'm not God." Edward walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Carlisle, please, cut those strings that tie you down. You're a good man, a wonderful father and a saviour. You helped us heal, you helped me forgive."

"And" I added from the other side "You let me love again." He smiled a wobbly smile.

"See, you helped us in so many ways Carlisle, and we will never take anything or you for granted."

"I love you both so much. Thank you."

"You have nothing to thank us for. We – I looked at Edward – have everything to thank you for, because even if you are a monster, I am too, and you know what?"

"What?"

"You're the most beautiful monster I know." I brushed his lips with mine, and was lost in bliss of his touch.

**A/N – I know it's taken me AGES to update, and I'm sorry, but I was buried alive with homework.**

**It wasn't the easiest chapter to write, and I'm not completely sure if the information about the Denali coven is right, so sorry if I got it wrong.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you to the people who have left reviews or added me or this story to their favourites list.**

**If you have time, Please Review! Katie1995. **


	15. Mistake

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Mistake**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

The house was extremely quiet. Carlisle had gone out to finalise a few arrangements in town, and yet again, I was left with Esme. I didn't mind it, but I would always manage to catch her off guard, thinking of things I shouldn't be allowed to know. The Volturi thought my gift was wonderful, but to me, it was a pain at times. I didn't need nor want to know her personal thoughts. Esme was trying though, trying hard, to block her thoughts. She practiced a lot, counting like Carlisle, counting in Roman numerals, but she could never hold for long.

Slowly and measured I walked across the hall and into the living room. Esme, like always, was sat by the window looking out across the forest.

"Esme?"

"Edward." I saw her smile at me in her reflection.

"Do you want to hunt?" She twisted her body around, still with a smile on her face and nodded.

"Yes, that would good actually." Even though we'd known each other for nearly two weeks now, times like these were still awkward. Neither one of us never knowing quite what to say to one another.

My tight mouth pulled up into a slight smile. "Okay then. I'll go change my top, meet me down here in 30 seconds?"

"30 seconds it is." I smiled fully this time and raced up the stairs so fast I didn't think I was going to be able to stop myself. Luckily I did, which to my relief meant there wasn't going be another hole in the shape of my body through the wall like there was last time I ran that fast.

I hastily but carefully undid my buttons and placed an old shirt over me. It wouldn't matter if I managed to get blood over it today, I had enough shirts to last me years with the amount Carlisle brought me last night. I slipped out of my trousers and replaced them with an old pair I seemed to have had for ever.

10 seconds left, I ran at the speed of light down the stairs once again, only to be met by Esme's tinkling laughter.

"I think I should tell you, that 30 seconds is way too long for a vampire." I pouted.

"I thought you would need it. I mean, you didn't want to break anything did you. Look what happened to the door knob, and your last two shirts." She hissed, annoyed.

"It isn't my fault I have super human-vampire-whatever-you-call-it strength."

"True." I laughed at her as she crossed her arms and stalked out the room. I knew she was playing; her thoughts gave her away yet again.

"Come on, let's go." She ran out into the crisp night air with me following just a few feet behind. Luckily she'd remembered to slow down slightly.

"Look at the stars." Her face glowed slightly in the light of the moon.

"There's so many."

"I know. It's like someone's splattered white paint on a black background." I watched her face as it went from wonder to happiness. "And I can see them all so clearly, it's truly stunning."

"Truly." There were times like these when I couldn't answer because what she said summed everything up. The stars above twinkling like her eyes, in wonder of the world.

"I've never been able to see so clearly Edward."

"Well you are-

"No Edward, not like that. I've never been able to clearly see where my life was going up until now, and of course, when Harry was born. Never before had I felt I belonged in this world. Everything seems to fit perfectly now, I have a path to follow, I have Carlisle, and I have you." My cold heart melted at her words. "My grief gave me another chance at life, with Carlisle and you. And I know that eternity is a long time, but if I get to spend it with you for the rest of my days, I'll be forever content." I turned around to meet her eyes. It didn't matter what colour they were because to me, she was my mother. I loved her from the first time we were left alone together; when she hurt it hurt me too. I couldn't help ease the pain that she felt, and I wanted to go and kill that bastard, who hurt her, but she didn't want that, and I couldn't go against her.

"Thank you mum" Her smile grew wider and her teeth sparkled.

"Shall we?" She offered me her hand, though it should've been the other way round, and we took off into the green world that awaited us.

"What are we aiming for tonight?" She turned her head as she ran.

"If we're quick enough we might be able to move into the mountain range. There's mountain lion there. It's better than elk or deer, it's more, shall we say, to our taste."

Her eyebrow lifted. "How?"

"Lion cats are carnivores, their blood is more appealing than herbivores is."

"Oh, so that means it'll taste nicer?" I laughed at her question.

"Kind of, but it will never be as good as the one thing we desire."

"Of course, but I won't let myself do it."

"And neither will I." She squeezed my hand.

The momentum we were running at was steady, almost like we were taking a leisurely walk at mid afternoon. Esme didn't make any move to run faster, that's one of the things I liked about her. Nothing was ever done in a rush. She was always organised and did things properly, including hunting. She never rushed the hunt; just left it to play out naturally.

"This way." I pointed my finger towards a river. It ran into the mountain range we were looking for, and attracted a variety of animals.

The river flowed silently, reflecting the lonely moon. Esme was close on my heels, unsure of where to go. In the distance I could start to form the rocks jutting up from the horizon.

"We're nearly there."

"Good, it feels like I've been running for ever."

"Well, you could if you wanted." She playfully hit my arm with a sly smile on her face.

"Come on, race you."

"You're on." Without a moment's notice, she shot off down the river bank, towards the mountain range, I followed running maximum speed, but it still wasn't enough to catch up to her.

I tried to push myself further, but I couldn't. When I finally caught up with her, she was leaning against a cliff face smiling at me.

"You win."

Her petit shoulders shrugged. "I know."

"No need to be sarcastic you know."

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?" Her teeth were gleaming, and I realised, this (including the pillow fight with Carlisle), had been the happiest she'd been since her change.

"So, you want to hunt some lion?"

"Hmmm, yes."

"Right, let's go."

I led the prowl up the ledges of the sheer cliff face, my stance low and ready to pounce, Esme following suite behind me.

"It looks like you've done this before." Her whispers distracted my train of thought.

"Yes, I have, it's one of my favourite places to hunt."

"I must admit, this place is beautiful. I can only imagine what it would look like in the sunset."

"It's something special. The colours it casts are amazing. Vibrant oranges and dark pinks. It's extraordinary."

"I'll have to come back one day." I froze, suddenly aware of the new scent the invaded my nostrils. It wasn't mountain lion, no, something else. I immediately stopped breathing. I knew what it was. It was the one thing we craved for, the one thing Esme had yet to experience. It was human blood.

I swung round to grab Esme in my grip but she was gone. My mind was going wild trying to pin point her thoughts.

_Where's Adam? He said he'd be back. I don't think I can hold on for long. _It was a hiker. I don't know what happened to him, but he'd obviously had an accident.

_What the- _I started running frantically North Easterly so I could get there in time to save him, but even I knew that wasn't a possibility. I turned a corner and into a cave to find the walls covered in blood. Esme was hunched over the corpse lapping up what blood was left.

_NO! _I cursed myself. Why did I always have to be so reckless, so unprepared. How could I let this happen? Just before we left I promised it wouldn't and now look what's happened.

I carefully walked towards Esme. She whipped around in a predatory stance, growling deep in her chest, protecting her kill.

"Esme look at me." I carried on forwards as she dropped lower down, visibly ready to spring. "It's me, Edward." I got a hiss in response so I stopped. "Esme," I put my hands up palms forwards showing I meant no harm "Look. At. Me." She tilted her head and another growl escaped her lips as she pounced on me.

I wrestled her to the ground capturing both her arms behind her back. She struggled around beneath me pulling and tugging, shouting and growling.

"I'm not letting you go." The scent of blood was still strong in the air. Esme started to scream. It was clear she was out of it. The things human blood could do to us. I tightened my grip around her arm so if she were still human, her arms would've been dust by now. "LISTEN TO ME!" I nearly screamed as it came out with such authority. I felt her convulsing body lay still underneath my knees.

"What have I done?" Warily I released my grip on her and pulled her up so she was looking away from the blooded walls and lifeless corpse.

"It wasn't your fault." Her body shook with sobs as her vibrant ruby eyes searched around scared.

"IT WAS! I-I K-KILLED A MAN!" Her sobs turned into pain staking chokes as she realised the horror of what she'd committed.

"Esme, it was NOT your fault, it was _mine._" I felt as her knees buckled underneath her and she fell to the floor. I knelt down beside her cradling her in my arms and rubbing her back.

"I'm a m-monster."

"You are _nothing_ of the sort Esme."

"I KILLED A MAN EDWARD!"

"I know, I_ know_, but it wasn't your fault. The instincts over powered you conscience."

"I d-didn't m-mean to."

"Shhh" Was all I could say. I knew how she felt, the guilt she was going through, and believe me; the comfort I tried in vain to give wouldn't work.

I picked Esme up carefully so I was cradling her in my arms. She held my shirt for support.

"I'm so s-sorry." Her eyes held such pain I had to look away.

Carefully but quickly I broke into a run. The house was lit up in the distance, Carlisle was home.

_Where are they?_

I went faster still carrying Esme as she lay dead in my arms, away from emotion, trying to block out what had happened.

_What am I going to say to Carlisle? Why am I so weak? God, he's going to despise me._

"Carlisle." I said it low enough so Esme wouldn't hear.

The door opened and Carlisle ran towards me, concern etching his features.

"What happened?"

"Everything."

**A/N – Here's another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, Esme needed to slip up at some point, but everyone knows she has a good heart. **

**I just want to say thanks for the reviews, and if you enjoyed this chapter, Review! Thanks Katie1995**


	16. Guilt

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Guilt**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

I saw Edward from the distance, cradling an almost hysterical Esme in his arms. She was in so much pain and it scared me. I thought she was beginning to heal. I didn't stop to think though, my soul mate was in pain and she needed me. I ran outside, the rising sun casting pale oranges in the sky above, making my skin glow ever so slightly.

I walked towards them, trying to keep my calm, but the sobs coming from Esme's broken body were alarming.

"What's happened?" Edward looked at me and then back at Esme before answering.

"Everything." Slowly but carefully I replaced Edward's arms with mine so I was cradling Esme. I knew as soon as she was in my arms what had happened. She'd slipped up, killed a human, her shirt was covered in human blood.

"I'll go back and..." I nodded my approval knowing exactly what he meant. "She didn't mean to."

"I know." He squeezed my shoulder before disappearing into the forest once more.

"Esme?" I received no answer. "Esme, please talk to me darling." The door hung loosely on its hinges from my haste to see what was wrong. I slipped us through the gap and sat her down on the sofa so her head was rested on my shoulder.

"I..." She choked."

"You..."

"C-Carlisle, I c-can't s-say it."

"Esme," – I sighed – "you can tell me anything."

"N-not this."

"Esme, baby, I know what you did."

"Then why do you need me to repeat it?"

"Because I know the guilt you're going through-

"No, you don't. You've never slipped up. That man was innocent!" I was tongue tied. It was true; I'd never slipped up before. How could I understand?

"You know, Edward isn't perfect either."

"But look at me! What happens if I do it again? That man probably had a family, children!"

"It wasn't you fault."

"Yes, Carlisle, it was." I started rubbing her back in a circular motion.

"You couldn't control it. Your instincts over powered you conscience. You weren't yourself." She faced me, her eyes cold.

"You should have just left me to die, Carlisle. That's what I wanted. If I was dead now, then that man wouldn't have died. I would be with me son, and there would be one less monster." I knelt down in front of her, my hands cupping her face.

"NO! Don't you _ever _say that. You've been the best thing that's ever happened to me. And, you are _not _a monster." I was nearly screaming. How could she believe that? She may be a vampire, but she wasn't s _monster._

"Why do you care so much? No-one else does. I should just leave, you'll be better without me, everyone else was." I grabbed her hands and placed them in her lap.

"Because, Esme, if you left I wouldn't be able to go on. If you walked out of that door right now, I would go to Volterra, and I would ask to die, because _you _are my life."

"Why can't you just _hate _me? Why can't you just be angry with me? I KILLED a man Carlisle."

"I know you did. But I also know that you didn't choose to do what you did. That man didn't die because you chose to hurt him. He died because you instincts were too strong to ignore." There was silence for a moment before she got up and walked to the window, silently watching the sun rise.

"It's times like these when I think running away from _him _was the worst option I could have come up with. If I'd stayed with him, I wouldn't have been able to jump of that cliff."

"You regret leaving him? You regret ever seeing me again?" Although I didn't want to make it obvious, what she said cut me deep. She sighed heavily, her grip becoming tighter on the windowsill.

"No. I don't regret _this. _I hate what I've become." I got up off my knees and walked over to stand behind her, snaking my arms around her waist, but she pulled away. "Please, don't."

"Esme, please listen to what I'm saying."

She ran her fingers through her hair. "I know. I know what you're going to say! That it wasn't my fault, that it was my instincts. It still doesn't put this right though, does it?" She dropped her head in her hands.

"No, it doesn't make it right, but I promise this _won't _happen again."

"You don't know that." I grabbed her petite hand in mine.

"I do, because Edward and I are going to help you."

"I can't Carlisle. I'm not as strong as you or Edward. I'll end up killing again."

"You will not." My voice rang with unexpected authority. "Edward and I will help you build your tolerance up to human blood. And when we get to Denali, I'm sure they'll help too."

"You really believe that?" She turned to face me, her features still unreadable.

"Yes. Edward was just like you. He's not perfect now either. His self control isn't as strong as you think it is."

"I don't want to be a monster..." I hugged her to me.

"You're not. That Charles is a monster. Not you. What you did was unintentional, you didn't mean to."

"Can, can I go upstairs. I-I need a new shirt."

"Yes, do you-

"No, I can manage." I nodded as she started to walk away. "Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry." She ran up the stairs, her footsteps echoing in the silence. I was left there for a couple of minutes, re-running everything that had just happened in my head. How could she believe that? How could she believe that no-one loved her? It wasn't her fault. How could I make her see that?

"Carlisle?" Edward made me jump as he walked into the room.

"Edward" I sighed. "I don't know what to say to her." He walked towards me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I know Carlisle. It's hard to comfort someone with something you've never experienced before."

"But Edward, I want to be able to comfort her. I want to be able to help her. It wasn't her fault."

"You're right. It wasn't her fault, but she'll still blame herself."

"But what she said. She didn't want to live. She's here because of my own selfish needs."

"No, Carlisle. What you did was out of compassion. You saved her because you couldn't bear to see her die."

"Even if it was because of that, it was still...wrong."

"What?" Esme stepped through the hallway door and into the living room. "You think I regret being here with you now?"

"Esme, not like that..." She flew over to me in one fluid movement and cupped my face in her hands.

"I've never regretted being her with you now. Never. Carlisle, Edward, you've given me another chance at life. What happened today – last night – was my fault. I know what I am, and although I may not like what I am, I have to prove to myself I can be better than that."

"You will be Esme. I promise, I'll help you."

"I don't want to kill again."

Edward shuffled his feet. "You won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do though, because I know you're determined enough to get past the blood lust. You've got the will to do it Esme."

"I don't know."

"Esme, Carlisle is right. It'll be difficult, I've experienced it, but you'll be able to do it. You've got a big heart and I know the guilt you're feeling is overwhelming, but we won't let it happen again. And neither will you."

"Carlisle?"

"Darling..." she put her finger over my mouth, shushing me.

"I love you." Her hand found mine and our fingers entwined. I hated that man for making Esme feel weak, because I knew that she was one of the strongest people I've met. What happened wasn't her fault and I only wish she could start to see that she was strong enough to stop it happening again.

**A/N – This isn't the greatest chapter I've written. I found it kind of difficult to out some of the stuff I was thinking into writing. **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, please review! Thanks katie1995**


	17. Denali

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Also, I'm from England, so sorry if some of the information about states E.g. Alaska and so on are wrong. I don't know that much geographical information about the American states, so sorry again if what I've written is wrong. Anyways, I'm currently trusting Yahoo answers and Google maps for help...**

**Denali**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Everything that happened after _that _day passed in a blur. Everything that Carlisle strove to achieve had been destroyed by me. His words offered me no comfort, though he tried his hardest to reassure me. I knew it could be done. Edward – Carlisle himself – was enough proof that living off animal blood alone could be achieved. The guilt of...killing someone, was overwhelming. Carlisle was right though, I would better myself. I would _not _knowingly do it again.

"Esme?" I'd been trapped in my own thoughts for too long when I first heard the baritone tone of Carlisle's soft voice. The car's engine was a soft buzzing in the background.

"Carlisle." I sighed. I was mentally exhausted. Sleep was one thing I wished I could do.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm coping... just thinking about things." His hand found mine, our fingers entwining with one another's.

His other hand stroked my cheek gently, but being me, I pulled back slightly. Not because I was afraid of him, but because it was just a reaction. Whenever someone went to touch my face especially, I would always flinch. It was an involuntary reaction I had to learn to get over.

"Esme..."

"It's nothing." I looked back out of the window again, that different jades of the leaves passing by in a blur.

We'd been travelling all day, with the car going at an annoyingly slow speed. We were halfway through Canada at the moment, with Denali, Alaska being our destination. Carlisle's Breathing was soothing me, capturing me in a deep state of relaxation.

"How long till we reach Denali?"

"We're nearly there, just another hour maybe? We're literally crossing the border." I nodded my head at Edward and he smiled back slyly.

"What?"

"Just you on a whole today. Talk about mood swings. I may not be an empath, but your thoughts are everywhere." I cringed a little, still trying to get used to his ability to read minds.

"Sorry." His smile grew, but his eyes were off the road.

"Edward Cullen, keep your eyes on the road!" I heard Carlisle chuckle next to me. Obviously my worry was amusing to him.

"We won't crash." I huffed.

"I know that, but what would happen if we do crash, and there's no casualties? I'd rather you'd concentrate more on the road, you know, to keep us inconspicuous. Car accidents usually contain dead or injured _people._" He laughed again.

"Oh Esme, watch and learn." I folded my arms over my chest, refusing the urge to stick my tongue out like a five year old. Edward was in fits of laughter at the driver's seat.

_I'm glad you think that's funny._

Carlisle was trying to suppress a laugh in the corner of my eye as well.

"Thanks for the support Carlisle." I whispered sarcastically under my breath.

I turned my attention to the road we were driving down. It was dark and dismal, the moon completely covered by the layer of clouds that seemed to smother the sky of its lights. The rain relentlessly pelted down with no sign of stopping.

"Are you alright?" Carlisle's scent almost made me go dizzy as his breath hit my cheek.

"Carlisle, I'm perfectly okay." Edward lifted his eyebrow up at me in the rear view mirror, his laughter now gone.

"You seem quiet, that's all." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm always quiet."

"What I mean is you've hardly said a word since we've gotten in the car."

I sighed. "It's just these past two days have taken a lot out of me. I just need to think..." I felt his thumb rubbing circles on the top of my hand.

I knew I wouldn't have much privacy with Edward in the car, but I knew he wouldn't say anything. Again I let my thoughts wonder to _that _day. That man was unaware he would never make it back alive and it was my fault! My son had been dead a week, barely cold in his grave, and I did that! Edward winced slightly as that thought popped into my mind.

_I'm sorry. _He nodded discretely.

I wondered if he could see me from heaven. What would he think of me? I felt a chill go down my spine.

"Esme..." Edward whispered it so low that Carlisle couldn't hear.

"How long now?" The road in front of us seemed to be forever being stretched. I had to change my train of thought, and the conversation. I didn't want to remember what happened two days ago. My son making that aching in my chest more pronounced.

I didn't really think of him for the pain that I would cause myself if I did. I knew what I was like though, depressed. I didn't want to make people feel awkward around me, nor did I want to make Edward and Carlisle believe I was too fragile to be around. But here I am now, thinking back to what had happened. How he died and why I jumped. When I was left alone, that pain would cause me to double over. I know it isn't fair on Carlisle or Edward, but I don't think I'm able to get over him. His face still fresh in my mind, like someone had permanently sketched it into my brain, his scent still on his baby blanket Carlisle recovered from the hospital for me. I needed to find release, but I couldn't. Everything I saw with my eyes was one more thing more my son never had the chance _to see._

I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to be able to move on. Pain was one thing I ran from while I was still "alive." Pain was my oldest friend and in a way, my greatest ally.

That's what I had come to think over my few last days alive, even when I had my friend's words echoing inside my head. How she told me not to be afraid of the future and what it may hold. How she assured me everything would be alright... In a way she was right, things had turned out...okay, but not before life had tested me to my limits.

"We'll it ever stop raining?" I snapped my eyelids open, unaware that I had closed them. Edward was muttering under his breath.

"I doubt it son, we're in Alaska. The weeks around Summer Solstice are the only weeks this state will see the sun. It's a pretty good location actually. We don't need to be so... wary about appearances."

"True, though I hate the cold..." So did I. I was glad someone agreed with me.

"Well, there's not much we can do about that..."

"How long now?" I was starting to get uncomfortable with the amount of space I had to move in. I didn't like small places.

"Only about 10 more minutes I'd say." 10 minutes? Had I really spent nearly an hour reliving everything I tried so hard to block? Seriously, I swear it wasn't healthy to do what I had just done, because that aching hole in my chest was becoming raw yet again.

Edward caught my eye again in the rear view mirror. His face was thoughtful so I just smiled at him. He replied with a tight smile, but I could tell he wasn't fooled with my appearance.

Carlisle squeezed my hand lightly, placing a delicate kiss on the top of it.

"Carlisle, I'm nervous. What happens if they don't like me?" His golden eyes found burgundy orbs burning with shame as he looked at me. A peaceful smile relaxing his features ever so slightly.

"I'll tell you now Esme, they'll – Tanya especially – will be thrilled to meet you. They're like family to us."

"Are you sure? I mean I don't want to them to feel like I'm intruding." He kissed my hand again.

"You're not intruding what so ever, Esme. After all, they're gaining a new cousin."

"So you're cousins?" To say I was confused was lying.

"In a way, I guess, yes. They're our extended "family."

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"Trust me though Esme, Tanya is a very inviting person. When I wrote to her saying that we were coming over with a new member to our...coven...she was very happy. She said she couldn't wait to meet you."

"So they won't mind?"

"No." I nodded my head slightly, feeling the car slowing at a junction. It didn't go straight on like I had expected it to; instead it turned right, up a hidden mud track.

"They're waiting for us." With that the car made one more turn before stopping outside a medium sized house...well cottage.

Outside there were three women. I guess the Denali coven, with the "leader" of their coven standing as the main point of the triangle. Edward got out and shut the door with a small click, walking over to greet her with a big smile on his face.

"Tanya." I heard him say. "How have you been?" He kissed bother her cheeks lightly.

"I've been well cousin, and you?"

"Let's say half and half." I heard Tanya giggle slightly. Edward walked over to the other two who both had smiles to match Tanya's.

"Are you ready?" I looked up at Carlisle.

"Yes?" He smiled at me once again before getting out of the car and offering me his hand.

I took and unneeded breath before following his lead. I hadn't been this nervous in a long time.

"Carlisle!" Tanya came running towards him with her arms up in the air and finally embracing him in a bone crushing hug.

"Tanya." He smiled down at her.

"Have you been well?"

"Yes, and you?" I could hear a slight twinge of an accent, maybe Russian?

"Yes, though I've faced my fair share of ups and downs this year." She nodded her strawberry blonde hair bouncing lightly as she did.

"And I guess you are Esme." She let go of Carlisle and walked towards me, offering me her hand. I shook it and smiled as she kissed both of my cheeks like she had done with Edward.

"It's nice to meet you." Her wide smile flashed across her face again.

"Carlisle's told me very good things about you." If I could blush I would have.

"The same goes to you."

"I'm glad we finally get to meet you in person, Esme. I can see Carlisle's changed..." She trailed off leaving me to guess what she was going to say.

I watched as she turned her head to her other sisters and bounced back towards them. Her long curls of strawberry Blonde hair falling down to her mid back. As she turned around and ushered her other sister towards me and Carlisle, I saw her eyes. They were golden like Carlisle's, with flecks of brown starting to appear. Her skin was ivory in colour. She was beautiful I must say. I wondered if Edward saw any opportunity in her.

"Carlisle." Another woman walked up to Carlisle, shaking his hand.

"Kate."

"I trust you've been well." I don't know why the asked when they'd heard every word he'd just spoken to Tanya. They probably asked out of politeness.

"I've been...okay. How about yourself?"

"Hmmm, let's say the same as the time you visited." I heard Carlisle chuckle under his breath.

"And this must be your mate." She walked carefully towards me, stopping directly in front of me.

"Yes. Esme, this is Kate." She shook my hand and smiled at me.

"It's nice to finally meet you. Ever since we'd received his letter that you'd be coming with him, everyone's been eager to meet the mysterious new born." I smiled a genuine smile at her.

"It's nice to meet you too." She gave me a small hug before walking over to join Tanya and letting the last sister greet me and Carlisle.

I must admit, she was beautiful. Her hair was long, pale blonde, and as straight as corn silk, gently blowing around her face as the soft night breeze picked up. Her eyes weren't golden, but ochre in colour. Her figure slim but tall. Edward crossed my mind once again. Did any of them appeal to him?

"Irina." Carlisle greeted the last sister warmly.

"Carlisle, it's been too long." She embraced him with a friendly hug.

"I know Irina, far too long."

Like the other two sisters she asked how he had been; only receiving a similar answer that the other sisters had heard.

"You look well if I should say so. Your eyes hold an unfamiliar spark." She nodded towards me with smile on her face, implying something I was unaware to.

"Esme, this is Irina." A woman with chin length silvery blonde hair walked towards me with her arm outstretched.

"Hello." I smiled a small smile in her direction. Unlike the other two, she seemed wiser – warier.

"It's nice to meet you Esme. You've done our cousin a world of good." I looked back over my shoulder at Carlisle who was now talking to Edward by the car.

"Is that so?" She chuckled lightly at my reply.

"Yes. Oh Esme, you should've seen him before you came along. Edward was his companion, yes, but he needed something else. His eyes used to be dull with images of years he'd seen go by. I look at him now and his eyes hold a spark of youthfulness, happiness." I felt myself smiling broadly at what she had just said. "So Esme, I thank you for bringing him happiness."

"It wasn't me..."

"Yes, it was." She linked her arm with mine and walked my up to the porch so we met her sisters.

Tanya looked over to me, linking her arm on my other side.

"It's time you got to know your new home." She opened the door and I was greeted with warmth of _home._

**A/N – This wasn't one of the easiest chapters I've written, but oh well, I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please review, they're much appreciated. Katie 1995 **


	18. Resistance

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Resistance**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

"Esme, are you ready?"

"Nearly. Tanya, could you help me please."

I was stood outside Esme's room, staring at the plain wooden door in front of me. Carlisle was downstairs waiting patiently for both of us to make an appearance.

"Now?"

"Just one more thing, then I'll be out."

"Okay, I'll wait for you by the car."

"Fine."

I walked towards the stairs, the floor boards creaking with my every step. Carlisle was at the foot of the stairs, his arm resting against the banister.

"Carlisle." I clapped his back warmly. The last few days had really taken it out of him.

"Edward. How's Esme doing?"

"She's fine, Carlisle. Tanya's helping her do something up on her dress." He nodded smiling.

"I hope you know that Irina and Kate will be coming with us today." I shot him an incredulous look.

"Why?"

"We need all the help we can get. Esme needs it." I sighed, grimacing at the thought of having to hear what the two women would be thinking.

"Great." He frowned at me as I went towards the front door, opening it.

"I know what they think can be...distracting, but they're good people at heart."

"So distracting is what they call it. I would say more disturb-

"Edward." He warned me. "I know the thoughts you hear may not be very pleasant, but please don't make it obvious. After all, we're in their hospitality and care at the moment.

"Yes father." I saw him smile slightly as I used that term.

"Okay, I'll wait for Esme; you can go on head to the garage." I nodded my head as I swung the door open.

The garage was quite a distance from the house. It used to be used for a small stable, housing around four horses at a time. I must say, the girls did a great job in renovating the place. If you walked in now, you wouldn't have guessed it used to be a stable. Only the high ceiling gave its original structure away.

My baby, as I called it, was gleaming with the white light that hit the glossy paint. I walked up to the auto mobile and ran my hand gently over the paint work.

The car was originally Carlisle's, but he gave it to me when I had begun to attend college. Carlisle's age – well – experience and job had allowed him to purchase a modern, more up to date auto mobile.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, I mean look what happened..." Esme's voice drifted softly into the garage.

"Esme, you have to have some faith. You'll be fine Darling, after all you have Irina, Kate and myself to help you."

"Yes, but when you say "help," I know that you really mean contain." I heard Carlisle sigh as Kate's girlish giggle invaded my thoughts.

"It's not that you're doing anything wrong, we're only trying to help you get used to it."

The four of them walked around the corner. Esme was looking at her feet wringing her hands, Carlisle was rubbing Esme's back and Tanya and Irina were quietly talking to one another.

"Edward." Esme smiled at me. "Thank you for doing this for me." I took her hand as she got into the back of the car with Carlisle by her side. Kate followed after Carlisle, taking the seat next to him. Irina took her place next to me in the passenger's seat.

"It's fine mum, really. I wanted to help you."

I walked around the car and sat in the driver's seat, closing the door with a small click.

"So, where are we going?" Esme's voice was full of worry. I caught her eye in the rear view mirror, and she looked... well...scared.

"Not far. Carlisle knows what he's doing, trust me, I've been in your position before." I visibly saw Esme's muscles relax, even if it was ever so slightly.

"Are you sure about this."

"Esme, look, you'll be going to the outskirts of the city. I promise that's how far we will travel. We're not going to gamble the safety of the town or yourself."

"Just the outskirts?"

"I promise." Carlisle placed a delicate kiss on her forehead as I pulled out of the garage.

I looked at them in the back of the Car. They were both so right for each other. Carlisle's warm and compassionate personality was helping Esme overcome the horror of her past. Esme's kind, caring nature was helping Carlisle come out of his shell. He didn't have to hide his feelings anymore. Both of them were so good for each other in every way possible, and it made me feel content knowing my father finally had someone after all his years alone.

"Turn right at the next junction Edward." Kate's voice dropped me back into reality.

"I know." I saw her put her hands up in a surrender sort of position as she laughed at my answer.

"I was just saying." I smiled back at her. "You never know when you're going to get lost."

"Of course."

I turned the corner to be hit with a hundred new different scents. Esme immediately stiffened in her seat and Carlisle increased his grip around her waist.

"Shhh." Carlisle was stroking Esme's hair as she caught her breath.

"Esme, I know this is difficult for you, but I promise, it will help you to do this." Irina twisted round in her seat to address her.

"You'll be able to do this; after all, there are four of us to...help you if anything happens."

"Kate." I sighed exasperated.

"What?"

"Did you have to put it like that?"

"Oh...sorry. What I mean is that we'll be here to help you overcome the bloodlust?" Her statement came out as a question as she tried to rephrase things.

"That's better." She stuck her tongue out at me before pouting and looking out of the window.

"How long now Edward?" Carlisle was muscles were tensed, but his attitude calm.

"Five minutes max." Esme looked up at Carlisle with her scared doe eyes.

"You can do this."

I rounded the next bend and the scents became stronger. I could smell the morning dew, the wood of the forest and the scent of human blood. I was glad I had tolerance, as the burning at the back of my throat became more pronounced.

"Two more minutes." I pushed my foot down on the accelerator, not wanting to make the anticipation any more painful for Esme.

"What will we do once we're there?" Irina looked absentmindedly of the window.

"We'll wait."

"What do you mean we'll wait?" I slowed the car down to a stop as we reached the very outskirts of the nearest city.

"We'll wait to see what happens." Warily I rolled down my window, letting the scents that were so pronounced to us, flow freely through the car.

Esme's reaction came as expected.

"Carlisle let me go!" I twisted around to see Carlisle pinning Esme to the seat, with the help of Kate.

_It hurts so badly, why can't he just let me go!_

Before I registered what I was doing, I had swung the back door open to talk to Esme.

"Esme, look at me." Her wild eyes searched around to find my voice.

"I need to stop the burning!" She was thrashing around in Carlisle and Kate's iron grip.

"I know Esme. I know you want to stop the burning, but try to remember why you're here." Irina rushed around to the other side to open the door there.

_No-one understands!_

"Everyone understands what you're feeling Esme. Believe me, everyone can feel the burning." Her head shot in my direction.

"Edward's right Esme, the scent of blood makes me uncomfortable as well." Kate was trying in vain to soothe Esme's reaction.

"So why won't you let me go?" Carlisle increased his grip.

"Because you know the consequences if we do let you go. Murder." Irina's word sent a chill down my spine. Esme stopped breathing again, looking at her with scared eyes.

"That's it, just calm down." I grabbed her hand drawing soothing circles on the top of it with my thumb.

"Carlisle?" Recognition began to sink in as she reached out for him.

"I'm here Esme, it's alright." Slowly he took his place next to Esme, Kate giving him wary look.

"Carlisle..."

"I know what I'm doing Kate. Trust me." With that he cupped Esme's cheeks with his hands, making her look at him. "Esme, look at me. I just want you to concentrate on my face okay?" Esme nodded, her fists balling up the material of the seat.

"Kate, sit down please." She shot me an unconvinced look, but did what I said.

"That's it." Carlisle placed his hands on the seat, either side of Esme's body so if she did struggle, she would go into him.

"You sure this is the right thing to do?" I nodded at her, but I was still tense.

"Now Esme, I want you to start breathing again, okay?" She whimpered but nodded. "Trust me Darling." She exhaled shakily and inhaled again, struggling as the waves of scents hit her full force again.

_I can't do this._

"Yes you can Esme." I watched her reactions as she repeated breathing in and out. Carlisle's face invading my vision.

"Carlisle, it's working. She's picturing you, and it's making it easier to concentrate." He smiled slightly.

"Good. Now Esme I'm going to let go of you okay?" She grabbed his shirt, petrified of being let go.

"Don't."

"I'll be here." He entwined his fingers with Esme's.

_Edward let's go, that's enough for one day. _

I tapped Irina's arm as I made my way back to the driver's seat.

"Keep breathing Esme."

"But it burns."

"I know, but you're doing so well, keep it going." I wasn't worried about Carlisle's methods after all, he did the same with me.

I reversed and made my way back onto the main road to the cottage. The scent of Human blood still drifting in the air.

"There we go." I drove faster back then I did going so Esme's discomfort didn't get the better of her.

I saw the cottage in the distance and Tanya's figure stood by the cottage door, waving.

_So I guess it was a success?_

I parked the car just out front of the house, and got out, opening the back doors for both Esme and Kate.

"You could say that." She smiled at me.

"And Esme, are you okay?"

"Half and half."

"That's understandable."

"She did quite well actually, didn't she Irina?" Carlisle piped in.

"Yes, surprisingly well considering her age."

"That's good to hear."

"Definitely. Her resistance will get better over time."

Carlisle walked over to stand next to Tanya.

"Thank you Tanya, for taking us in again. I know it's hard with a new born, but thank you."

"That's what family's for." She skipped over to Esme, stopping in front of her. "And you will build up enough resistance. I know it's hard, but you'll do it. You're a great woman Esme, just remember that." She simply put an arm around Esme's shoulder, leading her into the front room.

Tanya was right. Esme was an amazing woman. All she needed now was courage.

**A/N – It feels to me like it's been ages since I last updated, so SORRY about that.**

**Anyways, if you liked this chapter, ****please review.**** They make my day!**

**P.S. Also I'm thinking of doing another story like this after I finish this one, but it's going to be about Rosalie's change her story with Emmett. Do you think that's a good idea? I'd love to hear from you! Katie1995.**


	19. The Denali Sisters

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**The Denali Sisters.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

"So Esme, where do you originally come from?" Tanya was sat opposite me in front room, the fire blazing in front of us.

"Me?" I cleared my throat, leaning back into Carlisle. "I was born in 1895, in Columbus, Ohio."

"Really?" Kate chipped in from my other side.

"Yes."

"So why were you in Ashland?"

"I-I had...problems at home."

"Problems?" Irina looked quizzically at me.

"It's complicated." Carlisle kissed my hair, pulling me into him.

"We can listen."

I sighed, closing my eyes. "My...husband caused..." I trailed off, not wanting to remember him. "I moved to Ashland when I found out I was pregnant." Kate gasped and looked at me sympathetically.

"Oh."

"Yes, well, my baby died a few days after birth."

"I'm sorry." Tanya reached forwards to rub my arm. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it.

"Things happen for a reason, Tanya."

"Carlisle, how did you find her?" I felt his arms tighten around my waist.

"Fate." Tanya's lips pulled up into a soft smile.

"You two are made for each other." Kate was grinning at us.

"You really believe that?"

"Obviously, it's the way you two act together. You're so in tune with one another. It's something so special." I smiled widely, looking up to Carlisle as he nuzzled his nose with mine.

"Thank you Kate."

"Why are you thanking me? You've found your soul mate." Carlisle smiled into my hair.

"How about you?" Irina sighed.

"You really want to know?"

"Only if you're willing to tell me." She smiled at me.

"Fine, I guess I should start at the beginning. I'm originally from Slovakia. I was born many, many years ago Esme, before Carlisle even existed. Like you now, I was created by someone who became my family." I nodded, smiling at her; I didn't want to be rude and as when she was born. After all, when I found out what year Carlisle was born, I was shocked. I couldn't imagine how old she would be.

"Who was it?"

"Her name was Sasha. She was a mother to me – to us – like you are to Edward." She smiled at the memory, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Family is important."

"Indeed, it is. Whether you're a human or a vampire, family is something we need."

"So it is." Carlisle breath hit my cheek, making me dizzy yet again. I loved this man so much.

"Is she-

"No, like you, we lost a family member."

"Irina, I'm sorry." She laughed almost bitterly.

"It wasn't supposed to be that way Esme. She ruined it for herself. Her death was her own doing."

"Irina." Kate gasped. "You really believe that?"

"Well I'd like to see you explain it better."

"Fine. I will." She cleared her throat before beginning.

"Before I tell you about what happened to our...mother...I would like to tell you about me, if that's okay with you."

"Go ahead."

"Like Irina, I was born in Slovakia nearly 921 years ago." I nearly choked.

"W-what?"

Her white teeth were gleaming as her smile stretch from cheek to cheek. "I was changed around 1000AD, by a woman named Sasha. Although people call me Kate, my full name is Katrina."

"O-okay." Carlisle chuckled in my ear, and so did Edward who was sat next to Tanya.

_Oh, of course I forgot, it's not surprising at all. It's perfectly __**normal.**_

Edward started to laugh harder. "Well...it...is... if...you're...a...vampire." He managed to get out between gasps.

"One minute." He was still shaking in his seat, as was Carlisle. "Just...let...me...shut...up."

Tanya had a mischievous look in her eye.

"Well?" Edwards chuckling was starting to annoy me.

"Well, Sasha became my mother and Irina my sister, along with Tanya. You see, we were all created around the same time as each other."

"So you're...related?"

"No, not biologically, but we think as each other as sisters. That's why we're a _family._ Sasha thought it was important to find not just companionship, but a balance between the two."

"I understand."

"Sasha was an important person in our lives, she helped us through the change and she helped us to adjust to our new lives."

"Yeah, before she went and ruined it all."

"Irina, please. You miss her as well as we do, and don't deny it." I heard her huff from behind me.

"What did she do?" The mood suddenly got darker, tension building up in the air.

"When we arrived in America, she..."

"Kate, do you want me to take over?" Tanya looked at her sister in the eye; all traces of humour were gone.

"If you want." She squeezed Kate's shoulder before starting.

"You already know where I'm from and how old I am. But do you know anything about immortal children?"

I looked up at Carlisle. His brow was pulled up into a frown.

"No."

"I guessed so. Tut, tut Carlisle, I would've thought you'd had told her by now."

"It didn't cross my mind."

"Esme, you know that you will live forever don't you?"

"Well of course."

"You see, that is the problem with immortal children."

"I don't understand..."

"What I mean Esme, is that the one secret we abide by, the one thing the Volturi want is that we keep our existence a secret. Immortal children can't do this."

"Oh."

"In the past Esme, vampires were creating immortal children. Not only did it affect the human population, but that of the vampire population as well."

"How?" I whispered. Carlisle kissed my hair again, rubbing my arm.

"No-one could control them. Once they were created, no-one could tell them what to do, especially with toddlers. They could be as young as three or four years old and they could destroy whole villages in a blink of an eye."

"I..."

"It's hard to believe without experiencing it first hand, but the effects were devastating. The Volturi made it clear that our existence should be kept inconspicuous, the immortal children were uncovering our secret, and that wasn't allowed."

"W-what happened?"

"When the Volturi had found out about their existence, they hunted them down and killed them. Our existence was at stake and so they were determined to make sure it was put right. Whole covens were killed if found guilty of protecting an immortal child."

"Yes, they made sure it was put back perfectly right, didn't they?"

"Irina, please."

"She shouldn't have done it..." I heard her mutter under her breath, as so did Edward, who immediately stiffened in his seat.

_Are you okay?_

He nodded in my direction, but I wasn't fooled.

"Sasha, although unknown to us, had done such a thing." I gasped and looked up at Carlisle, but his expression was hard.

"Tanya, I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

"Esme, you can't be sorry for something that wasn't you fault."

"Was she..."

"Yes, she was found out. The Volturi executed her and the child, Vasilii. We were only aware of the child as we watched her execution take place, as we watched her burn while she held the child in her arms, cradling it."

"I'm so sorry for your loss." I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"Like I said, it's in the past, but I'll tell you what we gained from the experience. Respect. Respect for our existence and our law."

"It's understandable." I looked over at Kate; the expression in her eyes was distant.

"It was stupid and irresponsible, she knew-

"I know Irina, we all do, but we can't change what's happened. Look forwards to the future." Irina snorted, getting up and walking over the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"Hunting. I'll be back before dawn." She flew out the door silently with the door closing lightly behind her.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine, just...upset. She doesn't like to remember or talk about it. Although she may seem angry about what happened, deep down she's upset. We all miss her, but I don't think Irina can let it go. When I say she was like our mother, she really was a mother to us."

"Of course, I understand where she's coming from."

"Anyway, after the death of Sasha, we held a healthy respect for the law. We weren't yet vegetarians, but we were careful about how we went about our business."

"Then how did you become vegetarians?"

"That Esme is a whole different story."

**A/N – YAY! 100+ reviews, and I couldn't do it without you guys, so a BIG THANK YOU! **

**This chapter was one of the hardest to right so far, all I can hope is that I did a good job in writing this chapter.**

**If you enjoyed it, please review. Thanks Katie1995.**

_**Special thanks to:**_

**Just4me**

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**Xoxlolxox**

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**Milene Lira**

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**Sha711**

**Kykio88**

**Riverpebble**


	20. Repetition

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Repetition**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

We found Irina by the river, looking at her own reflection. She hadn't come back in the morning like she said; instead she was gone for all of the next day and most of the night. Her sisters were getting anxious and because of the rain earlier today it made it that much harder to track her.

"Irina?" Kate walked carefully up to her sister, Esme held my hand as she watched her. "Please, come home."

"I will, I promise. I'm not going to leave you." Irina looked up as Kate placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Promise?"

"I promise, now go on without me, you and Tanya are helping Esme today." I heard Esme sigh as she shuffled her feet beside me.

Irina erected herself from her crouched position and walked over to Esme, lifting her chin up with her index finger.

"I take it you're lacking in faith at the moment."

"Irina, I can't do it."

"Yes Esme, you can."

"Can't you come too?"

"No, no, I have things to do."

"You will come home though, won't you?" Esme grabbed her hand as she went to walk away, making me marvel at how trustworthy both Esme and the sisters had become in the last past couple of days. She was family now, not just to us – me and Edward – but to the sisters as well.

"Yes, I will. And when you get back, you can tell me how your day went." Esme nodded her head once as Irina broke into a run.

"Irina!" Tanya called from behind me.

"I'll meet you back at the cottage." With that she simply disappeared into the emerald forest.

_Edward?_ I looked over at my son, his face wiped of any emotions.

"She's just thinking."

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine Esme." Edward walked towards her, squeezing her shoulder.

"Is she angry with us?"

"No Kate, not angry, how could she be with sisters like you?"

"I just..."

"Don't worry Kate, please, she'll come home." Although Kate's features were scared, she shakily nodded her head.

"I believe you."

"Thank you, Kate. Shall we?" Edward offered her his hand and she took it, smiling up at Edward.

Esme and I followed on behind the three of them, her fingers entwined with mine as we lazily walked along the river side. Her hair fell softly around her face and her eyes – even although they were red – sparkled like rubies as the sun broke the clouds. Esme. My Esme, the woman who I needed was finally by my side, and she always would be.

"Carlisle, don't you think this is a bit too much?" I looked down at the delicate creature by my side.

"No Darling. It will help in the long run, believe me." She rose up onto her tip toes and pecked me on the cheek.

"I've never met someone with so much faith." Her teeth gleamed as a wide smile replaced her frown.

"It's something we all have to have."

The garage loomed in front of us, the car along with Edward, Kate and Tanya was inside.

"Are you ready?"

"It depends what you mean by ready." I chuckled as I pulled her into my embrace, cupping both her cheeks in my hands I leant down to kiss her.

"Carlisle?" Edward, ruined the moment. "Sorry, but..."

"I know." Esme pulled away from me, pushing herself against my chest while grabbing my other hand.

"If I'm going to get through this, we'd better go."

"Ladies first."

I followed her into the garage, holding the car door open as she elegantly got in with me following in after her. Tanya was sat in the back with us and much to Edward's joy Tanya was sat next to him.

"Please tell me it will be the same as last time."

I stoked her hair to calm her down. "It will be the same, I promise. Just this time will be an inch closer to the city."

"An inch, you're that precise?" Her vulnerable eyes locked with mine.

"Well, we'll be slightly closer this time."

"Carlisle, I don't know."

"Esme, we're here for you. We won't let anything happen, trust me." Kate grabbed her other hand.

"I do, it's just I'm not as strong as you."

"And what makes you say that?"

"I've never been strong, physically or mentally."

"Well actually Esme, you have." Tanya twisted round in her seat.

Esme just scoffed. "How?"

"You've done it before, that's how."

The car engine burst into life as we pulled out of the garage. Edward carefully manoeuvring the car out of the entrance.

Once we got going, nerves seemed to die down slightly, everyone's except Esme's. Her hand was clenched around mine as we neared the main road.

"Carlisle, please no further."

"Esme, darling, trust me. Just keep looking at me and breathe." Her curls bounced as she nodded her head.

"We're nearly there Carlisle, just a few more minutes." Kate increased her grip on Esme's hand and arm as I did the same on the other side.

"That's it, keep breathing." Tanya gave me a puzzled look. "Don't worry Tanya, I've done this before."

The car automatically slowed as we rounded the corner, the houses that made up the village outside of the main town were visible from the top of the hill we were on. Edward drove carefully, inching the car further until we reached the limit we dared to go. Esme's reaction was expected both by me and Kate, although it was more controlled than last time.

"Esme, stop thrashing about, it won't help you." Tanya was trying hard to calm my love's instincts.

"I-I can't, it burns so badly."

"I know darling, but you can do this." Kate piped up from my other side.

"They're right Esme, they're right. Listen to them."

"I need it."

"I know you do, but believe me, you won't be able to face the consequences."

"Edward, please!"

"Shhh, Esme, this will _help _you."

"I'm trying, but I can't."

"You're doing brilliantly, keep it going." Edward had his hands on her shoulders, containing her further.

I warily sat down next to her, signalling Kate to do the same; she complied, but like me, still tensed.

"Now Esme, I want you to picture me okay?"

"Yes?"

"There we go." I slowly unclenched her hand from mine.

"No!"

"You can do this." I freed my hand from her grip, watching as she balled the material of the seat in her hands.

"Please, can we just go?"

"Another couple of minutes." She whimpered and it hurt. It hurt a lot to see her in so much pain, but I knew it was the best thing for her. "I'm sorry love."

"It's. Not. Your. Fault." She managed to get out between clenched teeth.

"It is." I whispered.

Edward squeezed my shoulder in support as I watched my most treasured belonging hurt in the hardest way.

"Please." She whispered. "Can we go?"

"Just one more minute." She was physically shaking now, and I was too, even if Edward was trying to calm me.

"Carlisle?" Tanya locked her eyes with mine. "I think it's time to go."

"I think you're right." The sound of doors closing was all I could hear.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry Esme."

"This is good for me, repetition's good for me."

"You will get better." She snuggled in closer to me as I kissed her hair, breathing in her scent.

"How many more times do I have to do this?"

"Until you're safe enough to be around humans."

"And when will that be?"

"I don't know." The car turned the last bend to meet Irina. She was standing by the door, ready to welcome her family home – old and new.

**A/N – This chapter is continuing Esme's resistance against her thirst for human blood. I really hope I managed to convey it properly.**

**If you enjoyed it, please review! Thanks Katie1995**


	21. Changed

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Changed**

**Esme's P.O.V. **

**(**_**6 months old):**_

My reflection stared back at me as I looked out to the horizon. The sky was alight with reds, pinks and oranges as the sun set in the west. I saw my mouth pull up into a soft smile as I watched the clouds being painted. My skin sparkled slightly as the sun cast its last rays across the sky. My eyes immediately mesmerised by the patterns it made, which reminded me. I look up at my reflection again, beaming widely at my achievement. My eyes were finally changing. It took half a year and three slips, but finally, the red was beginning to fade into a faint yellowy-orange. I knew I still had a long way to go, but at least I was making progress.

"Esme." Carlisle embraced me in his arms as he kissed my hair. I breathed in his scent, bathing in the wonderful smell.

"I missed you." I saw him smile as he sat beside me on the windowsill, my sewing on my lap.

"Hospitals can't run themselves."

"I know, but it was too long." He chuckled lightly.

"Really?" He said sarcastically.

"Yes."

"Okay then, how about I tell you that I now have week off."

"A week?"

"Yes, a week. Now I don't need to leave your side." He kissed my hair again as I found his hand.

"What did I do to deserve someone like you?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing. You don't deserve someone like me, because that someone like me needed that someone like you to survive." I smiled at his evaluation.

"I love you." He pulled me into him, our bodies moulding together to make a perfect shape.

Love, it was a funny thing. Love was never simple, yet it was always there. Love for friends, love for family, love for children and love for partners. I'd experienced all of what love had to teach me and although it was a harsh lesson, I never let it defeat me.

Number one; there were my dearest friends, Margaret and Anna, who were replaced with Carlisle and Edward.

Number two; there was my old family, replaced with the one I now held dear in my heart. Carlisle, Edward and the Denali sisters, they were my family now.

Number three; my baby boy who I would never forget. I had Edward and the pain eased slightly, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

And finally, number four; I had Carlisle, my rock, my saviour and my personal angel. He was always there, comforting and protecting me.

I had finally found out what real love felt like.

"What you thinking about, love?" He nuzzled my hair, smiling into it.

"Nothing."

"I can tell you're thinking about something..."

"How exactly?"

"By the way you make that face when you think."

"What face?"

"This face." His brow furrowed together as he pursed his lips together. I poked him on the shoulder as he continued to make fun out of me.

"I look like that, do I?" He laughed at me.

"Yes, you really do."

"Thanks?"

"My pleasure." I pushed back further into him as he placed his arms around my waist.

"You want to know what I was thinking about?"

"Yes." I sighed as he tightened his grip.

"Let me think...you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I was thinking about my life, how everything's changed."

"Changed?" I nodded, smiling softly as the dark red clouds turned into pale-dark purples.

"I was broken Carlisle, broken. You found me, and you fixed me. I'm not the same as I was before."

"You weren't broken." I shot him an unconvinced look.

"Yes I was, I was broken and I was afraid."

"Afraid?" I sighed as I tried to word things properly.

"Do you remember when I first woke up?"

"Yes..."

"Do remember how I acted?"

"I do."

"See, I was afraid. I was frightened of you and Edward." I chuckled slightly as the memory replayed in my head. I shouldn't have been scared. "And I shouldn't have been. But I was, and look at me now." His eyes searched around my face as I kissed him on the forehead.

"Scared, you mean?"

"I didn't know where I was, or who I was. Unfamiliarity unnerved me."

"I..."

"You taught me I wasn't meant to be scared of you, or Edward. My life before, and even though some memories are – were – vague, caused my responses to stay the same. You taught me confidence, how to grow as a person – well vampire – and most importantly, you taught me how to love. You fixed me physically and mentally. He's fading and it's because you're helping chase bad memories away." I squealed suddenly as he pulled me up so I was sitting on his lap.

"I've taught you all those things?"

"Yes, the person I am now, you helped mould."

"You're sure about that."

"Positive." I twisted myself round so I was facing him. I ran my hands through his silky blonde hair, leaning in towards him so our foreheads were touching, causing the gap between us to disappear. His response was urgent.

I felt myself backing up against the wall behind me as I let our kiss deepen. My hands ran over his chest, his muscles defined by his shirt. I could only imagine what he would look like with it off. I felt him do the same as he ran his hand down my arm, his other through my hair. I felt his tongue ask for permission so I opened my mouth slightly, shivering as our tongues danced together, tasting each other. And he tasted amazing, like honey and vanilla, but a thousand times better. He rubbed against me, our hips grinding together, causing me to moan as we continued our moment of utter passion.

"Carlisle." I mumbled as he continued his ritual.

"Esme." He responded breathlessly. He trailed hot kissed from my jaw line and down my neck, stopping at me moon arched scar to place a delicate kiss. I balled his shirt up in my fists as he continued downwards to my collar bone.

"I...love...you." I felt his hands on my waist as he held me firmly but gently.

He suddenly picked me up so I was further forwards on his lap, our chests completely connected. I cupped his face, as I looked into his eyes. He closed the gap again, our lips meeting again.

"Ca...r...lisle." I pushed against his chest to look at him, our heavy breathing was all you could hear.

"Esme." I fell forwards, my head resting on his shoulder. I hated to be the one to break these moments up, but I wanted to save it for after we were married. We hadn't talked much about it, but Edward had mentioned that Carlisle was...thinking. I needed him, more of him every day, and it was getting unbearable to not be able to take things further, but I was traditional, and so was he.

"Thank you for finding me." The sky was black as the stars twinkled delicately above.

"It was an honour Esme Anne Platt...Cullen."

"Cullen..." I whispered. He grasped my hand kissing the top of it.

"Forever and always." If I could cry I was sure I would have had "happy" tears running down my cheeks by now.

"And this." I put two fingers around my gold wedding band. "Needs to go."

"Where?"

"I have an idea." I got off the windowsill, leading him up with my hand.

"Where are you going?"

"Where are _we _going? Oh, just somewhere where I can dispose of it."

"And where exactly is this place?"

"Follow me and we'll see."

I walked towards the hall way where my coat was hung over the banister. I had my hand in Carlisle's as I walked him towards it.

"Here you go madam." He held my coat up for me, as I slipped my arms through the sleeves.

"Thank you sir."

"At your service." I hit his chest playfully.

"Come on." I walked outside into the crisp night air. It was silly wearing a coat when I had no need for it, but it was habit.

"Where are we going?" He found my hand.

"We're saying goodbye to the past." I broke into a run with him by my side, the way it should have always been.

I knew the lake was only about 5 miles north of the cottage. Edward had mentioned it before he went hunting with the Denali's this evening. It was huge according to him and like the lake I had tried to end my life with, it provided cliffs. I felt a chill go down my spine but as I looked over at Carlisle, I realised that that day was first day of the rest of my life.

As the lake got closer, release got nearer.

"You're going for a swim?" I nearly lost it as laughter over took me.

"No, unless...you...want...to."

"We could." I raised an eyebrow.

"When?"

"Whenever you like."

"Don't you think it's a bit odd?"

"No, I've done it plenty of times before." I nodded my head as he smiled cheekily in my direction.

"Okay." The banter continued until the lake was in site. There was a familiar feeling, like I had been here before, and I knew why. Déjà vu knocked me back a few steps as I tried to contain the rush of emotions flowing through my body.

I slowed my pace down as I walked to the edge of the lake, Carlisle pulled back so he was stood behind me. I took the ring off my forth finger on my left hand and twirled it around in my fingers. I inhaled deeply, trying not to get angry at the man who plagued my life.

"You ruined my life for far too long, and now it's time to forget you. I won't let you ruin me now or in the future. You are nothing to me anymore and I don't need to remember you. So I say goodbye, goodbye to all the bad memories you gave me, all the scars you gave me and all the hate you had for me. I won't let you destroy me again." I threw the ring far out onto the lake, watching as it skimmed the water before disappearing under the watery depths below.

"Esme?"

"I'm ready." I walked back towards him as he kissed my forehead. Things had changed and finally, I had found release.

**A/N – So yeah, I would say this chapter was, er, more...risky...than the others...**

**I wanted to show Esme as a stronger person and I needed to take Esme and Carlisle's relationship to the next level.**

**A BIG thank you to those who have left such kind and constructive reviews. Also thank you to those who have added this/me to their favourites lists. It means a lot.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, please review. Thanks Katie1995.**


	22. Ring

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Ring**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

I watched as Esme threw the ring out far into the sparkling lake. Her skin glowed slightly in the sunrise. She stood there silently, watching it skim over the water until it was lost forever. She had a peaceful smile on her face.

"Esme?" She turned at the sound of my voice, walking towards me.

"I'm ready." I took her hand in mine again as we turned back towards the cottage.

The wind had changed direction; I picked up Edward's scent as we ran side by side.

"It looks like they're back."

"Yes, it does." Her wide smile blinded me as I looked into her eyes.

We passed the garage and voices became clearer. Tanya was talking to Irina and Kate was talking to Edward. It sounded like it was a successful hunt.

"There they are." Edward came into view, standing next to Kate. I stopped, along with Esme, in front of the two.

"We wondered where you were." She had a cheeky grin on her face.

"Not like that..." Edward sighed. I rolled my eyes as I realised what Edward had heard, Esme laughed by my side.

_Awkward. _Edward's lips twitched slightly.

"What were you doing?" Tanya questioned, oblivious to privacy. Then again, it was her to say something like that.

"Saying goodbye." Esme replied beaming.

"To what?"

"This." She raised her left hand in the air wiggling her fingers.

"Good for you." Irina clapped her shoulder.

_Did you explain why she was so...nervous? _Edward nodded once in my direction.

_When?_

"Months ago." His whisper was nearly non-existent as he tried to keep our one sided conversation unnoticeable.

_Did you tell them everything, I mean, about __**him**__? _He nodded again.

_Their reaction was?_

"Well...disbelieving, angry, upset..." I nodded my acknowledgement.

_Understandable._

"Yes."

I look back over my shoulder to see my hopefully soon to be wife, chatting to Tanya on the swing bench underneath the willow tree. She'd changed so much since the first few moments of this life. Confidence, although it was still wavering at times, shined through in her personality. This was my opportunity.

"Edward?" He took his place next to me.

"Yes?"

"Will you come to town with me?"

"Why?"

_Engagement ring?_

"Let's go." I smiled at him as he went to get the automobile.

My mate was soon to be my wife. No longer did she have to live by memories of her old husband, instead she was able to create new memories with me. I was soon to be her _husband, _soon to be her protector.

"Esme?" Her head shot up in my direction.

"Yes?" I walked over to her, my scarf in my hands.

"I'm going out for a couple of hours; I'll be back by 10."

"Why?" Her hand found mine as her eyes sparked with worry.

"The hospital called, one of the doctors has fallen ill."

"Oh..."

"I know I said I had a week off, but there's no-one else."

"No, I understand."

"Esme..."

"Go." She hit my shoulder playfully, giving me a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back.

I broke into a run, hitting the fringe of the forest and meeting Edward on the dust track turning onto the main road.

"What took you so long?"

"Esme." He smiled widely before I took my place next to him.

"So, what have you got in mind?" I ran my hand through my hair.

"Something that reflects her personality."

"Hmmm..."

"What?"

"How about sapphire?"

"No, I don't think it suits her."

"Ruby?"

"No, too newbornish."

"Onyx?" I shook my head, colours running though my head until one stuck in my mind.

"Why that colour?"

"Because if it was one thing that captivated me when I saw her for the first time, it was her eyes."

He smiled as he continued concentrating on the road ahead. The turn that led us into town was coming up.

"Right?"

"Right." I directed.

"Where's the jewellery shop?" I gave him a questioning look.

"I thought you would know."

"I don't go into town that often..."

"Then what-

"I go hunting, run in the forest, it gives me serenity."

"The forest is the best place to think." The car slowed down as the jewellery shop came into view.

"Here we go." Edward pulled into a parking slot. Rain pelted down from the skies above. It didn't matter though, because the only sunshine I needed was waiting for me.

"Ready?"

"Yes. Let's go."

My reflection stared back at me as I looked at the display through the shop window. Rings were everywhere, but I still hadn't found _that _ring.

"How about th-

"Hello kind sirs, would you like to come in?" I didn't see the shop keeper as he popped his head out of the door. "I'm sure you are here for a very special woman, are you not?" I smiled at him.

"Yes, yes we – well – I am." I shook his hand. "I'm Carlisle; it's nice to meet you." He smiled back at me as Edward bowed his head.

"I'm Edward."

"Edward..." He repeated. "Oh the Cullen's. How nice it is to finally meet you."

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you too."

"You treated my wife last week if you remember. She cut herself on a glass jar after it smashed." Edward grimaced beside me.

"Oh yes, I remember. How's she doing?"

"She's doing great thanks to your expert hand." If I could blush this would've been the moment.

"I'm glad I could help, it's nice to know she's okay." He clapped his hands together.

"Right, come on in." I followed the balding man into the shop, his glasses on top of his head. "Right, what can I do for you two?" I rubbed my neck sheepishly.

"I'm looking for an engagement ring?" His smile became wider as his eyes shone with delight.

"You've finally found that someone have you?" I shuffled my feet, chuckling slightly as I answered.

"Yes, finally."

"What's her name?"

"Esme."

"Esme. That's a pretty name for I expect, a very pretty woman."

"Indeed, she's beautiful. Her eyes, well you could lose yourself in them and her heart shaped face is full of tender loving care. Her hair just falls like silk over her shoulders and when she smiles she has the cutest dimples..." I heard Edward cough next to me.

"I can tell you love her, and I'm happy for you Mr. Cullen, you deserve happiness."

"Thank you." I followed his stare to a row of engagement rings, lined up in colour order.

"So sir, what colour – if you want a colour at all – are you looking for?"

My answer was straight and final. "Emerald."

"Emerald, very pretty indeed." I watched as his hand float above three rings.

"These are the best quality rings I have, but, they are the most expensive." I sighed, walking over to examine them more clearly.

The first one was ridiculously big; the cut jewel just looked unbalanced in proportion to the gold band.

"No." I heard Edward whisper in my ear.

"Agreed, it just too...vulgar?" He nodded again as I put the ring back in its box.

"Sorry."

"That's alright, how about this one?" I delicately took it from him, twirling the gold band between my fingers.

This ring was small in size, just right for her slender fingers, but the emerald itself was lacking in...sparkle. Unlike the first emerald though, this one was just too small and the green looked like a little dot engraved in the band.

"I don't know."

"I don't think it's her." Edward chipped in.

"Really?"

"Yes, you need one that...words can't describe." My lips pulled up into a soft smile.

"Not this one either."

"That's alright sir." He smiled at me as he put it back in the box. "How about this one?"

He carefully handed me the box. "It's the most expensive..."

"No, it's fine." I assured.

"Okay then."

I opened the lid up, viewing the ring with a sense of awe. The ring itself was absolutely perfect in size and it would fit her finger just right, my memory didn't fail me.

I heard Edward chuckle as the memory of me measuring her finger came into mind. For once I was glad she hadn't thought it was weird. Delicate kisses down her arm and wrist, the perfect way how not to be suspicious.

I looked back down at the ring, my fingers brushing over the jewel.

The emerald was cut just how the doctor ordered, well searched for, and it caught the light in all the right places, sending sparkles, like her skin in the sun, around the small room. The colour was the exact shade of green her eyes had been when she was human and it made me smile, knowing she'd still have that connection.

"Is this _the_ _one?" _Edward whispered in my ear.

I could feel my smile stretching from ear to ear as I answered. "Yes."

"Good choice, I couldn't have described her better myself." Edward continued. "It catches her personality wonderfully. The way it shines, and how it's just right, not too big or too small." I continued my goofy smile.

"Will it be this one?" The jeweller asked.

"Yes, yes it will."

"Great, I'll just prepare it for you."

The man took it with him to the counter, placing it in the velvet cushioned box, before closing the lid on Esme's surprise.

"That will be £899, sorry."

"No, that's fine." I paid with a cheque, grinning as he handed me the small box. I placed it in my coat pocket, patting it as I let my hand fall.

"Thank you for your time." I shook the jeweller's hand as I walked through the door.

"Thank _you _for your purchase."

"My pleasure." I waved at him a final time before getting back in the car.

Finally, the first part of my surprise was sorted, the second part? Proposal.

**A/N – Sorry I've been so long updating but fanfiction's had errors and I've also had dance shows...**

**Anyway, if you enjoyed this chapter, please review, the next chapter will hopefully (fingers crossed) be the proposal.**

**Thanks for the reviews so far! Katie1995**


	23. Proposal

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Proposal**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

I watched Carlisle closely as he finished off his paper work, signing his name in the most delicate script. His usually swept back hair was messy and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top. He looked perfect even now, when his hair was around his face and his shirt was undone, he still looked like perfection.

I prowled my way over, tiptoeing before jumping on his lap as his arms snaked around my waist.

"Esme..." He grabbed my hand planting a delicate kiss on the top.

"Carlisle, you look stressed." He chuckled, his eyes sparkling.

"I'm not stressed darling." I ran my hand through his hair, kissing the tip of his nose.

"No?" He placed another chaste kiss on my cheek.

"No, but I would like you to accompany me to the lake." I looked at him dumbfounded.

"Why?" His hand ran through my hair, our foreheads touching.

"Trust me." I stood up next to him. He cupped my cheek, his eyes saying a silent "I love you" before going into his bedroom.

Not going in after him was hard – well – any amount of time without him was hard. Still, I waited for a long five minutes until he reappeared. His hair was combed back into its usual style and he had changed his shirt. Carlisle Cullen was the definition for beautiful, for, I was sure, no-one could compare to his beauty.

"Darling, would you pass me my coat." I unhooked it from the hanger, handing it to him as he sat back down at his desk. I rubbed his tense shoulders, his muscles relaxing slightly.

"Please tell me what's going on." He smiled again.

"Where's the fun in that." I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out like a little girl. I would found out soon enough. "Ladies first." He held the door open with one hand, my coat was over his other arm.

"Thank you."

"Going somewhere?" Edward had his hand outstretched so he was touching the other side of the wall. He had a slight smirk on his face as stared at Carlisle.

"Just going to get some fresh air." I piped up. I grabbed Carlisle's hand and turned for the door, but I didn't miss the nod he gave in Carlisle's direction. He knew. He knew what I so desperately needed to know.

Carlisle held the door open for me as I made my way out into the diminishing night. The far sky was turning into a show of dark purples and the stars were vanishing one by one.

"Esme?" He offered me his arm which of course, I gladly took.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I told you."

"But why?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." I sighed annoyed. "Come on."

He started picking up the pace so we were running. I viewed the figure that ran by my side. He was, again, insanely beautiful like always. His hair was dishevelled as the wind blew it in all directions and his top stuck to his chest defining his shape. I was getting carried away, if Edward was here I'm sure he would've turned back by now.

The lake sparkled in front of us, the water as still as the night breeze. The cliffs broke the horizon and I shivered as Carlisle moved closer, his hand finding mine.

"You're okay now." He whispered in my ear. "Forever and always." I smiled as he ran on ahead of me, beckoning me to follow him. I laughed as he led me on a cat and mouse chase. His pace never waning.

"We're nearly there." I continued following him like a lost puppy. His wide smile fuelling me on. The cliffs loomed closer as we continued our chase. The feeling of dread was evident as I remembered everything that led me to _that_ cliff.

"Carlisle?" He didn't respond, he just tightened his grip around my hand. "I don't know..."

"Esme, you _have _to trust me." I nodded at his kind eyes, and calm features.

We ascended even further up the cliff, the rocks under my feet slowly turning into green grass as we got closer to the top, to our perch.

"Why are we here?" He slowed right down, waiting for me to join his side once again.

"Because Esme, if there's one thing we can rarely do as Vampires, it's to see the sunrise." I gasped.

"Really, you brought me up here to see the sunrise?" He sat down, his legs dangling over the edge, patting the empty spot next to him.

I took my place next to him, snuggling into his muscular chest. The drop below me was more than 150 feet, but it didn't scare me anymore. The drop couldn't kill me now, quite ironic really.

I buried my head further into his chest, watching as the sky turned different shades of red, the sun's sphere slowly appearing into the horizon reflecting off of Carlisle's golden orbs. Our skin together glowed calmly together, waiting for the full circle we would soon face.

"Carlisle, I don't know what to say." He kissed my hair.

"How about I ask you a question then? That way you'll be able to say how you feel."

"Okay..."

The sun rose higher each minute, causing more diamonds to spill across the landscape. He took his coat off, taking something I couldn't see out of the pocket before dropping it by his side. His position was now facing me, his eyes holding a spark of something I didn't understand. My hand was enveloped in his humongous bear hands. His lips found my cheek and he pulled back to lock his eyes with mine.

"Esme, from the first moment I saw you face, I knew you were special. I knew that you were a flower ready to blossom and blossom you did. I know the hardships you've been through and I know how unfairly life has treated you, but since you first opened your eyes in this new life, I've seen you develop as a person. I've seen you grow into a wonderful, secure and confident woman and I was honoured to see that happen. You've filled my darkest nights with light and you've saved me from the depression that was slowly destroying me. You're my salvation and I couldn't bear it if I ever lost you. You're the person who understands me, who can read me like a book, and I love you for that. So please, Esme Anne Platt, would you do me the honour of staying my own personal sunshine? Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

I started at him, my mind racing, and my dead heart shattering with happiness. He was holding a ring out in front of him, the jewel was emerald.

"I..." My throat was dry as I tried to control the shock consuming my body. Venom made a misty film over my eyes and my chest started shaking. Tears of happiness would have been rolling down my cheeks by now if I still had that physical aspect.

"Es-

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes and a million times over; yes!" I threw myself at him as he captured his lips with mine; the kiss was long, passionate and full of love. It was different to the others. Before our kisses were almost shy in a way, controlled, but now in this moment, we were ending a chapter and starting a new one. Never before had it tasted so good.

Carlisle, the angel who had deserved so much more asked _me _to become his wife. I didn't know what he saw in me, and I wondered why he had fallen for me in the first place, but for this moment, none of those worries mattered because I was soon to be saved. I wasn't Carlisle's salvation because he was mine. The man I called husband was dead to me now. I got a second chance in life. Finally, I am Esme Anne Platt Cullen.

**A/N – Sorry if this chapter seems really short, I just think moments like these deserve to be short and sweet rather than long dragged out.**

**I hope I did a good proposal scene, and if you enjoyed it, Please Review. Thanks Katie1995.**


	24. New Beginnings

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**New Beginnings**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

"Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" Her eyes locked with mine, her mouth a perfect "o" shape as she looked at me astonished. My non-beating heart seemed to twist with anticipation as I searched her face for any signs of an answer, but she was good at hiding her emotions.

"I..."

"Es-

Her answer seemed like an out of body experience. She threw herself at me, a thousand yes' whispering through the breeze of the early morning. Her sweet lips finding mine as I caressed her heart shaped face with my hands, cupping her cheeks in palms.

"Carlisle, yes." She breathed as he stared into my eyes, her dimples showing as she wore the widest smile I had ever seen.

Her petite hand drowned in mine as I slipped the small ring onto her slender finger. The golden band clearly showing our never ending love for each other.

"Thank you." Her eyes were brimmed with venom, tears she would never cry were reflecting the colours of the morning sky.

"What for?" She looked down, smoothing the gold band with her finger.

"Choosing me, I guess." I sighed as she kept her eye line down.

"Who else, Esme? Who else would I choose? You are my partner, my mate, my other half." I tucked a soft curl of hair behind her ear. "That man really did damage you didn't he?"

She nodded, a small yes coming from her mouth.

"Well, you should know this. He was wrong, because if I were offered a thousand women, I would've still searched for you. And when I finally would've found you, I wouldn't of let you go, like now; I will _never _let you go." I offered her my hand as I stood up, she took it, rising with me. "Come on." The sun was still rising slowly, casting diamonds across our marble skin.

No words needed to be said. Each other's company was enough to show each other's love for one another. Our hands linked together by our sides. Birds chirped, their songs ringing out in the crisp breeze.

The lake below us rippling as the wind gently whispered across its waters.

"Edward knew didn't he?" I tightened my grip around her hand. "And you didn't go to work the other day did you?"

I felt the cheeky grin that gave me away so easily pulling my lips up around the corners.

"Yes, Edward knew, and yes, I lied about work."

"What a liar you are Doctor Cullen." She stopped pulling our bodies closer to one another. Not the greatest move considering my desire for her grew with every second I spent with her.

"Well, what are we going to do Mrs. Cullen?" She leaned forwards as if to kiss my cheek, simply whispering.

"We're not married yet."

I grabbed her around the waist, twirling her around as she giggled with delight.

"Car...lis...le." She breathed between laughs. "Put me down..." I continued my twirling moment.

"Why?"

"Because...because..." I placed her down again.

"Because...you don't have a reason do you?"

"Okay, okay, no I don't." My hand was behind her neck as I kissed her forehead.

"Thought so." She swatted me on the arm, her smile blinding me like the sun.

I hadn't realised where we had ended up until my love pointed out to the blue world before us. The sun was twinkling like stars on the surface of the water, her eyes wide with wonderment. She looked at me as if to ask permission, I nodded as she sat down on the lake's embankment, her hand slicing elegantly through the water, moving from side to side. Why she needed my permission I couldn't understand, but that was another thing, that with time, she could recover from.

"Carlisle?" I walked towards the puzzling creature.

"Yes."

"Gotcha." I felt her jump onto my back as I lost my footing. The water that awaited us created an almighty splash as I caught Esme in my arms. Startled birds took flight as our laughs echoed from the cliff walls.

"Esme...how are we going to explain this?" She touched her nose to mine.

"We don't."

Our lips met again as our bodies were completely submerged underneath the surface to this other world. My hands knotted in her hair as I tried in desperation to go further. Her body was pressed against mine as she ran her hands through my hair and down my chest, making me shiver with pleasure as she moved further down, stopping just above my trouser line. A growl erupted from my throat as frustration took control. I needed her.

Limbs were a combination of knots as we continued our need for one another. The sun disappeared as we sunk lower into the aqua planet that now surrounded us. I pushed us upwards towards the light, I knew how uncomfortable not breathing was and I knew it would affect her. We broke the through the water the same time our kiss had broken. Panting was the only sound as we both tried to regain our unneeded breaths. Her hands were still rested on my chest as her soaked hair fell around her face.

"Carlisle, I told you before, we're not married yet."

"Oh but Esme, you're just too tempting to wait for."

"Carlisle, patience is a virtue."

"Please." She shushed me with her finger.

"No." I sighed as she smiled. "We have to plan first."

"Plan." I repeated. "Plan for our wedding..." She smiled as I said that, whispering it back to herself as it slowly sank in. "...And our futures."

"Our new beginnings."

I stroked her soft cheek with the back of my hand, the water calm around us. She grabbed my hand, placing a chaste kiss as she stroked my cheek with her other hand.

"How you found me, Carlisle, I will never understand."

"Fate, Esme, fate."

"I thought I had lost you forever, you know?" I felt my chest fall as I sighed.

"And Esme, when I left that sixteen year old girl behind in Columbus, I thought I had lost her forever as well." Her eye lashes batted together as I pictured the blush that would appear on her face. "But I guess I wasn't ever meant to lose her, otherwise she wouldn't be here now."

"Fate." She repeated.

"Esme, I don't want to ever leave you again."

"And you won't, because were tied forever and ever. Where ever you go, I go."

I put my hand around her waist again as I paddled further to the embankment. She put her arms around my neck. "You know, you're my knight in shining armour."

"And you're my damsel in distress." She laughed softly as I reached the edge of the lake; the sun was now fully raised.

"Well, I wouldn't mind having you rescue me." She tickled my nose, her eyes shining with joy; finally the grief and horror of her past weren't eating her up anymore. She was the Esme I remembered, she was _my _Esme.

I found my footing on the lake's sand bed, walking with Esme slowly to the grass before us.

"It's going to be so embarrassing with Edward around."

"No it won't, he'll just have to grin and bear it." Her smile was embarrassed.

"I know, but the thoughts I have...it's just awkward for him..."

"That makes two of us."

"Great, let's just think of how to do this."

"Roman numerals?"

"Carlisle, you know I can't..."

"I'll teach you." She straightened her soaked skirt down.

"Well, first you'll have to help me dry these... after all, I'll probably break them."

"You don't know..."

"No, Carlisle, I will, and good money shouldn't be wasted." I nodded my head, my eyes watching her curiously. "Take this please." She slipped out of the shirt she wore over her bodice, my senses immediately perked, but I knew I had to control myself.

"Okay..." I took the small shirt from her equally small hand.

"Thank you."

"Carlisle?" We both whipped round at Edward's voice.

_Great, get distracted now._

"Oh Carlisle, you do not know the half of it." I looked away as Edward chuckled under his breath.

"Thank you Edward."

"Well, I'll have to get used to it. You're getting married after all." He smiled at me once more, rolling his eyes before walking ahead before us. "Oh, and you'll have to inform Tanya."

Esme sighed heavily. "Great."

**A/N – Just a moment between Carlisle and Esme after the proposal. I hope I did a good job...**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, please review, they're always appreciated! Thanks, Katie1995.**


	25. Wedding Dress

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Wedding Dress**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Since that day everything went round in a whirlwind. Plans were made, the church was booked and although Carlisle wouldn't let me see them, rings were bought.

I didn't think my life could get any better than this, but I was wrong. Not only did the one man I had ever dreamt of being with love me, but he wanted to marry me as well. I had everything I only could have dreamt of having whilst I was human. I wasn't as breakable anymore and I wasn't as weak as before. Carlisle mended me, and in a way, I mended him too.

"Esme Cullen." I whispered to myself. The name rolled easily off my tongue. How right it seemed to say. I was Dr. Cullen's bride and future wife.

"Esme?" Tanya flitted into the room behind me, her smile wide as she leaned against the door frame.

"Tanya..."

"I can tell you're happy."

"I am very happy. I have my life back on track."

"I can tell. That grin could put Lewis Caroll's characters to shame." Her laugh echoed through the near empty house.

"Maybe he based the Cheshire cat on me?"

"Unless he could see into the future." Another eruption of giggles went round the room. Tanya was like my sister now. We had become close friends and I was thankful for being able to talk to her about problems that would crop up now and then.

"What are you two doing up there?" Kate called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Nothing..."

"Hmm, well, we have to get going."

"Kate, I think you should go without me."

She appeared as if by magic in the door way next to Tanya. Her face was questioning.

"Why?"

"Because if I can help it, I would like to try and not massacre the entire town." She sighed as she walked towards me.

"You won't." She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You've done it before."

"Yes, in the car."

"And? You didn't need restraining. You were literally in the middle of town any way and although it was uncomfortable, you resisted didn't you?"

"I...well I guess so."

"Right, so what's the matter?"

"Just, Carlisle isn't there and..."

"You don't think you can do it without him." I nodded my head. She knew me well. "Well Esme, I know you can, and I know you will. Just picture him and I promise it'll be easier." She put two fingers underneath my chin lifting my head up to meet her eyes.

"I believe you."

"Good girl, now come on." She offered me her arm which I linked with mine. "We have to get this dress fitted."

I sighed "That's if I don't end up killing the dress maker first." Her laughter filled the empty air once again.

"Oh Esme, you have too many doubts."

"I'm sure I do." I mumbled.

"There you are." Irina was sat on the wall outside the cottage. Her arms were folded and she held a fake frown. "Talk about waiting eternity."

"Very funny." Kate responded.

The car glowed dimly in the over cast weather. The car – my old friend – was waiting like usual in the garage. For 5 months now we had been testing my tolerance to human blood. It was getting better, but I'd still managed to slip up a view times. Only three times had I made it into town and now they were expecting me to get a wedding dress fitted?

"Right, it's only going to be around a 10 minute journey okay?"

"Right, go ahead." Tanya continued. The car burst into life, arguing like me, with the journey we were about to go on.

"Anyway, I doubt anyone will be out today, it's overcast and the rain is bound to come down hard."

"Right...and that's supposed to make things easier." Tanya's mouth twitched.

"Slightly."

The trees stood strong as the wind picked up. Like Tanya had said, the skies had finally opened and now the rain relentlessly fell from the sky. The pitter-patter of the rain falling onto the car calmed me as I made sure not to think of the task ahead.

"If you go down Park Street, the dress shop should be the third shop to the right..." Irina mumbled directions as Kate followed her instructions.

Town? I'd made it in to town without realising it? I looked out my rain streaked window to see shops lined up in neat rows next to each other. Sure my throat was uncomfortable, but town? How I made it, I didn't know. What happened to my crazy thrashing about as I was pinned to the seat? What happened to me going wild?

"Esme?" I saw my almost stunned expression in Tanya's golden orbs as she smiled widely at me. My eyes were an orangey-yellow as the transaction from new born to one year old came closer and closer.

"We're here..."

I had to choke out the words. "I...know."

"Surprised?" I nodded, the shock still sinking in.

"I...I..."

"You did it."

"I did." Kate flashed a huge smile at me in the rear view mirror.

The car slowed down as Kate parked in front of the shop we were soon to go into. The shop was small, but sweet and I knew, without a doubt, that I would find a dress I loved.

"Wait, wait, wait!. If you don't kill the seamstress out of thirst, than I'm sure she'll keel over out of shock."

"What?" I retorted defensively.

"Esme, your eyes aren't exactly human..."

"Oh..."

"Exactly."

"So what am I supposed to do?" She held out a small box out to me. "How's that going to help?"

She sighed as she flipped the lid open. "Contacts."

"Will they work?"

"Yes, after all, I'm wearing a pair now." I gasped as I realised her eyes were an almost violet blue colour. "I didn't notice."

"I gathered. Anyway, they're meant to be blue, but because of your natural eye colouring being slightly yellow, they'll come out green." I smiled a nostalgic smile as I remembered my human reflection. My eyes used to be green, a sparkling bright green.

"Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for...and, well, to help pick your dress as well." I took the small contacts out of the box and one by one, placed them carefully over my "un-human" orbs.

"That's better." I nodded as she smiled kindly at me. "You'll have to replace them later though; the venom will wear them out soon enough." She handed me another small box as she got out the car.

My eyes wondered to the rear view mirror. I could see my reflection in perfect clarity. The green of my eyes nearly tricked me into believing I was human again. Green eyes stared back at me, and although that should've felt normal, it didn't. Red, orange and soon to be gold were normal for me now.

"Esme?" My day dreaming was cut short as Tanya knocked on my window. "It would be a good start if you actually got out of the car." If I could blush, this would've been the moment. I had been captivated by my own reflection once again.

"Right, okay... stupid contacts" I muttered. Quickly opening the door, I got out, only to be met with heavy rain and gale force winds. _Lovely weather, _I thought.

Kate held my shoulders, her eyes apologetic. "I know it's not big but-

"No, no, it's fine. I like simple."

She took my hand "So do I."

"Hello ma'am, I here you need my assistance?" A white haired man came out of the shop, his wife by his side. I could hear his heart beat and the blood rushing around his veins. I could hear his harsh breathing and I could smell the luring scent of Human blood.

_NO. _I warned myself as he came closer. _You're not weak anymore; you won't hurt Carlisle like that._

The feral Esme roared in disagreement as she was kept back from the one thing she needed. My human self, if you could call it that, wouldn't allow her.

_Why not? He hasn't got a chance, and anyway, you know how much relief human blood brings compared to an animal's. _She poked back.

_NO. _I repeated again. _I won't give into you. I've worked too hard._

_But you know you want it. The hard work could just end up in you slipping...again._

_You can't control me._ I exclaimed.

_We'll see about that..._ I screamed at her as she ducked back into the shadows. My breathing was heavy as I battled against instincts I couldn't use.

What scared me most was how I could feel my body ready for attack. I wouldn't do it, no, but I was slowly conditioning my senses to stop the immediate reflex.

"Come on." I felt Kate's hand on the small of my back. "You're doing great." She whispered.

"Really..." My voice sounded nervous, betraying my determined actions ever so slightly.

"Now, about this dress." The man's wife came towards me with a tape measure. I stepped back a bit as the wind from the closing door sent her scent in my direction. My hands were balled up by my sides as her heart beat became distinctively louder.

"Are you okay, Miss?" The old man questioned as he signed some papers off.

I had to clear my throat before answering. "Yes, thank you."

"Arms up, dear." The elderly woman patted my shoulder as I did what she said. Her husband had joined her on her other side. "Right..." I didn't quite catch the end. She mumbled and her husband wrote measurements down. "And your waist?" I held the beginning of the tape measure as she pulled it delicately around my waist. Her husband continued scribbling down measurements and inches. "Could you hold it here for me?" I nodded as she gave me the end of the tape measure again and rolled the other end down so it was by my feet. "You're quite tall aren't you?"

"Yes, 5'6" if I remember correctly."

Her kind smile relaxed me slightly. "Then whatever dress or design you choose, it will surely fit you wonderfully. You have the build for it my dear." I smiled as her husband continued to scribble things down. I did have the build for it. I had all the right curves in all the right places and my body was quite slender, although without child birth, I wouldn't have had those curves in the first place.

A jolt of pain shot through my body as my hands balled up again.

Why did things so easily remind me of him?

"Esme?" Tanya placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"What material do you want?" A mischievous smile touched her lips.

"That's not exactly easy." Her smiled got wider.

"Oh, I know. That's why we're here to help."

I sighed exasperated. "You're not going to let me go are you?"

She was thoughtful for a moment before answering. "No."

I closed my eyes; a smile crept up on the corners of my mouth. This was going to be a very long day.

**A/N – Sorry if it feels like it's taken me forever to update, but here it is.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this Chapter, and I promise the next chapter will be the wedding.**

**If you have time, please review! Thanks, Katie1995 **


	26. I do

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**I do.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

The mirror stood before me as I fitted my coat over my outfit. My blonde hair was streaked back into a neat do, and my shirt was buttoned up to the neck with a tie. My hands were shaking as I buttoned up my coat.

_Why so nervous Carlisle? _I questioned myself. _You're going to get everything you've ever wanted._

"Oh, Carlisle, it's right to feel nervous." Edward's reflection stood behind mine, slightly to the left. He put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at my slightly confused faze.

"I shouldn't..."

"You should." He continued. "This is going to be new for both of you."

_Both of us?_

"Both of you." He repeated. "Remember, what you offer Esme is going to be different from things she's experienced before." I straightened my tie as he smiled next to me.

"20 minutes Carlisle, and then we have to be there." Kate called up the stairs. The clock was steadily ticking along next to me. Where was the time going today? Everything seemed to move extra fast and considering I hadn't seen Esme for nearly two days, today was a god send.

"Are you ready?" I breathed in deeply, pinching the bridge of my nose – a habit I had picked up from Edward – as the nerves got the better of me.

"Ready as any man can be on his wedding day."

"Hmm, well, that differs for every _man, _Carlisle." He hit my shoulder playfully. "Come on. I can't be late either; after all, it's traditional for the _bride _to be late, not the groom and his best man."

"Carlisle!" Kate sounded...annoyed, and that wasn't good. "We have 19 minutes to get there!"

"Okay." I called back. I breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly before making my way to the door.

"Go and get 'em." I sighed as my stomach, if possible, continued to do flips.

The stairs creaked as I walked down them, my steps unsteady as my breathing continued to stay irregular. If I felt like this now, how would I feel when I was actually there? Kate met me at the bottom tapping her foot impatiently.

"What took you so long?"

"Nerves." She sighed before storming out the door, muttering something under her breath on how we're going to be late.

"I wouldn't get to near to her Carlisle, unless you want an "acute" electric shock." Edward smirked at me as he walked towards the car.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

The car stood gleaming before us. Kate was already in the back, her arms crossed as she tried not to smile at me. I knew she was faking, Kate couldn't be angry if she tried, well, that was until she got into a fight. All I knew was that I didn't want to be on the receiving end of her right hooks.

"Get in otherwise-

"We'll be late." Edward mimicked.

"Exactly, and I'm not sure Esme just wants to stand there."

The car grumbled tiredly as it started up. Hopefully it would get us there today...

"Relax." Edward laughed.

_Easy for you to say._

"Oh, I know." I looked down at my uncontrollable hands. I was wringing them together, trying to desperately distract myself. I tried in vain. Nothing could keep my mind from my beautiful Esme for long.

"Right, okay, we're nearly there." I nearly choked as Kate said that. "I just want to go through our list and see if we've got everything – and everyone – here."

"Kate..."

"No, now, answer yes and no."

"Fine."

"Have we got the rings?"

"Yes."

"Best Man?"

"Yes."

"Flowers?"

"Yes."

"And the groom?" She looked back at me while rolling her eyes.

"Yes." I chuckled.

"Great, let's get this show on the road."

I could hear the church bells chiming before the actual church came into view. They sounded out everything I couldn't put into words. Nerves, happiness, longing. Soon, so soon, I would have Esme as my wife.

"Here we are." The car slowed down as it turned the corner revealing the church. The windows reflected spectacular colours in the dull weather.

"Ready?"

I nodded unable to speak as Edward got out of the car, opening my door for me.

"Carlisle?" Kate asked.

"I'm ready." I shakily got out of the car, my breathing momentarily stopping.

"Your flower." I took the flower from Kate's small hand. It was a red rose, like my Esme, beautifully blossomed. I pinned it to my waistcoat, which was cream in colour. Three buttons went down the middle and I had a low V neck cut so you could see my shirt underneath, buttoned up with a scarlet tie to colour code and match my rose. My trousers were black, including my shoes, and my suit jacket was over my arm.

"It's your time to shine." She patted my shoulders before turning me round to the direction for the entrance of the church.

I walked up the stone steps, studying every bump and crack in them, my heart, if I were human, would've burst from my chest by now. Flowers lined the path I walked on and the church doors stood 2 feet away from me.

_Guess it's time._

I opened them slightly, continuing my deep breathing techniques. Everything was how it should be, Esme was to be my wife, and finally, I wasn't alone anymore.

The vicar greeted me with a huge smile on his face. He was elderly, but his loving and his warmth shone throughout the entire church.

"Carlisle..." I nodded unsure of what to say to a man of God. "Are you ready?" My head nodded again as I followed him to the alter up front. Edward was close on my heels.

I stopped at the front, with Edward by my side. Only Kate and Irina sat in the pews, awaiting the service that would soon take place. I could hear shuffling of the feet and hushed talking outside. Esme, my very- nearly wife, was just outside those doors.

It was a small _congregation_, but it didn't matter. I had all the people I needed here today, and they were both my witnesses and family who I loved dearly.

"Please stand." If possible, I felt myself go paler. This was it.

Both Kate and Irina rose, the doors opening at the back. What my eyes beheld was an angel. Esme's face shone, her whole being glowing. Tanya was on her other side, her arm linked with Esme's.

My angel's dress fitted perfectly around her so that she was floating in a sea of white. The dress melted effortlessly down to the floor, like a water fall over her slender figure. The top have was tightly fit, supported by a crème coloured ribbon that acted as an empire line. Small beads, like pearls, dotted the empire line, creating the most beautiful pattern. The bottom half fell around her, draping along the floor, but not too long that it tripped her up. It was flowing down, only letting her reveal her feet, which were enclosed in dainty white, silk shoes.

Her hair was in curls, falling gently down her back. It had been loosely pinned up, but not too tight that it looked formal.

The flowers she held were white Freesia's. They matched her – and her dress – perfectly.

I must've been gawking, as Edward delivered a sharp knock to my arm. Esme's smile lit up my heart as she came closer.

Finally, she had taken her place next to me, Tanya placing our hands together, showing we were now forever together as one. Never before had this simple gesture, this simple touch been so significant.

Her breaths were gentle, as she stared into my soul.

"Hello." He dipped his voice to greet us. We both nodded our acknowledgements, too emotional to speak. "Are you ready?" Again we nodded, a small yes coming from my mouth, as he began.

"We are here today to join Carlisle Cullen and Esme Anne Platt, in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honourable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace." My breath caught in my throat as silence invaded the hall. He continued after a moment. "Brought together by fate, and supported by the hands of God, they will be forever as one, united by each other's love for one another." My breathing became deep once again. "You may now be seated."

"You okay?" Esme whispered low enough so that the priest couldn't hear.

"I'm found." I answered back, her smile blinding me.

"Now, a prayer."

Esme leaned in to touch her forehead to mine, her scent filling my nostrils.

"Thank you, Father, for love. Thank you for marriage. Thank you that you have given your gift of a beautiful love to Carlisle and Esme. Today they want to dedicate that love to each other. We pray that Thy loving presence will encircle this wedding service. We pray that Thy blessing will encircle the marriage of Carlisle and Esme. Amen."

I knew who had chosen the prayer, it had been Kate. And being her, she had managed to choose the most fitting one, the one that had been able to express each other's love through words.

The vicar made the sign of the cross, and then turned to face Esme and I, our hands still clasped together.

"Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy – and for the help and comfort given on another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly – it is a means through which a stable and loving environment may be attained."

Esme's calm breathing kept my nerves at bay.

"Through marriage, Carlisle and Esme, make a commitment together to face their disappointments – embrace their dreams – realize their hopes – and accept each other's failures. Carlisle and Esme will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together – through mutual understanding – openness – and sensitivity to each other."

She smiled softly at me, tucking a wave of blonde hair behind my ear, cupping my cheek as her hand pulled away.

"We are here today – before God – because marriage is one of His most sacred wishes – to witness the joining in marriage of Carlisle and Esme. This occasion marks the celebration of love and commitment with which this man and this woman begin their life together. And now – through me – He joins you together in one of the holiest bonds."

"Will you have Esme Anne Platt to be your wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"Do you, Carlisle Cullen, take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do."

"And do you Esme; take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

He smiled at us both, then turned around to our congregation.

"Esme has requested that she recite a poem, dedicated to Carlisle, and their love towards each other."

I gasped as her smile became wider.

She cleared her throat before beginning.

"Carlisle, you stole my heart unexpectedly,

Yet you held it oh, so dear.

You showed me how to love again,

As you chased away my fear.

You drowned me with your passion

And you showered me with your kiss.

You gave me love and affection

As I lingered in this bliss.

I never thought I'd love again

But I know now my heart has healed.

Since the day I met you,

I knew my fate was sealed.

How have I been so lucky,

To have met someone like you?

I may never know the answer,

But I thank God...

Because you're a dream come true."

Her voice broke on the last word as I immediately brushed my thumb over her cheek, catching invisible tears.

"Thank you."She grasped my hand in hers, squeezing it.

"Everything I said is true." She brushed her thumb over my cheek, like me, catching my nonexistent tears.

"This relationship stands for love, loyalty, honesty and trust, but most of all for friendship. Before they knew love, they were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that is their destiny. Do not think that you can direct the course of love – for love, if it finds you worthy, shall direct you."

The vicar continued on as we were captured in each other's gaze.

"Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment as well as a moral and physical union between two people. Marriage has been described as the best and most important relationship that can exist between them. It is the construction of their love and trust into a single growing energy of spiritual life. It is amoral commitment that requires and deserves daily attention. Marriage should be a lifelong consecration of the ideal of loving kindness – backed with the will to make it last."

And it would last, without a doubt.

"I won't lose you again." I whispered wholeheartedly. My words determined.

"You'll be forever in my heart." She replied.

"Please, repeat after me."

"I Carlisle Cullen take you, Esme Anne Platt, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love."

"_I Carlisle Cullen take you, Esme Anne Platt, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love."_

"I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together."

"_I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together."_

" I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live."

" _I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward and until we both shall part."_ My eyes were locked with Esme's the entire time, my love for her growing stronger every second. The last bit was changed, for eternity was what we both looked forwards to.

Edward gave me the ring and I slipped it onto her slender finger, her face visibly lit up.

"With this Ring I thee wed: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."

I exhaled deeply, my smile invading her sights once again.

"Bless, O Lord, this Ring, that he who gives it and she who wears it may abide in thy peace, and continue in they favour, unto their life's end; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

"And Esme, repeat after me." She nodded as he began.

"I Esme Anne Platt, take you, Carlisle Cullen, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love."

"_I Esme Anne Platt, take you, Carlisle Cullen, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love."_

"I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together."

"_I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together."_

" I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward and until we both shall part."

" _I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward and until we both shall part."_ Her small hand was shaking as she placed the ring on my finger. I smiled as she caught my eye, a silent "I love you" radiating from her.

"Let us pray." Our hands were held tightly together as Edward, Kate and Irina bowed their heads. "Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done, On Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen."

"Forasmuch as Carlisle and Esme have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a Ring, and by joining hands; I pronounce that they are Man and Wife, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."

He continued onto the blessing.

"God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you, and fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace; that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen."

I looked into her eyes, studying; I was sure, her soul, as she did the same to me.

"I now announce you, Esme Anne Platt Cullen." He turned to face me. "You may now kiss the bride." I took her head in both hands, reaching in for her soft lips. She did the same to mine, and when our lips touched, it was if fireworks were exploding around us. She was the most precious thing my life had involved so far, and after losing her once, finding her again, was a miracle in God's doing. For once, we were one, forever together.

**A/N – well (finally) here's the wedding I hope I did a good job, considering I'm 15 and no nothing what so ever about wedding ceremonies...**

**Anyways, I didn't write the poem, credit goes to ****Naomi Taitano Padua, and the poem is called Healing. I thought it was quite fitting to Esme's character, as she was damaged, but now she's healing because of Carlisle.**

**I used Yahoo answers to help me out on this chapter, so yeah, sorry if it's not accurate or very good...**

**Anyways, If you enjoyed this chapter, please review, they're always appreciated. Thanks, Katie1995.**


	27. Honeymoon

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Honeymoon.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

We were married. I was now Esme Anne Platt Cullen. My dream had come true and I was married to the best man in the world. I couldn't ask for anything else, my life was everything I had wished for.

"Mrs. Cullen." I flashed him a toothy smile as he helped me out of the car.

"Mr. Cullen." I replied.

"I believe we have a date." He continued to help me along. It was annoying when you couldn't see anything apart from blackness.

"I can't believe you blindfolded me Carlisle." He chuckled softly.

"Well, I don't want to ruin your surprise now do I?"

"Of course not. But you could have just told me to close my eyes."

"I know, but that's no fun." I tripped over something, probably a rock, as he caught me in his arms. I was a vampire, barely a year old, and still my other senses failed me completely.

"Careful now." I put my arms out in front of me. A wall was beside me, and there was a pebble like path underneath my feet.

"That's easy for you to say."

"Well..."

"Hmm."

He walked me forwards a bit more until I felt my toes hit a ledge. I'm guessing it was stairs.

"You ready?"

"For what?"

"This." He untied the blindfold from the nape of my neck to reveal a small cottage beside a private lake. There was a willow tree hanging over the water, it's reflection like a painting on a canvas. The sky was painted gold as the evening sun set and the long grass in the distance swayed side to side with the soft evening breeze.

"Carlisle." I gasped. "It's beautiful, but how-

"Before we came to Denali, I brought this cottage. I did it up for you so when this moment did come, we could be here together."

I twisted round in his arms, kissing his nose. "It's absolutely amazing Carlisle. I can't imagine how much-

"It doesn't matter how much it cost because you're priceless to me." I smiled, placing my hands on his chest.

"Would you like to see inside?"

"Yes." He took my hand, leading me up the steps.

"Here you go." He handed me a small key with a ribbon tied around it. The tag read:

_Welcome to your honeymoon suit._

_This is only one way I can express my love to you without words. I'm tongue-tied and it's because you dazzle me every second I spend with you._

_You're the best thing that's happened to me, and I'll love you for all of eternity._

_Yours forever,_

_Carlisle._

_Xxx_

I felt my chest shaking as he wrapped his arms round my shoulders.

"I don't know what to say."

"Then show me."

His lips found mine. Our tongues battling against each other, examining every part of one another's mouth. My hands ran through his golden blonde hair as I pushed myself closer to his defined body. He responded with a low growl and picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, our mouth never leaving one another.

Somehow, through all of that, we managed to make it through the door. The house was already furnished, and paintings covered the yellow pastel painted walls.

"Esme..." He sighed as he kept placing delicate kisses over my face and neck. "I've been waiting so long."

"So have I." I let our mouths connect again as his grip lessened and I found my feet again. He found my hand, leading me through the hall way and up the stairs.

Our hands melted into each other's, never letting go.

"Our room." He mumbled into my hair.

"I guessed." He picked me up again as I squealed in delight. I heard his throaty chuckle as he continued to shower me with kisses.

"I love you." He smiled into my hair.

"Love you more." His grip tightened as he carried me into our room.

"Carlisle, you've done an amazing job."

"Well, thank you." I ran my hands through his hair as he pushed closer into me.

He walked with me, my legs around his waist, until he placed me on the bed. His eyes were burning with un-voiced desire and his hair was dishevelled from my wandering hands.

"Esme." He looked at me; the want was evident; as was mine as well.

"Take me." In one swift moment he was on the bed with me, our lips melting together as balanced on both his arms above of me. I ran my hands through his hair and down his muscular body to his trousers.

"Esme." He moaned as I continued downwards. I could feel how ready he was.

"Carlisle." He moved my dress up to my thighs as he moved to different parts of my body, blessing them with every touch he placed.

I was ready for him, so ready. Months of waiting had lead up to this moment.

"Are you ready for this?" He looked down at me with such worry it almost broke my heart in two. Of course bad memories from nights with _him_ still haunted me, but I knew he was different. I hadn't experienced what we were about to go through, and although I had bore a child, it wasn't out of love. This, this was different.

"Nervous."

"Then we're the same." He smiled embarrassed.

"I trust you." His fingers traced my jaw as he smiled down at me. I shivered with anticipation.

I felt his hands snake under my back, lifting me up so our chests met. His hands were trembling slightly as he undid the lace that held my bodice. I found the buttons of his shirt, imitating him as my hands shook with nerves.

He whispered sweet nothings into my ear as I peeled his shirt off his shoulders, his chest so defined.

Wow.

He did the same with my bodice, letting it fall to the floor. We were both half naked under each other's eyes.

I felt hot kisses trailing up my arm as he moved closer to me. He twirled a ringlet around his fingers as he silently asked for my permission. I nodded, smiling so he knew I was okay.

Carefully he undid the buttons on my bottom half, kissing every new exposed bit as he went.

"Car..lis..le." He continued down until my skirt was completely off and only my pants were on.

I was completely bare in front of the one man who had saved me from self destruction. A weird sense of embarrassment washed over me, as if I was wrong to be like this in front of him. How could he worship my body like he wanted to, when he knew what I had already been through before? I turned my head away.

"What's wrong?"

"It's not you." He kissed my neck.

"What is it?"

"Me." He put two fingers under my chin so I had to look into his eyes.

"Why?"

"I've been used, soiled." He sighed, his breath making me dizzy for a minute or two.

"I don't care. What happened to you, you couldn't stop. It was beyond your power, and I am ashamed I wasn't there to protect you. But it happened without feeling, and with something so intimate, it has to be out of love, not want." His features were deadly serious.

"You don't mind?" His answering kiss was all I needed to know. No, he didn't.

I let myself fall back onto the bed beneath me. Carlisle was above me again, his eyes, like mine, taking everything in.

"You're so very beautiful." I cupped his cheek with my hand.

"You're not so bad yourself."

"Tell me if it hurts." I gulped, his fingers interlocking with mine. "Please?"

"I will." He leaned over to me, our lips joining in another dance. His tongue asked for permission and I agreed as his tongue joined mine in utter bliss. He tasted like, like words can't explain.

His hands travelled downwards and I stiffened. He cooed words of comfort into my ear, relaxing my mentally and physically.

"I'm not scared of you." I whispered.

"I know darling." He stroked my cheek. "Let's do this at a steady pace." I nodded as he continued down. He removed my last bit of clothing and now, I was completely visible to him. Every part of my body was on display, but unlike Charles, he didn't abuse that vulnerability.

I did the same to him, undoing the fly of his trousers and pulling them down. His boxers were the only thing now.

"Let me help you." He whispered into my ear. Slowly he peeled them off, revealing everything about him.

He was beautiful, like the finest marble carving come to life. Perfection.

I leaned further back so I was flat against the mattress.

"Are you okay?"

"Please, just..." I couldn't finish as his lips came to my neck, sucking softly at the scar that he left there only months before. To feel his lips there again was just amazing.

"Carlisle." I panted.

I could feel him on the inside of my thigh, my wetness building each second.

"Just...take me." He locked his eyes with mine before thrusting forwards. To have him inside of me was pure ecstasy. I threw my head back, my hair sprawled across the pillows, moaning as he made contact with me.

The puzzle was finally solved as we became one. He rocked at a comfortable speed as I adjusted to his size.

"Esme..." He panted, his lips finding mine again as we muffled our moans.

"I..lo..ve you." I managed to get out in-between pants. We kept our eyes locked with one another, reading each other like a book.

His speed increased and so did mine. My backed arched up off the bed and he plunged deeper. I thrust my hips with his so we were moving in perfect time. My walls were throbbing around him, begging for release as he continued his wicked routine.

"I'm going to..." A wave of pleasure rolled through my body, my limbs were like jelly and my eyes rolled back as he continued.

"So close..." Carlisle's face was a mask of pleasure as he went over the edge. He moaned my name one last time before his release took him, creating another wave of pleasure for me.

His face was like a God's, so full of love and accomplishment. He collapsed on top of me, our limbs twisting together like the roots of a tree. He wasn't heavy; it was actually quite comfortable to have him there, just lying with me. Our frantic breaths calmed as we enjoyed the closeness of our bodies, drunk in the intimacy we allowed to share with each other.

I stoked his hair, his arms tightening around me. "I never knew I could feel like that." I kissed his head as he smiled into my chest.

"Neither did I." His head popped up.

"There's a first time for everything."

"Carlisle?"

"Yes." He tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Thank you." He brought his lips to mine again, ready for the night ahead, and I was sure, tonight was going to be a very long night.

**A/N – So yeah, this is kind of the first Lemmon I've written. To be honest with you this chapter couldn't be avoided, so I really hope I did a good job with this.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**

**P.S. They're not on Isle Esme as I'm going to leave that for later as an anniversary present... (Plus pants in England are what we call underwear, it's not trousers. Sorry if there was any confusion.)**


	28. Unwind

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the Characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Unwind.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

We had been on honeymoon for nearly a week now. It was the sixth day and every day past had been full of new wonders for moth me and Esme. We had become one not just mentally but physically. Every part of our bodies had been shared with each other and now we both knew one another's bodies like a map. The feeling of her soft skin was like silk underneath you hand, so soft. Her hair, the way it would curl and bounce. The way her forehead would furrow and her lip would pucker when she was thinking of something. This woman, who had innocently came into my life – this life – had become a temple to me and I couldn't thank her – god – enough for giving me the opportunity of saving her.

"What you thinking about love?" She ran her small fingers through my hair as I looked up at the crystal blue sky, leaning on my elbows as I watched the clouds pass.

"She's sitting right next to me." I saw her signature smile as she brushed my cheek with the back of her hand.

She went to comb her fingers through my hair again, but I capture her hand in mine placing a delicate kiss on top.

"Mon chérie." Her smile turned surprised.

"You speak French?" I felt my lips twitch upwards as she just stared at me.

"Yes." She sighed, half laughing.

"Is there anything you _can't _do?"

I looked down at her shining face.

"Well, I don't know." She nudged me playfully, but me being me I lost my balance. Before I could go tumbling down the hill I caught her in my arms so we ended up rolling down together.

"Carlisle!" She squealed.

"That was your fault..." She jumped on top of my chest so I was trapped lying down.

Grass was in her long caramel hair, making it look like some had sprinkled hundred and thousands over her hair.

"What you do to me Carlisle. I will never be able to explain."

"Do I dazzle you?" She hit my arm, her laughter tinkling in the air.

"Yes, you do."

"Good, because that means I'm not the only blind one here." She rolled off my chest, laying on the grass next to me, bluebells were dotted around us like stars in the night sky.

"It's nice just to be us, isn't it?" I watched as puffs of white travelled through the sky.

"Yes, it is. It's nice not having to...hide what we truly are." I felt her fingers sliding into mine as her scent mixed with the flowers around us.

We laid in silence for a while, just basking in each other's company. Esme was like an Angel in one of those religious portraits you would see. She was spread out, her arms beside her, her hair falling around her face, sprawled out in curls on the grass and her face, her heart breaking beautiful face, was alight with the sun's rays beaming down on her. The diamonds joined mine in a dance of happiness.

"What do you see?" Her hand tightened around mine.

"Hmm?"

"What can you see? In the clouds..."

I squinted my eyes, looking at the flour puffs floating across the blue. "Clouds."

She burst out laughing as she smiled widely at the sky.

"What do you see _in _them? Images..."

I tried again, looking hard at the clouds above me. "What can _you_ see?" She sighed, shaking her head and tutting.

"Oh Carlisle, my dear, have you never been cloud watching before?"

"No..." She gasped slightly.

"You've been around for nearly 279 years and you've never gone cloud spotting before?" She pushed herself up so she was on her elbows, her expression unbelievable.

"No." A cheeky smile spread across her face.

"Well, there's always time to learn." She trailed her finger over my jaw bone before pointing to the sky.

"There, what can you see?"

"Esme..."

"Look, really look." She pointed towards an invisible image I couldn't find as I struggled to find the fine lines between the white dust.

"I can't...but what do you think it looks like." She sighed tilting her head as if inspecting something.

"I can see a dog...with a bone in its mouth." I followed her gaze, making out a slightly fuzzy animal shape. She grabbed my hand, pointing me in the right direction. "There, see?" Her face was full of wonder.

I examined the cloud again, finally, seeing the shape she could so easily pick up.

"Oh..." She laughed as she patted my arm.

"Finally." I captured her in a kiss before she could say anything else. It was short and sweet, but said everything I wanted to. "What else?" She asked as I pulled away.

"Let me see." I laid back down on the grass below me, enveloping Esme in my arms. Her head was rested on my shoulder as she helped me master the art of cloud spotting.

"Look carefully." I scanned the sky again, like a hawk on the hunt. Clouds came and passed above me as I scanned the skies.

After a minute or two my eyes caught something.

It was simple, not as complex as Esme's shape, but it was symbolic.

"I see one." I pointed into the sky. "There."

"What is it?"

I kissed her hair, mumbling the answer. "My heart." And it was. A love heart just floating delicately in the blue world above.

"Carlisle...you're so sweet."

I picked a daisy tucking it behind her ear as she beamed up at me. Our rings shone, reflecting the sun's light as we just laid there looking into each other's eyes. How far we had come in these short, nervous months really hit me. Before she wouldn't let me – anyone – touch her, but now as she had her head rested on my shoulder, I realised I had given her – along with Edward – the confidence and comfort she had sought all her life to find.

"What can you see now?" I felt her go still as her breaths hitched. "Esme?" I watched as he smile faded and she buried her head into the crook of my neck. "Please talk to me, I can tell when you're hurting."

She shook her head and I looked back into the sky. I saw what she would've seen; a mother cradling her new born in her arms.

"Oh, Esme."

"We never really talked about her son that often, only when it really got to her would we mention those tender links, but never in general, for I knew it hurt her too much. Like this for example.

"I just..." She started. "I just don't understand. Why me?" She balled my shirt up fists. "What did I do wrong Carlisle? It was so unfair, even more so we can't reproduce now." I kissed her hair.

Multiple times I had told her it wasn't her fault, but still, she blamed herself for what had happened, and now I just had to accept this is what she would do. Beat herself up until she finally realised it wasn't her, but fate that caused those tragic incidents to happen.

I let her moment of rage pass before she settles for a more controlled but unsteady mood.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She lied. "It's just sometimes I think I've gotten over it and then I remember the pain. It just gets too much sometimes and well..." She sighed. "This happens. I stroked her hair, breathing in her scent.

"I'm on this journey with you, always remember that." She locked her golden eyes with mine, kissing my lips.

"I'm sorry." I stroked her hair as her breaths became even again.

We watched the cloud form disperse from above. It was a relief not to have that reminder for Esme. We sat in silence for a while, sinking in delight with each other's presences. Nothing else mattered when I was with her. With her I was complete and although it sounded sickly sweet, that was what made us one. We understood each other perfectly. Our connection was deep and heartfelt and it felt good to give her what she had been deprived of before.

I felt her smile into my neck as she twirled my hair around in her fingers. "Carlisle." She sighed. "I don't think I can face going home." I grabbed her around her waist, pulling her close to me.

"Nor can I." I stifled a laugh while picturing Edward's face. "We won't be able to have that closeness." She trailed a finger down my chest, resting her palm on my stomach.

"I'll miss that." The sun beamed down onto our faces.

"We'll just have to be organised." Her laugh echoed through the meadow.

"Planning, Carlisle, planning."

I looked back into the sky. Clouds were forming into other images and we held each other. I watched them float in and out of formations, dancing together like we had during our wedding night.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes?" She grabbed my hand one final time, pointing me to an image I hadn't seen.

"This is home." I looked into the sky, a small house – cottage – shape had pieced together.

"It certainly is." This week had been full of discovery, but now as we faced going back to our everyday lives; it was time for us to unwind.

**A/N – So, today was the Royal Wedding! Great day for England, and Kate Middleton's dress was amazing!**

**Anyways, that's beside the point. Let's get back to the story.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it was a tender moment between Carlisle and Esme on the last day of their honeymoon. **

**The next chapter will probably be the beginning of Edward's rebellious stage...**

**I hope you liked this chapter, if you did, Review! They're always appreciated! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	29. Downhill

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Downhill.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

_**(1 Year later.)**_

It had been one year. One year since the death of my son, the death of myself, and it marked the change I had been through.

So much had changed over a year. I wasn't that timid woman anymore, every time I looked into the mirror; I looked at a different person. I was free to be myself, and I had the best husband – family – in the world, well in vampire terms, and I was happy.

Though the past year had helped me recover from invisible scars, it also offered new milestones for me. I had learnt so much, and Carlisle, along with Edward and the Denali's, were the only ones I could thank. And on top of everything else we had moved again. This time we had settled down in a city called Red Deer in Central Alberta, Canada.

"Esme..." I felt Carlisle strong arms slide around my waist pulling me into him. I turned around in his arms, pecking him on the lips.

"How was work darling?" I ran a hand through his silky hair.

"Surprisingly calm." I tapped his nose, reaching for the medical bag which he held in his hand.

"So I guess there wasn't that much blood." He laughed, holding me tighter.

"Does a nose bleed count?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well then...I guess there was lots of blood for a boy of his age." I smiled, pulling out of his embrace and dropped his medical bag by the coat hanger situated near the door.

"Shoes as well, sir." I reminded him.

"So demanding," he whispered into my ear. "I like that." I wacked him on the arm the same time the door opened.

"Edward," I greeted.

He nodded in my direction before running up to his room. He was like a ghost lately. Quietly working his way round the house, barely speaking to me or Carlisle, and his temper – although usually controlled – was starting to get the better of him.

"Do you-

"No, leave him. He'll come down in his own time." Carlisle nodded before giving me a small kiss on my forehead and placing his shoes in the cupboard under the stairs.

"What's up with him lately?" The soft chords of the piano turned crescendo as the music got angrier. My lullaby was rarely played lately, and the atmosphere in the house could be slice with through with a knife.

"I don't know Esme, really."

Carlisle and Edward had had their fair share of arguments; each one of them containing the same content.

Edward argued on his behalf that we were damned. That Carlisle's theory of an afterlife for our kind was unbelievable and indubitable. I strongly disagreed with him, not because Carlisle was my mate and husband, but because I did believe there was _something _for us after "death."

Carlisle retorted that there must be something for our efforts, that by refraining from the monster within, we must be rewarded in some way. By making the choice we did we are choosing to follow the right path for our "futures." I supported his statements, after all, if there was something after this life Carlisle and I would never be lost.

He grabbed my sides, making me jump.

"You always do that." He smirked.

"Because it always gets you."

He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand.

Suddenly, the tinkling of the piano had stopped completely and the sound of the fall board sounded through the house as it smashed down over the keys.

Frantic footsteps could be heard running across the landing and down the stairs.

I looked at Carlisle, my eyes questioning, as were his.

"What do you think is the matter?"

"I don't know..."

Edward appeared in the hallway, his eyes like a wild animals. They were black as midnight and for the first time, he looked like a real vampire.

"Edward, what's happened?"

His nostrils flared as his breathing became deeper, shallower.

"Nothing that concerns you," He shot back at Carlisle.

"I'm not letting you leave like this."

"Why not? Shouldn't you know already?" He scoffed as I shook my head, bracing myself for the argument ahead.

"If I knew I wouldn't ask. What's affected you so badly?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"You want to know do you?" He tested. "You want to know what made me react like I have," he spat.

Carlisle demure stayed calm as he awaited an answer.

"Carlisle, today, tell me who you saw." Carlisle's eyes flashed with recognition before he composed himself. "You know who I'm talking about." The bronze haired boy leaned back on the edge of the door way.

"My usual patients..."

"Yes, but the woman."

"Who? Dianna Rose?"

Edward gave a sharp nod, his eyes narrow. "And what did you treat her for?" Carlisle ran his hand through his pale hair before responding.

"Broken ribs..."

"And?" He pressed.

"A black eye and a deepish cut. It needed three stitches, that's all."

"And do you know why she needed these stitches, the ribs strapped?" Carlisle was beginning to get annoyed.

"I don't delve into my patients' personal circumstances."

"Well maybe you should." Edward ignored his comment. "After all, have you asked how she received them?"

"She fell down the stairs." His voice betrayed his calm features and I could hear the pain behind the words.

"You don't believe it though, do you?" Edward exclaimed.

"Of course I don't, but you tell me this. What do you expect me to do?" He raised his voice, which was alarming, considering Carlisle barely, if ever, did it at all.

"I expect you to confront the problem."

Carlisle started pacing, his eyes pained. "Don't you think I've thought of doing that? Don't you think I've worked out _who _the problem is?" Realisation dawned on me.

"She's being abused, isn't she?" My voice seemed so quiet in the sudden war zone.

Edward's eyes found mine, Carlisle stopped in his track, breaking his rhythm.

"Yes." Was the only answer I needed and expected to hear.

"Esme, I couldn't tell you," Carlisle's soothing voice broke through the tension.

"I understand. But Carlisle, I'm stronger than before."

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be..."

"He should," Edward butted in. My scrutinising eyes found his.

"Why?"

His body turned slightly so he was addressing Carlisle.

"Because this...doctor, this man who is so against damaging and wasting human life, does nothing about this Diana Rose." His voice was taunting.

"Don't Edward." Carlisle argued. "You can't expect me to help a cause which is already too far out of my control."

"You can stop it-

"I cannot." His voice was full of authority. "I am not the law, nor do I play God." Edward scoffed.

"Since when have you not played God? Haven't you already reversed the impossible?"

Carlisle's eyes burned with something I didn't understand. "I did not do it out of selfishness Edward. I saved you because your mother required me to. She told me to do all within my power, and so I did. I only did what your mother wished me to."

"And Esme?" I was completely ignored, as if they had forgotten that I was in the room.

"She deserved another chance. She was too young, she offered too much opportunity."

"And I thank you for saving me," I agreed.

"But you were lonely," Edward carried on, accusing Carlisle.

"No, I wasn't. I saw her there and Edward, the connection I felt was overwhelming. I knew she was my mate, I couldn't have just left her there."

"Connection..."

"You will understand when it happens to you." Edward threw the boomerang, looping back round to the start of their disagreement.

"Esme was the same though Carlisle, so why don't – won't – you help this woman?"

"Because I can't risk her condition already."

Edward tutted and I cut in.

"I understand where he's coming from Edward." I exhaled shakily. "When I was living with Charles, I couldn't bring myself to confess the truth to my doctor. I wasn't brave enough to go to the police for I knew, if he found out I had said anything, my life would've been in the balance."

Carlisle rubbed my back.

"So why are you so against putting the fiend in his place?"

"Because I don't know the position of the woman." Carlisle's breathing became uneven as he tried to calm himself down.

"I can't watch you look by Carlisle. Something has to be done." He sighed. "There are other women as well Carlisle other women who are petrified to go home, scared because they know what they do will lead them to a severe beating. Tell me how that's fair." He walked over to Edward, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's not." Edward shook his hand off, walking towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm going to stop this...problem. I can't watch these...monsters be allowed to walk on the face of this earth. People, especially women and children, need to feel safe. I can't watch the murderers and rapists walk away scot free, after all, you don't live with the thoughts. People don't need to suffer; by doing this I'm protecting their lives, their well being."

"Edward, don't, please." He looked pained. "I know what it's like to be in a position like that, but please, you must understand, they choose not to get help. It damages their cause even further." He walked back to me, placing his hands on my shoulder, leaning forwards and planting a kiss on my head.

"I'm sorry," he choked.

"You're leaving?" I cried.

"I can't stand by and see innocent people suffer Mum." He cupped my cheek before dropping his hand to his side and looking at Carlisle.

"Will you be back?" He asked.

"I don't know." He gave Father and icy stare before opening the door. "If I am back, you won't recognise the monster that returns." He took his leave, running out into the cold night air.

And then just like that, he was gone. I had lost another son, another loved one.

My knees buckled as Carlisle caught me in his arms. We fell to the floor together, and for the first time in my life, I felt, heard and saw Carlisle sob. I held him tighter as my chest shook harder.

"Shhh, baby, I understand." I stroked his hair, looking through venom filmed eyes.

"I should've been stronger." I kissed his cheek, capturing his face in both my hands, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

"He's old enough to look after himself. He wanted to go, would you have really stopped him?"

"No, I just..." He took a shaky breath. "I just didn't think it would be like this." I rested my head on his shoulder, my body still shaking, invisible tears still falling.

"Nor did I." I closed my eyes, feeling the tightness of Carlisle's arms around my body. "We just have to hope he sees sense." He slumped forwards in my arms, his shoulders hunched. Pain radiated from his despairing figure.

For the first time Carlisle had been destroyed by fate, and now I had to help him through it. Past experiences had made me experienced, stronger, and now with me by his side, I had to recover us from this downhill of life.

**A/N – It was only a matter of time until this would happen.**

**It's kind of sad, but it was unavoidable.**

**A big thanks to those who have left reviews, faved and added this story to their alert subscription!**

**Special thanks to:**

**Sha711**

**Kykio88**

**Milene Lira**

**Jessie07**

**Just4me**

**hopelessromanticgurl**

**TeamCarlisleandEsme8**

**BerryEbilBunny**

**If you like this chapter...Review! They're always appreciated! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	30. Right Choice

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Right choice.**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

I ran wildly through the trees that surrounded our – their – home. I could hear Esme's and Carlisle's heartbroken cries, and although my dead heart told me to turn back, my head told me different.

This time, and however much it pained me to do so, I followed my head, discarding my heart's desires.

"I'm sorry." The wind picked it up, but I knew they wouldn't hear. Their sobs became more broken as I ran further, away from everything – everyone – I knew. I couldn't stop though, I couldn't give in, for I knew, in the end, I had made the right choice.

The horizon ahead of me looked bleak, no colours, no light, just black. Black as my mind, and it scared me, for once in my life, it scared me.

I knew I shouldn't be scared. What I'm doing is saving the lives of innocents. I couldn't give into my conscience, my "human" self. It was time to do what I was created for, killing, defending...saving.

I took off again, into the black shroud which awaited me. Branches snapped as I ran past, my steel skin too hard for them to leave a mark. I could feel the stars' unforgiving stare as the bitter night air brushed over my face and through my hair. Animals stood silent, absurdly still, sensing the predator on the loose.

They were right to be scared, right to be fearful, for I, no matter how controlled I had previously been, was about to unleash the vampire within. And I knew my first target.

I kept a steady but fast path east northerly, going to the centre of town. I was on the search for a much greater demon than myself and that made my goal more plausible then what Carlisle would think. I had a purpose, and that was to rid this earth of demons like this...man.

I crept into town, using the different shades of greys and black to sneak through the night. Road side lamps shone dimly as I carried on my mission to _protect._

My feet carried me on to my target and the forbidden elixir I so needed. It wasn't clean, no, the blood wasn't clean, but I would have it.

Tommy Simons.

He was a good man in the public eye. Always the gentleman, the provider, the forgiver. I knew different, much different. His wife, Dianna Rose was his personal punching bag, his way to release his anger. She stayed so quiet, tip toeing around him, obeying his every command. If she didn't, she would be punished with his fist.

Always the woman, she her bruises over, in make-up and blusher. She was a shy soul, never saying much in public, always hiding behind her facade to look strong, to make herself believe she was stronger than she really was.

She wouldn't let the others see, let the others know about her home life. Her doctor, my previous father, had known, but he stood by. He stood by and let her get beaten like a rag doll; let her get pushed down the stairs, raped by her own...husband.

A feral hiss escaped my mouth, turning into a half strangled growl as I bounded towards the hotel room in which this being stayed. He was supposedly on a "business trip," but I had known better. His mistress, Margaret Sharp, was meant to meet him there, but to his surprise, he'd been stood up.

An evil grin passed my lips as I weaved my way through the alleys. My footsteps were non existence as I kept pushing myself further to my target. Tonight would be his last night on this earth, tomorrow would be his first day in hell. And, if it was any concern for me, he'd burn for a very long time.

Rain started to make its appearance, droplets painted the floor, shining in what light was available. Every droplet reflected the face of a monster, the face of a man who had given up on life. His eyes were black, black with anger and pain. This boy couldn't face seeing the world suffer at the hands of men like him, so now; this was his mission, ridding the planet of fiends and fakes.

I turned right, down a dead end, towards the ladder that framed the building wall. Either way, I would've made it up to his room, even if the ladder wasn't down. I was a killer, and this is what I was designed for.

Silently I scaled up the ladder and wall, jumping from windowsill to windowsill as I leapt like a monkey through the night. The smell of tobacco and liquor was clear as I made my way to his room. His thoughts were loud and clear. He was angry. Angry because he had been stood up and angry because he had nothing to unleash it on. Tonight this Dianna Rose was safe, and from tonight, she would always be safe.

_Stupid woman embarrassing me like that. How dare she, how __**dare **__she! I am the man in this relationship; she should be following __**my **__demands! _

His thoughts were loud as I continued my prowling. The window was within my reach as I jumped for a final time. He was within my grasp; his personal grim reaper was coming to give him a visit. His first and only visit.

The window slid up easily and without too much noise. It played to my advantage as Tommy was still in the shower, despairing over his lost evening.

I eased myself through the window, taking my place in the darkest corner of the room in the arm chair by the window. The curtains still weren't drawn, so I drew them for him. I doubt his small brain would notice the difference.

The shower stopped and muffled footsteps could be heard on a carpet floor. The door creaked open and a man with shabby brown hair appeared in the door way. His breaches were loosely hung around his hips and he had a shirt unbuttoned clad on his chest. He hadn't noticed me. Yet.

He came closer, going over to his bed side draw. Inside was a bottle of whisky. The already used cup was placed on the surface of the small cabinet waiting for another pouring.

This man, this human, who seemed so defenceless, was this woman's worst nightmare. Every night she would mentally pray to god for a miracle. A miracle that she would be saved from the hands of her _husband, _if only for one night.

A hiss slipped through my mouth. _Stupid, stupid, stupid _I reprimanded myself, _way to keep your cover. _

The lean man's eyes were immediately wary. They searched around the room, trying to find the secret intruder. They rolled from side to side in his skull until they found me.

My shadow was a silhouette against the wall, the lamp in the left most corner of his room not catching my figure what so ever. His eyes went wide for a moment, his heart beat increased and he started to clam up. Perfect.

"Who are you, what are you doing in here?" His voice was irritated, clipped. I could hear the hint of cowardice in his voice.

"I'm just...searching."

"Searching?"

"Yes...for a man..." His heart pounded harder.

He cleared his throat before starting. "And who is this man?"

"Hmm," I pondered, "you might know him..."

"Yes?" His shoulders were tensed and hunched as if he knew he was waiting for an attack.

"His name is Tommy Simons..."

Profanities escaped his mental filter before I could begin to catch readable sentences. _God, what happens if it's her husband? He looks too young, but looks can be deceiving. Who is he?_

"Oh sorry, I forgot to introduce myself." He gulped, loosening his collar. "I'm Edward..." I couldn't say my last name. Masen or Cullen; it wasn't right for what I was about to do.

"I'm Tommy Simons-

"Oh, I know." Venom dripped through the words. "I know perfectly well who you are." He shuffled back slightly, his hands trembling. I felt the evil grin I had suppressed spread back across my face; the light of the lamp caught half my face. From his thoughts I knew I looked like a demon. My teeth were glistening with venom and my eyes were black. My mouth was set in a locked position and my brow was creased with a slight frown.

"What do you want with me?" He moved back again so his back was against the wall.

"Nothing much...just a confession."

"Confession?" He choked.

I took my chance. In one fluid movement I was in front of him, teeth barred.

"I'm here for exactly one reason. That one reason in your _wife." _

He hissed at me and I placed a cold hand around his neck, slightly constricting his wind pipe. "My wife...has nothing...to...do...with you." His words came out breathlessly.

"Really?" I snorted. "Well, I didn't know she got beaten for nothing." He threw a right hook at me, screaming out in pain as his fist came into contact with my cheek. I heard the bones in his finger break and his breathing became shallow as his head span in dizziness.

"W-what are you?"

"I'm the last thing you'll see." I growled as he squirmed underneath my demanding hand.

"What are you going to do to me?" I leaned forwards so I could whisper in his ear.

"Make you pay."

I flung him to the other side of the room; he hit the wall with such impact that I was almost disappointed he could be dead already. Silently I leapt over to the convulsing body on the floor. He gasped his words.

"Why...me?"

My laugh was a cackle as I watched the pathetic creature on the floor.

"Because you wife, Tommy, doesn't deserve to be treated like she is." I bent down, dislocating his arm from his shoulder joint. "You don't deserve her." I cracked his forearm in-between my hands. "You beat her senseless for no entire reason." I grabbed his left leg, pulling his knee out of place. His cries of pain only fuelled the fire.

"You want me to stop?" I teased.

"Yes." He breathed.

"Well, I'm afraid that's not going to happen."

He whimpered as I moved closer to his other arm, my fingers trailing up his hot skin before I snapped his arm, his bone shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.

"You want _me _to stop, when you, _you _do this to your _own_ _wife!"_ I exclaimed, my voice raising a few decibels as I tried to stay invisible to the people next door, above and underneath us. I placed my foot on his femur, lightly pushing down, but it was enough to break the bone underneath the weak barrier of skin.

"Okay, okay!" He cried. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry?" I spat. "You're only sorry because you know this is how _hopeless _your wife feels." I took his other leg, continuing to dislocate and break bones of my own accord. "Because you know she has _no-one _to run to." His eyes lids fell heavy as I brushed forwards again towards his neck.

His pulse throbbed under his yellowy coloured skin.

"Say goodbye Tommy." I whispered my voice full of malice. "You have a golden ticket to hell." I hissed in his ear one more time before clamping my jaws around his neck. He whimpered, arching off the floor.

Venom mixed in with the blood pooling in my mouth. The aching at the back of my throat was extinguished and I finally felt quenched. For the first time in almost four years I had felt fulfilled.

The blood was like a sacred wine sliding easily down my throat, per delight. His body moved no more and finally the man who hunted this poor, poor woman was dead, gone, lost forever.

His limp body fitted in my arms easily as I picked him up, ready for the run ahead.

I would place his body in the forest; the bears could finish him off, well, what was left of him. Simple.

I raced through the night, the cool air a welcome relief. I did the right thing, maybe not in Carlisle's eyes, but in my eyes, I had done the right thing. I had saved another innocent. This was the right choice. This was justice.

**A/N – This chapter turned out a lot darker than intended so...**

**Edward's torn, but he won't admit it. He's ignoring what Carlisle would say or do to perform what he believes is justice. So...his morality is still there...deep within.**

**Anyways if you like this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	31. Torn

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Torn**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

The days that followed after Edward's departure were hard. Esme and I couldn't say, look or mention anything that reminded us of him. We were both heartbroken, and although I had known him longer, Esme was hurting more than me. She had just gained a son and now, through all this upheaval, she had lost another.

I dropped my head in my hands, my eyes closed. Every part of me mentally and physically was tired. Edward leaving had put its toll on me, especially Esme, and it was hard to get through the day without the need of screaming at the top of my lungs.

Esme and I, although we loved each other deeply, couldn't find it in us to stop arguing.

The first time it had happened I threw my hands up in the air, snapping them down by my sides in frustration. Esme immediately reacted. She flinched, physically ducked, while putting her arms over her face. She coward backwards and it broke my heart.

We were standing on completely separate sides of the room, the dining table in the middle of us. We were so far apart and yet she believed I would strike her. She believed _I _would _strike _her.

**(*Flashback*) **

"I don't know what's going to happen, Esme!" I exclaimed.

Her golden eyes snapped to my face, frustration leaking through. I could hear the worry in her voice.

"He doesn't know what he's doing!" She retorted. "He doesn't know how guilty he'll feel, no matter his reasons for killing them. It'll haunt him Carlisle!" She was pleading with me, her features and eyes, her voice desperate. "You don't know how much this could affect him..." She whispered, broken.

"I know Esme..." I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. "But it was _his _choice. He knew what he would have to face."

Her hair fell over her shoulder, covering her face as she looked at her feet. "He wasn't thinking straight, he's so unprepared." I wanted to go over and scoop her in my arms, but I couldn't because I knew the comfort I wanted to offer wasn't true. It wasn't true to me or her, and it hurt, it hurt a lot.

"I know."

"So _help him!" _She nearly screamed it; the frustration she had been holding back finally got the better of her.

My hands were still placed over my head. I threw them down to my sides. "No!" I retaliated.

Her hands flew up to shield her face; her body crouched as she coward, ducking, ready for some invisible hand. A sob broke free from her chest, and she sank to the floor. My hands froze, I froze. This couldn't be happening. No. Surely she couldn't believe I would hurt _her. _I would rather _die_ than lay a hand on the vulnerable creature that lay in front of me. I would _never _do such a thing.

"Esme..." I whispered. "I-I'm sorry..." I started to walk towards her; she pushed back ever so slightly, a whimper making its way from her mouth. "Darling I'm so, so sorry." I crouched down in front of her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, but she flinched, catching my gaze for a second before dropping her hands down. "I don't know what came over me..." I reached out, pulling her into me; her breathing was ragged as I stroked her hair. "I would never strike you." She balled my shirt up in fists as she continued to shake.

"I k-know." She replied. "It w-was just a r-reaction." I rocked her back and forth, sobs building in my chest. "I just, for a split second, saw Charles. It scared me; I didn't know what else to do..." She murmured into my chest. My body shook with anger and sadness.

This man still lived, still breathed and yet he had caused her the most damage. He walked this earth, he gave her what she wanted while I couldn't, and he treated her like an animal!

"I'm not like him. Never. I would _never_ do such a thing." She peeked up at me, curls spilling over shoulders.

"I know you wouldn't. I just have to break the habit. It was an involuntary reaction." She cupped my cheek with one of her hands. I leaned into it, the comfort a welcome feeling. "It's something I still need to work on, I'm sorry I did this to you."

"Don't be sorry-

"But it – I – hurt you. I can see it in your eyes." She brushed her thumb over my cheek.

"Please, don't blame yourself."

She sighed, her breath hitting my face. "But it was my fault...I'm _so weak!" _She hung her head and I kissed her temple, brushing ringlets away from her face.

"You're not weak."

"I am. I can't stay strong for you or myself, Carlisle, and I should." She sighed. "I should be able to, but I'm lost, Carlisle. I don't know how to feel. I'm numb, like when my boy died, I'm numb." I rubbed her back.

"We'll get through this." She leaned into my chest. "Together."

"I hope so, Carlisle, I really do." She wrapped her small arms around my torso, whispering, "And I hope Edward does too."

**(*End of Flashback*)**

I growled as I scrunched up my report underneath my hand.

How could Edward do this to us? He knew how much we cared about him. How could he leave Esme like that? How could he leave me like this?

"Carlisle?" A soft voice disrupted me from my thoughts. Esme stood at the door way, peering in. "Are you alright?" I opened my arms out as she walked towards me.

Pulling her onto my lap, I began. "Truthfully, no, I'm not, Esme." She stroked my hands which were wrapped around her small frame.

"Nor am I, Carlisle. I miss him." I nuzzled the back of her neck, closing my eyes. "I miss him a lot." She leaned back so were one. Our two bodies fit snugly together, like we had been carved just for each other's touches.

"He'll come back..." I stated to myself. "...He's not like that. He knows the guilt behind his actions." She twisted round to face me, handing me the local news paper.

"Are you sure?" She questioned. "Because it really looks like he's prepared to live this way. Look." I ran my eyes over the cover.

_**THREE DEATHS IN ONE WEEK! WILL IT HAPPEN AGAIN? **_

I shook my head, reading the text underneath.

_Tommy Simons, Jonathon McCrealy and Andrew Weston have been found dead in less than one week, all appearing in the same location, down by Red Deer river valley. No-one knows what or maybe who have caused these deaths, police suspect a bear attack, but suspicions are high._

_If you know anything about this occurrence, please inform the police. Your help will definitely aid us in the long run._

_Thank you for your time, _

_Simon Baker,_

_Chief of police._

I held Esme tighter as she kissed my hair.

"If you say he'll come home, I believe you. It's just hard to comprehend at the moment. I really want to believe you..."

"I want to believe it as well Esme, believe me. I want to believe as well."

We sat together for a while, obtaining comfort in each. No words could describe the loss we felt, and for the first time I was tasting just a small amount of what Esme had suffered when she lost her new born. It was bittersweet in a way.

I felt lost, as I know she did as well. Lost and almost scared to think of what Edward would do next. He was unprepared, so unprepared, and I wouldn't be there to help him.

"Come on baby." Esme slid off my lap, capturing my hand in hers, kissing my knuckles as she pulled me from my chair. "Let's get out of here."

I followed her through the hallway and into the living room. Edward's piano stood silently in the corner without a player. Esme rubbed my arm, my eyes scanning the instrument.

"I know." She kissed my cheek. "It's horrible."

I looked at my wife, the stronger partner. She held herself together better than I could.

"Where we going?"

"For a walk." She wrapped my scarf around my neck, her soft smile calming my tortured thoughts. We left the house behind us, left the memories and walked towards the horizon where I was sure, had to be a better tomorrow.

**A/N – Carlisle's torn! Poor Carlisle, I feel so bad for him, but I think he would feel like this. After all, Edward was his first companion and "child."**

**Thanks for the reviews so far guys! They mean a lot to me, I'm glad you're enjoying this story!**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	32. Talk to me

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Talk to me.**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

"Where are we going?"

"For a walk."

I linked my hand with his, our fingers weaving together. His muscles were tense in his shoulders, as if he was carrying both his and my grief.

"Carlisle..." He pulled me closer as I wrapped an arm around his broad shoulders. "Relax a little, you're so...tense."

He breathed out, his chest falling and shoulders falling.

"There we go." I kissed his cheek, his features were thoughtful. My hands rubbed his shoulders.

Carlisle was always so strong, so...determined with what he wanted to do. Now, as Edward rebelled against us, he wasn't so sure. He hadn't told me directly, but I knew. This wasn't Carlisle. Carlisle was the man who had saved two souls, who had saved two people from unfortunate events. Now, with Edward's absence, he had started to distance himself. Even if he hadn't realised it, he had distanced his self from me and from his work.

He wouldn't open up to me about how he truly felt, and I knew how much he was hurting, but he wouldn't show it, and, however much I wouldn't dare say, it annoyed me. I was his wife, his soul mate and he wouldn't even open up to me.

"Carlisle-

"Look, Esme, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"About the other night, I didn't mean to, it was stu-

"Carlisle, don't, it was nothing."

"But I feel so guilty..."

"Well don't." I stood in front of him cupping his cheek so he had to stop too. "It's in the past, it was unintentional, and it was my fault as well." He smiled softly, his eyes gaining some of the sparkle he had lost. "There we go." I stoked his cheek with my thumb, my smile matching his. "That's the Carlisle I know and love." He tucked a ringlet behind my ear.

"I love you." I gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"Love you more." His smile grew wider and I took his hand again and led us further into the forest.

"Esme, where are we going?"

"Just follow me." His fingers tightened around mine as I pulled us further into the gem forest. His breathing was finally regular again, and his eyes held a little sparkle as his lips curved into a gentle smile.

Trees surrounded us in all directions. Different greens harmonised together as birds flitted from tree to tree, their songs filling the gloomy day with an invisible sunshine.

In front of us was a lake. Unlike the one in Denali though, this one was much smaller and only inhabited one cliff. From this cliff though, a crystal blue waterfall fell, hitting the water with a soft pelting sound. It's sound soothing.

"Here we are." I dropped his hand from mine, smiling at the scene before us.

"Esme...I never knew..."

"This existed?" I finished off.

"Yes..." His smile was as wide as the Cheshire's cat as he pulled me into him, pressing a kiss to my hair. "I can't believe I never knew." He muttered.

"I know you didn't. I just needed to give you a present." His hold became tighter.

"It's stunning Esme, just like you." My arms wrapped around him on their own accord. His scent was intoxicating.

"Can I show you something else?" He looked down at me, his eyes questioning.

"There's more."

I smiled up at him. "Yes."

His hand found mine again, and I practically dragged him over to the face of the cliff. Water splashed us and our clothes eventually we were drenched. Laughter echoed off the cliff wall as he caught my waist, twirling me around.

"We're...not...there...yet." I managed to gasp out between laughter.

"Okay then...show me." He put me back on his feet but his arms were still snaked around my waist.

I placed my hand around his wrist, pulling him further towards my secret destination. I knew where I was heading. It was towards the cave behind the small waterfall. It was hidden by the froth and steam that fell in front of it.

No-one knew it was there, I was sure. Even if someone had, no-one had even bothered to go in except the odd animal, but it was free from habitants at the moment.

To me it was perfect. I could go there to think and be at peace. I hadn't thought to tell Carlisle, he was always at work lately. His patient had just barely pulled out of surgery and he was still in intensive care. It was a fragile situation, one which I couldn't afford to distract him from.

But now, as his worries took hold of him, this was the opportune moment.

"Here." I led us around the jetting out rock just left of the entrance, look back at his reaction.

His mouth was agape, his eyes taking everything in. His features were thoughtful.

"Esme...I...it's beautiful."

"You like it?" I cupped his cheek.

"Like it? Oh Darling, I love it. Thank you." I ran my other hand through his silk hair.

"It was a pleasure Carlisle. I just...you needed this." He pulled me in to his chest resting his chin on my head, murmuring quietly.

"You're right." He sighed. "I just feel like I've abandoned you these past few days. It was horrible of me."

"No Carlisle, your job is too important. Your absence, I know, doesn't mean you've abandoned me..." I looked up at him and he knew what was coming.

"But..."

"But I'd wish you'd just talk to me. Open up. I'm your wife; your feelings affect me too!" It felt so good to get it off my chest, but the look in his eyes were hurt.

He leaned down so we were eye to eye. "I would tell you anything." I looked at my feet, guilty, but he put two fingers under my chin, lifting my head up again. "Trust me, I would." I stoked the back of my hand over his chest, feeling his muscles respond with my touch.

"I know, but it just feels like you don't want to show the grief. I know you're hurting." His lips were close to mine, our bodies even closer.

"Esme..." I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes?"

"Kiss me?"

His lips found mine and unlike before, this was different. The kiss was needy, hungry...uncontrolled. My response was just as eager as his.

"Carlisle." I breathed out. He trailed hot kisses along my jaw bone and down my neck.

"Mmm?"

"Let's go somewhere more private."

He picked me up, leading us into the secret cave behind the water fall, my legs automatically wrapped around his waist.

"Very nice." I smiled as he continued to kiss down my neck and back up. A beam of light was generously allowed in through the gaps at the back of the cave. They were only small, like someone had shot the wall with bullets, but it let enough light in so we could see where we were going, even if darkness wasn't that much of a problem anymore, the glow it created was appropriate for this moment.

"Carlisle?" He placed me back down, cupping my cheeks with both hands.

"Talk to me."

He placed his hands around my torso pushing me back so my back was against the wall, his lips found mine again, and sudden déjà vu was replaced with lust.

"I feel...angry." He kissed along my jaw line, his hands tightening around my hips. "Annoyed." His hands travelled further up my skirt. "Betrayed." He explored further travelling across my body towards my back, as he started to unbutton my bodice.

"What...else?"

"Lost." My bodice fell to the floor as his fingers worked on my skirt. "Frustrated." My skirt was next to follow as I unbuttoned his shirt revealing his muscles which never ceased to amaze me. "Insecure." I let my hands fall down his torso towards his trouser line. "Needy."

"And..." I kissed his lips softly, moving down his neck towards his collar bone. His breathing increased.

"Pressured."He moved his hands underneath the last piece clothing that covered my body, moving upwards and over my head. "Distant." I moaned as he grinded against me. "Unconnected." He removed my last item of clothing as I removed his. It was like a scene from Adam and Eve. His hands moved lower and my legs parted automatically. "What about you?" He questioned in a husky whisper.

"Upset." He moved, if possible, closer to me. He was so ready, ready for release, for freedom.

"And..."

"Hurt." He moaned as I wrapped one leg around his waist. "Unsure." He started to trail kisses further down, over my chest and breasts. "Worried." He pushed further, asking for my permission which I gladly gave.

He entered me slowly, his eyes burning with passion as he placed his hands on the wall behind me so they were either side of me. My back arched towards his chest and he went deeper.

"Esme..." Our lips joined again, out tongues exploring each other's mouths. His taste never ceased to excite me.

"Carlisle..." I thrust against him as he rocked faster.

This was different than before. It was erotic, untamed, animalistic. His movements were almost desperate, looking for more intimacy. Like me. I was desperate. Every problem we had faced, all the stress that put us down was released in this moment of need, of want. We both put everything we had into this moment.

"I love you..." He panted. I answered him with a kiss, afraid to respond unless I lost it too soon. His movements grew faster, harder and I threw my head back. Scenes like this just didn't seem real, and yet, here I was with the person I loved in the most spectacular setting.

"Please..." I gasped. He picked me up, and finally I lost it. I went over the edge, my head spinning from complete ecstasy.

He thrust forwards once more before he joint me in a sea of completeness. My limbs felt like jelly as he collapsed into my arms. We were complete, we were one.

I ran my hands through my hair, his soul shining through his orbs.

"How do you feel?"

"Relieved, collected." I smiled at him.

"There you are." His thumb stroked my cheek lightly.

"I feel found."

**A/N – Well, I think this chapter was needed in a way to bring back normality for Carlisle and Esme, and so they could relieve their stress through one another.**

**Thanks to those who are reading, reviewing, subscribing and faving. It means a lot!**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	33. You

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**You**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

I snapped his neck in one swift moment, the blood draining from his gaunt cheeks. Another danger was prevented, another monster had vanished.

Carefully I picked up the dead body, not bothering to drink from him. I jumped out of the window easily, the black skies of night, my perfect disguise. This man had deserved what he got. His daughter wouldn't need to fear him anymore; his wife would finally be at rest. Her daughter was safe from him and his ways.

I ran southwest towards the forest that boarded the main road. No-one would find him, unlike the others, he had no hope in being found or buried.

A smile I had gotten to know so well spread across my face as I thought of the many accomplishments I had made. So many people had been saved and it was all because of _me._ This smile, however, was not one of malice, but of pride. Sick and twisted, but I was a machine, designed to kill, and however hard I tried to think different, this smile was natural.

I caught my reflection in a passing window. My eyes were a vibrant red; my hair was messy and full of dirt. My eyes no longer held shadows underneath them as I was always quenched from the thirst that tormented me so badly. This was how I should always feel. Nothing could compare to human blood. Nothing.

I weaved through the trees easily, dropping the body into a local lake, something I never knew Columbus had inhabited until I arrived here. Making sure it wouldn't resurface, I placed a bolder on top. He was gone forever, and although it hurt me to know his daughter was now orphaned, I had to realise she had some hope.

I crouched down, cupping my hands through my water and splashing my face. Everything was beginning to get too much. I was – and although I hated to admit it – lonely. I had no companionship, no-one to harbour the anger with me. Instead I carried the horrors with me every day. Every time I bit down into someone's fragile neck, Carlisle's face plagued my mind. Every time I snapped someone's bones, Esme's concerned face came into view. I missed them, more than what I could bring myself to believe, and one day, I hoped, I would see them again. That was only if they were willing to see me, accept me...forgive me.

A deep sigh escaped my chest and I closed my eyes, digging my fingers through the soft soil beside me.

I was here for one thing – one person – only, and I couldn't let these...distractions get in my way. I had to be stronger for myself, no matter what happened. This was my "life" and I had to choose how to lead it.

I turned around on my heels, still crouched. I caught the scent of town east from where I was. Slowly I erected myself, my plan already forming in my head.

It would be easy, I knew. Too easy which was disappointing at the most. He would suffer, more than anyone had before, but his fragile body would probably give up on me before the fun really started. I would have to unfold this evening delicately, bide my time.

The house, or rather man, I targeted was pretty...normal. The house was quite old, its structure starting to fall apart. The wood was decaying and moss grew randomly around the foundations. The door was literally hanging off its hinges, and windows had been bordered up. It was perfect for me. No-one would think someone actually lived there, so, if they didn't particularly notice, who would miss him? Oh yes, no-one.

I followed my legs as they led me to this degraded neighbourhood. It had once been a respected place in town, but now as depression started to take hold ever so slightly, it had started to go downhill, quickly and badly.

Of course, like all victims though, I heard him before I saw him. His voice was gruff as he argued down the phone to what sounded like his lawyer.

"No, I don't have any money left!" He exclaimed.

I strained to hear what the response was, so I moved closer.

"...bankrupt." Was all I caught.

"That's not my problem!" His voice was angry and fed up. He slurred his words together making it difficult to decipher words from one another.

"I'm not arguing with you."

"Then leave me alone!" He shouted before smashing the phone back down on the receiver.

Clumsy footsteps made their way into the main room. A dim light was switched on, flickering as it made up its mind to stay on or not.

I crept up the porch stairs towards the front door. Number 54. I wrapped my thin fingers around the door knob, twisting it slightly from side to side. The man inside paused, the shuffling of his feet completely stopped. His heart beat increased and so did his breathing.

"I'm just imagining things." He muttered to himself.

A small but harsh laugh fell from my lips as I pushed myself against the wooden door. The double bolts broke with little pressure and the depressing man moved further back in the room, tripping over something in his haste.

I twisted the door knob again, letting it ease open. The coward I knew this place housed was shivering in the back right corner of the room. He whimpered as I let myself walk further. The door was left open behind me, but I didn't care.

"Who are you?" His voice was shaky.

"A...friend of a friend..."

"Friend of a friend?" His tone raised a view octaves as sweat broke out on his forehead.

"Yes."

"Who is this friend?" He edged slowly towards a faded grey jacket, hanging on a coat hanger by the stairs. I knew what he was going for. The gun was half out, half in the side pocket.

I scoffed and he froze.

"What?" He demanded.

"As you were." He swung round suddenly, grabbing his gun from his pocket.

He pointed in the direction of my head. The gun trembled slightly as his hand shook.

"I'm not here to have a friendly conversation. Who are you?" He growled.

I laughed sharply. "You don't remember?" I snaked myself towards him so I was in his face.

His eyes widened with fear and realisation. "No..."

_It's him, the...boy...from the funeral. How did he find me? Oh god._

"Yes, I am _that boy. _I don't realise why you're so...surprised."

One finger was rested on the latch, the other on the trigger. "What do you want?" I walked in closer and his finger twitched. "I will shoot you." I grabbed his neck, pushing him up against the wall.

"No you won't. Even if you did, would it really destroy _me_? Kill _me?_" A whimper escaped his throat as a smile spread across my face. "Exactly." I snatched the gun from his hand, shattering it in my hand. The bullets fell to the floor.

"What do you want with me?" I bent was neck so we were face to face. His eye lids snatched shut.

"Do I scare you?" His eyes opened slightly, my ruby orbs shone like fireworks in his eyes. He didn't answer, instead, he begged.

"Please..."

"Please what, hey?" I increased my grip around his neck, barring my teeth.

"Let me go."

I dropped him to the floor, kicking his side hard enough to crack his ribs. He wailed as I made impact.

"No, I won't, because at the end of the day, I'm here for _you. _Charles Evenson."

A scream erupted from his chest and a vicious laugh cut through the intense atmosphere.

"This is justice."

**A/N – A shortish chapter, but impact was needed. Well, I hope I created that. For all of those who might think there wasn't enough detail into Charles' demise, I promise, Esme will find out what happened...and so will you in later chapters. I promise.**

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews so far guys, and if you enjoyed this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :) **


	34. Home

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Home**

**Esme's P.O.V**

**(5 months later.)**

I ran my thumb over the pages of the calendar, stopping at August. I got a pin and hung it up, counting the days since Edward had left. It had been almost five and a half months ago. I sighed as I crossed yet another square off. Where was he?

Carlisle was at work and so the only thing I could do was read or draw, and usually it didn't keep me very occupied for long. Sudden heavy rain had cause my plants to fail and I wasn't too pleased about that either. I literally had _nothing _to do.

"Stupid rain," I muttered to myself. I swear I heard someone laugh as I passed the window, but I knew that wasn't possible, no-one was here, unless it was another vampire...

My body automatically coiled, ready for an attack. It made walking around the house without pouncing at anything very hard.

"Come on now Esme, you're being stupid..." I sighed as I folded out the creases in my skirt. "Who's going to possibly attack you in a secluded house in Canada? Not very many people if you ask me." I shook my head, an exasperated smile pulling up the corners of my mouth. I could really be stupid at times.

But then I heard it, the kitchen door banging every so softly against the door frame. Immediately, I changed direction, running – well jogging – back in the direction I had just come. I turned the last corner and the door was swinging softly on its hinges. I looked around the small space. Nothing had been moved or taken, but how? How did this person or even animal get in? The door was locked and so were the windows. I felt a shiver go down my spine. Maybe it was another vampire.

I cautiously walked a few steps forwards, examining the kitchen properly. I checked every nook and cranny there was, but no, there wasn't any difference. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths in. It couldn't be Charles, I knew that much. He had come to my supposed "funeral." He had seen my boy's grave, my head stone, unless...

"No, Esme," I argued with myself. "He's gone."

I blinked my eyes open again, my hands wringing together. Continuing my half crouch around the kitchen, I managed to get round to the island at the far end, by the windows. My skin glowed unnaturally as the muted light hit it. _At least the sun's behind the clouds, _I thought.

When I was sure everything was safe I started to make my way back to the living room. I was about to open the door when something caught the corner of my eyes. It fluttered off the oak table, falling gracefully to the floor. Being me I couldn't leave it, no, instead I curiously made my way over to where it had landed. The first thing I saw was a name, a name in considerably big letters with smaller text underneath. It was a news report? Surely not... It was though, but the date was wrong, it was dated nearly for four months earlier. _Wednesday April 12__th__ 1922._

My hands quivered slightly, my head spinning as I scanned over the words.

_**MAN FOUND DEAD IN HOME. LOCAL COMMUNITY IS STUMPED IN WHO THE MUREDERER COULD BE! Could it really be an ANIMAL attack like police claim?**_

_In the early hours of Monday morning, Charles Evenson, a respected man in Columbus' business sector, was found dead in his home. Reports believe it could be an animal attack, but what could an animal of this nature be lurking so far into town for?_

_Now, you have your views, but we have ours. Police claim this is more likely to be a bear attack then a murder, but why would a bear be so far into the city? It all sounds a little fishy to be honest with you, dear reader._

_It is heard that before the attack, Mr. Evenson was having a little disagreement with his Lawyer. It is believed now he was bankrupt. _

A gasp left my mouth, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the text. Bankrupt...dead?

_So, this leads us onto more pressing questions. Was it homicide, an animal attack or suicide?_

_The last option is probably the more likely one hearing Mr. Evenson's circumstances, but when we come to examine his injuries, you may think twice._

_You see, Mr. Evenson didn't have the typical suicide injuries, that is unless you try cracking every bone in your body. Yes, you read that write._

_This respected man was found limp, folded over in the most unnatural position; cops had come out with green faces, some physically throwing up._

_So we come to the beginning again. Was it a bear attack that caused his body to be assaulted like that, or was it murder? The second option seems extremely logical now._

_Not only was every bone broking and his skull crushed in, but a moon arched scar was found on his neck, underneath his ear, and it is claimed that no blood was present in his body. His distraught wide was informed on Tuesday morning as she returned home from her parent's house._

_Gracie Jones said it is "devastatingly upsetting."_

_We can only hope now, that the police find this mad man before he strikes again. Fear has been stricken into the hearts of all the citizens of Columbus, the whole state in fact._

_So, as I leave you now, I'll ask you again; was it homicide, or was it an animal attack? _

The thin piece of paper fell from my uncontrollable hands. They were shaking so much I felt as if I were fitting. I couldn't concentrate on anything. Only one word came into mind as I tried to come to terms with what I had just read.

Edward.

Edward had done this; I knew that for a fact_. __"__I can't watch these...monsters be allowed to walk on the face of this earth...People don't need to suffer; by doing this I'm protecting their lives, their well being." _His words hung poignantly in the air, suffering me with their existence, haunting me as I remembered the threat behind them. He had actually done what he had said; he had actually..._killed_...these people.

"Mum?" A quiet voice came from behind me. I hadn't realised how long I had been stood, frozen, staring at my empty but shaking hands. "Please," It continued.

Slowly I turned around. A bronze headed boy stood in front of me. His clothes were worn and dirty, torn in different places. His lovely hair was dishevelled with dirt and his face looked tired, too old for his age. His eyes only gave away his guilt, and it struck me deep to see his eyes a red I knew they should never have needed to be. I tried to speak, but no words came out. I cleared my throat, but his name came out almost half strangled.

"Edward?" I breathed.

Without thinking I walked forwards, my arms open. I didn't care what he had done, because for now, nothing else mattered. I was welcoming home my son. My son had come back, and my world seemed to come together again. Everything seemed to function normally again.

He walked into my embrace, melting to the floor in my arms. I fell with him as I stroked his hair, alternating between kisses.

"Edward," I whispered again. I was scared this was just a dream, that he would suddenly disappear again.

"Mum, I'm sorry," He mumbled into the crook of my neck.

I cupped his face in my hands, locking our eyes. "I don't care Edward, you're home, you've come back." A wobbly smile spread across my face as he placed his head on my shoulder. His body started shaking and I knew he was crying.

"Mum, I've killed so many people," He sobbed. "I don't deserve your acceptance!" He exclaimed angrily.

My hold became tighter as his body shook harder. "You deserve my love because you are my son. You may have done some terrible things, but never, _never, _would I turn you away. You did these things because you had the right intention, you aren't bad, Edward."

He growled as I finished. "But look at me! Look at my _eyes! _I'm _evil, _I'm a _monster!"_

"No," I shouted. "You are a good soul, a person who has made the wrong decision. This...mistake...doesn't make you a horror of this planet. No..." I rocked him gently in my arms as he clung to me for dear life. "You regret it don't you?" He looked up at me, his eyes watery with tears I knew he wouldn't cry.

"I didn't think I would feel so..._guilty!" _I ran my free hand through his hair again.

"That's Carlisle for you." His famous crooked smile twitched his lips involuntary upwards. "There you are."

I stroked his cheek with my thumb; we were still linked together on the kitchen floor. "Never do that to me again," I demanded.

"Edward?" Carlisle appeared around the corner of the island. His medical bag fell from his hand and his mouth was agape. He walked towards us before dropping onto his knees and wrapping his arms around us both. "Where have you been?" His voice was worried.

"Dad, I've missed you..." He embraced his son more fiercely.

"Not as much as I've missed you," He sighed. "You've kept me so scared. I..." He was speechless as he just cradled his boy in his arms.

They held onto each other tighter as I smiled. We were all together, we were a family again, we were one, and Edward was home.

"I forgive you, son." Carlisle's voice drifted through the kitchen and for the first time in nearly half a year, I felt complete.

**A/N – Yay! Edward's back. I think it was getting slightly depressing without him.**

**Now we know how Charles died...**

**Thanks to those who have reviewed and faved!**

**Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it. If you did, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	35. Explanations

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Explanations**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

Carlisle's voice ran throughout the suddenly small room. I felt so...naked – wrong – in front of the two people who embraced me now.

"Where have you been?" Carlisle's voice was full of heartbreaking worry and it made me feel even smaller than I already was.

"I don't know," I mumbled. It was too quiet for Carlisle or Esme to hear but it was true. I didn't know who I had been during the last past few months, let alone the depth of despair I had left them lingering on.

"Never do that to me again," he reprimanded. An innocent smile pulled up the corners of my mouth. He sounded exactly like Esme.

"I promise," I whispered. He held me tighter as Esme kissed my hair, rubbing my back.

"Come on, darling," Esme breathed.

She grasped my hand ever so gently rubbing circles on the top with her thumb.

"Talk to us," she continued.

I looked down as she led us through to the living room. My eyes seemed to be burning invisible holes of shame through the walls in front of me. I couldn't lift my head; my guilt was too heavy for that.

"Edward, please, you can talk to us," Carlisle began.

"I know," I finished. "It's just..." I trailed off, gulping the venom that flooded my mouth. They deserved better than me. "You just...you shouldn't be so _accepting!" _I exclaimed. "I've killed so many people, Carlisle, why can't you just be _angry, _why can't you just _hate _me?"

Carlisle sighed, his brow furrowing with annoyance. Esme copied him, her sigh long and thoughtful.

"We _can't_ hate you," she finally said. "No matter what you've done, who you killed, we just can't find it in us to hate you."

"But why?" I roared. "I've got blood on my hands, I'm a cold blooded killer," I shouted. I felt Esme flinch slightly from behind me, her eyes were wary even though her thoughts assured me she wasn't scared.

_Reflex, I'm working on it._

I nodded in response, my face guilt ridden as she kept apologising.

"Sorry," I whispered hoarsely. She linked her fingers with mine.

"I don't need you to be sorry Edward, I need you to talk to me," she replied, simply.

I pulled away, standing by the window. I could hear the springs in the sofa as they sat down. I looked back over my shoulder, they too were nervous with what I was about to tell them.

"If you want us to be angry Edward, we can be." Carlisle's voice was completely serious. "We choose not to be because we love you."

I inhaled deeply, my grip increased on the windowsill.

"I can't tell you..." I replied slowly. "You'll despise me," I insisted.

"Edward, when I told Carlisle about my past, did he turn me away?" Esme's voice was calm and gentle but the control was evident.

"No," I replied.

"Then listen to me, like Carlisle listened to you all those months ago while you were explaining my situation. Some things may hurt us to know, but we _love _you." Esme pleaded.

I smiled a nostalgic smile. Those early days were so painfully slow to get through, no-one declaring their real emotions, skeletons still hiding in the cupboard.

"I..."

"You..." Carlisle pressed.

"I killed many scum bags, many horrors of this world," I started slowly.

"Because?" Esme questioned.

"...Because their existence put others in danger. I couldn't watch the innocent suffer from the hands of demons I knew would cause harm. Rapists, abusers, everyone I put to death..." I stalled, picturing their faces in my mind.

"We're not ashamed of you," Carlisle assured.

I scoffed, slightly baffled at his calm exposure."Well, I tortured them, slowly. I let my anger unleash on the world and the rats within it. I unleashed the inner monster I am on these pathetic humans and I hate it!" I felt my breathing become ragged.

"Why?"

"I hate it because I spent my time on these murderers! I could've stayed with you, and instead I wasted nearly half a year of my non-existent life to avenge innocent people's lives!"

"Why, then, is it a bad thing that you tried to protect these people?"

"It's not bad," I retorted.

"Do you regret it?"

"No, yes, I don't know. It's just, I tried, and however hard I worked, I know I'll never be able to stop these animals completely. I can't destroy them all, and although I have gained something from this, people will still be vulnerable." I sighed as I dropped my hands to my sides, turning round to face my parent's gaze.

Esme nodded slowly, and Carlisle was thoughtful.

"I see my son," Carlisle finally said. "I see your...problem." I walked up to him, kneeling down in front of him. I was pleading for his forgiveness, even if I hadn't voiced it.

"You had the right intention," Esme added from beside him, her hands on his chest.

"But then why, _why_, did I spend so long doing something so ineffective?" I mumbled to myself.

"You did it, Edward, because you cared," Esme replied shortly. "You may think you don't have a soul, son, but when you put your life on hold to help others, I think that shows for something."

I rested my head on her lap as she stroked my hair absentmindedly.

"If you didn't have a soul, you wouldn't care less about the suffering around you," she finished, kissing my head.

"But, have I made things worse?" I queried.

I felt Carlisle's hands underneath my arms as he pulled me up onto the sofa with them.

"I'm not disappointed in you because there's nothing to be disappointed in. You did what you did because your anger controlled you. We had to let you go to figure things out. Holding you back wouldn't have helped you, it would've developed more anger on your behalf." I went to speak but he cut me off. "You went and did what you did, and although your actions, in my old ways, would've been atrocious, I know why you did such things. Unlike you, son, I can't do the same as you. I want to destroy the vermin of this world as badly as you did, but my hands are made for healing, not killing."

"I want my hands to do the same, father," I insecurely whispered. "I want to be a better person."

He rubbed my back, his lips twitching slightly.

"You're still my-self doubting Edward."

"Always have been, always will be, even if I have lost myself."

"Well, we're here to help you find yourself again," Esme assured.

"I don't want to be alone again," I whimpered.

Esme's soft hand cupped my cheek as she smiled at me, pain still in her eyes.

"You won't be, and be assured; I don't want anyone different, Edward. I know you and I know your heart. You are a kind young man who is lost at heart, but we will find you again. You need to trust yourself first to move on." I looked at my mother as she stared into my undecided soul.

"Did I do the right thing?"

"Yes, in a way. You did it to protect and not harm, you were...undecided, and who can blame you?" Esme continued. "Those people you killed, they've done far more worse things than you ever have." There was steel to her voice now. "You killed them far quicker than what pain their victims suffered." I saw her fist ball up in her lap as she dropped the other from my cheek.

"I love you, mum." She kissed my hand, stroking my cheek with the other now her fists had uncurled.

"Come on." She arose from the love seat, my hand still in hers.

"Let's go sort your room out."

I followed her out of the room, nodding to Carlisle, before she led me up the steps.

"Everything you own is in there, your piano... at first we didn't know what to do with it, but it's in the garage now." Her voice sounded like bells flowing softly through the air.

"Thank you, Esme, for doing this I mean. After all, you didn't know if I'd come back..."

She opened the ochre door and I could tell no-one had been in here, everything smelt so _new_.

"You don't know how grateful I am towards you both." Her smile reached her eyes this time and she chuckled softly.

"That's what parents are for," she replied simply.

I smiled slightly back, still feeling wrong to be here in front of her.

"And Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I knew you'd come home."

**A/N – Quite short, but oh well.**

**I really wanted a sweetish chapter between Carlisle, Esme and Edward. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Thanks a tonne for all the reviews, faves and subs so far! It's means so much to me!**

**If you enjoyed this, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	36. Moving On

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Moving on**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

**(1928)**

Edward had finally come home, 5 years ago to this exact day. I was determined never to lose him again after that. He was home to stay and that was all that mattered, even if there was still that nagging doubt in the back of my mind that he could suddenly take off again.

"Esme, you know I won't." Edward walked in behind me, making me jump at the sudden interference in my thoughts.

"Edward," I sighed. "I didn't know you were there."

He walked towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I know you didn't," he replied. "But seriously, Esme, I promise I won't leave you again." I smiled at him placing my right hand on top of his which was placed on my left shoulder. "I love you and Carlisle too much to hurt you like that again," he whispered.

I stared at his reflection in the mirror. A watery smile was spread across my face.

"You'd better not."

He smiled back at me, kissing my cheek before looking back over his shoulder towards the door.

"Carlisle will be home soon," he mumbled absentmindedly.

"Have you got everything packed?" His eyes found mine again and he nodded reluctantly.

"Yes," he sighed. "It's just..." He trailed off, smiling.

"Just?"

"I don't want to leave," he finished.

"I know Edward, I know." I picked the brush up off the vanity desk, keeping my eyes on his reflection as I brushed my hair. "This place is just so..."

"Peaceful?"

"Yes, peaceful," I agreed.

The soft purring of an engine could be heard on the road which twisted its way to our secret house in the fringe of the forest.

"Looks like he's nearly here," Edward stated.

I hummed in response as the purring got even closer.

"I'll go pack the last of my things."

I flashed him my signature smile before he walked out of mine and Carlisle's room.

"Esme, what are you going to do?" I sighed to myself. "It's only eight hours;" you should be used to it now."

I chuckled under my breath, hearing the car pull up on the drive.

"You've become addicted, woman. Carlisle fever, that's for sure," I sighed while grabbing a hair band and tying my locks into a loose tail. Strands that didn't get captured by the band fell freely around my face.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look with that hairstyle?" The blonde god I had become so used to thinking of as my husband stood in the door way. The dim lighting pronounced his glorious body, and for a minute, my breath was taken away.

"Carlisle!" I squealed, before going over to him. He had his arms outstretched, imitating me. We both met and sank into each other's embrace.

"Carlisle fever," he whispered into my ear. "I like it." I smiled into his chest as he held me tighter.

"I've missed you," I sighed. He ran his hands through my hair, kissing me as he did.

"Not as much as I've missed you," he replied.

I pulled away from him to see his face. It was in a slight frown and I could tell something was wrong.

"Carlisle, what happened?"

He sighed, undoing his pale blue tie and dropping his medical bag by his feet. I grasped his hand in mine pulling us over to the bed we wouldn't be needing anymore.

"Carlisle, talk to me," I pushed.

His eyes flashed with an unknown pain before he began.

"Esme, you shouldn't worry yourself."

"Carlisle, something happened. I can tell...I know you too well."

He ran his hands over his face as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Today at work," he choked.

"Yes..."

He looked at me and the torture in his eyes made me flinch.

"There was a patient..." My eyes told him to go on. "She was only 28," he continued.

I rubbed his back in calming circles, but I could tell this wasn't going to be easy.

"Her little girl was five years old." And that's when he broke off. His shoulder started shaking and he buried his head into the crook of my neck.

"Carlisle..."

"F-five y-years old, Esme!" I held him tighter. "And I c-couldn't save h-her m-mum!" I whispered words of comfort in his ear.

"Carlisle, you are an amazing doctor. You've saved so many people, but darling, you can't save everyone," I breathed.

His eyes were burning with anger.

"Nearly two hundred years of medical training went down the drain today!"He exclaimed. I increased my hold on him and rested my head on his head. "Two hundred years," he whispered again.

I stroked his hair, kissing his scar that sat hidden underneath his collar.

"Tell me what happened," I began, timidly.

He shot me a questioning glance.

"You need to, otherwise this will torment you," I pushed.

His chest rose and fell as he sighed deeply. He kissed my cheek before beginning.

"She didn't need to die," he mumbled.

"I know," I agreed.

"Really, she didn't," he countered. "She was so vulnerable."

My husband's face was crumpled in pain as he stared at me. My eyes reflected his, hurt, distant.

"Vulnerable?" I repeated, unsure.

He nodded, but didn't speak. His chest rose again, only to deflate as a huge sigh left him.

"She didn't die under...normal circumstances," he whispered. I had to strain my ears to hear him. "And I should've known..."

"Should've know what, Carlisle? You're no psychic." He smiled into my neck, but it didn't last for long.

"She came into the hospital before," he started, again. "I wasn't her doctor, Dr. Mathews was, but still, I could see everything."

"See? Carlisle, what-

"She tried so hard to cover it up, Esme," he cut me off.

"Carlisle," I breathed, realising what probably happened.

He nodded once before completely collapsing into my embrace.

"Her injuries were..." I stopped, afraid to repeat what I knew.

"Internal bleeding," he answered, before carrying on. "Internal bleeding caused from "falling" down the stairs."

I knew I had frozen, what I didn't know is for how long until Carlisle cupped my face in his hands.

"Thrown down the stairs," I finalised.

"Yes..."

"Carlisle, I'm sorry." I stroked his cheek with the back of my hand, while looking into his venom filmed eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he whispered into my ear.

Silence blanketed us as I just held him in my arms. He had lost so much confidence in himself.

"What happened to the child?"

He lifted his head from my shoulder staring me straight in the eye. I started at him just as intensely as I tried to unlock the secrets his eyes held.

"Her father-

"No..." I squeaked.

"You didn't let me finish," he reprimanded. "Her father was arrested..."

"Good," I spat.

"And the child was taken into care," he finished.

"That's better than nothing," reminded the glum looking god. "At least she'll be looked after now."

He ran his hands through my hair, kissing me on the forehead.

"I can't explain how happy I am to have you," he choked, emotion thick in his voice. "If this happened without you, and no doubt, it has in the past, I don't think I would've been able to pick myself up again."

"You would," I retorted. He shot me a sceptical look. "You would because you love your work too much. It'll make you work harder."

He tickled my nose with his before pulling away.

"Esme?"

I hummed in response as he walked across our nearly barren room.

"Help me pack?" He threw a box at me, and from then on, I knew what would pursue. His eyes were still dim with the loss of a life, but it would soon get better once we arrived in Rochester.

**A/N – Sorry if it feels like I've taken forever to update but I'm revising for exams at the moment.**

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews so far, you've all been great and I can't thank you enough for sticking with me on this story.**

**If you liked this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**

**P.S. I made a video about Esme on Youtube and I think it fits quite well with this story, so if you have time, check it outat : **youtube(dot)com/watch?v=8D8H-IOGBdU&feature=related


	37. Dinner Party

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Dinner Party**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

"Come on Esme, we're going to be late!" I leant against our new house's stair banister, waiting for my magnificent wife to come down the stairs.

"I'm coming!" She called back down.

I sighed, crossing my arms across my chest.

"You know what it's like for a woman Carlisle," Edward laughed from beside me. "It's always their looks that they're worried about..." I shook my head as he carried on. "Esme's no exception."

"Edward's right!" Esme called.

"I'm sure he is," I mumbled sarcastically. "I'll be waiting in the foyer for you."

I went to walk away, but was tugged back by Edward's hand.

"That won't be necessary, Carlisle...look." I turned my head towards the top floor and there, I saw the most beautiful thing I could ever lay my eyes on.

Esme was stood by the top step, her Cobalt blue dress flowing down her body like an elegant waterfall. My unnecessary breath caught in my throat. Her hair was pinned back casually in curls, some escaping the sapphire jewelled butterfly slide she wore in her caramel coloured hair. She had a black muff over her hands, which was of course, unneeded, but still, it suited her.

"Esme," I breathed through forced breath.

"Carlisle," she replied.

I must've been gawking as Edward delivered a sharp nock to my side.

I immediately straightened up, offering my hand to the staggering woman in front of me. She smiled widely, her teeth glittering in the dim light as she elegantly made her way down the stairs.

"You look absolutely dazzling," I mumbled into her ear.

She laughed her famous laugh, making me break into an enormous grin.

"Thank you, though I must say you look rather dashing yourself." She tugged my bowtie lightly with her slender fingers.

"You don't know what you do to me," I whispered.

Her soft hands cupped my face as she placed a feather light kiss on my lips.

"The feeling's mutual."

I pulled her in tighter making her squeal from the sudden closeness.

"Come on then, you wouldn't want that beautiful dress going unnoticed."

She hit my arm while pretending to angrily pout. "Beautiful dress?"

"Or its splendorous owner," I added.

Her grin widened and I knew I was out of the firing line.

"Thank you." I grabbed her small hand, pulling it away from my face and twirling her around.

"You're welcome."

Edward's exasperated sigh broke our dream like trance and I let my eyes wander to meet his unimpressed face.

"You were saying about being late?" Sarcasm dripped from every word and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, let's go, come on!"

I wrapped my arm around Esme's waist, placing her coat around her shoulders, even though I knew she wouldn't need it. Edward walked past us, obviously annoyed.

"Talk about hypocrisy. Look who's making us late now."

I laughed under my breath which made him sulk harder. Esme smirked next to me and Edward half walked, half jogged to the car. We both followed in his footsteps and got in behind him so we were sat in the back.

"Let's just get this over and done with," Edward mumbled under his breath.

Esme shot him an unimpressed look.

"What?"

"Edward, I know you don't enjoy these "human" parties, but would you please behave for me – us – tonight?

His tight lips turned up into a crooked smile and I knew he was playing.

"After all, I couldn't miss Esme's reaction..." He mused. "It'll be a picture, I'm sure."

She huffed next to me, her face a scowl as she tried to ignore her son's comment.

"Thanks for the support, Edward."

"Anytime." I shook my head at my son's approach to Esme's first time at experiencing food.

"You know, you weren't so easy going when it was you Edward." He frowned again as I reminded him of his first encounter with human food. I pictured it all in my head, watching him nearly gag. He scowled at the memory which made me shake with laughter.

"That doesn't need to be repeated," he moaned.

The final turn was made and an audible gasp made its way from Esme's mouth.

"Carlisle, I don't think I can do this."

"Esme, you can do anything." I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand, letting the warmth of her skin capture me in a peaceful trance.

She sighed, looking out the window to the state house we were driving up to. The car slowed and Esme's hand squeezed mine tightly.

"Come on." I snaked a hand over her torso to open the door as the car came to a stop. She breathed in unevenly and I could see the venom that had pooled in her mouth, slide down her throat as she gulped it back. "Look, if this is too much for you..."

She brushed it away with a flick of her hand. "No, no. I'm completely capable, just..."

"Nervous," Edward finished.

Edward helped her out of the car and I followed after her. I put an arm around her waist, feeling her body lean against mine for support. She was so nervous for such a small occasion.

"It's the...eating," she forced out, "that I'm worried about."

We continued on to the doors, greeted by Dr. Howls, who I assumed, was the owner of the incredible house. Our whispers stayed silent to human ears as Esme continued to out her worries.

"You're capable of literally everything," I reminded her.

We were led up a grand staircase that knocked the breath out of the woman next to me. Her gasp was audible throughout the massive room as it echoed off of walls.

"The architecture is amazing," she mumbled to herself.

I nodded in agreement, Edward laughed behind us.

"Great minds think alike," he laughed.

I smiled slightly despite Esme's discomfort.

"Mr and Mrs. Cullen," a woman greeted us. She was about mid 40's, her hair wavy as it fell around her lining face.

"Thank you Mrs..." She smiled kindly at us, taking our coats before giving us her name.

"Mrs. Howls, but please, call me Claire. I've heard a lot about you Dr. Cullen."

I felt immediately at home and even Esme smiled slightly at the kind woman in front of us.

"Please, call me Carlisle, and my wife, Esme." Her smile broadened as did ours and we were soon talking to one another freely. We were led into a drawing room until we were called for dinner with the other guests who had unnoticeably piled around us.

"Edward?" I questioned quietly. He seemed to have disappeared; it was only when he weaved himself out of the crowds that I could see him properly.

I breathed a sigh of relief, sitting down at my designated seat, which was fortunately, beside Esme.

I could hear the mumbling of people as I sat down. I was being introduced to the community as the new doctor. It was quite nerve racking and Esme's nerves mixed with mine weren't helping the problem.

The sound of a glass being tapped with a fork was clear as it chimed sharply through the room. Everyone on the grand table ceased to talk and a silence invaded the fairly large room and Dr. Howls stood up.

"Tonight it is important for two reasons. First of all, there is a new perfectionist in our mists. He has just come down from Canada with his wife and her younger brother. He's a great man and an even better doctor. I'd like to introduce Dr. Cullen."

He beckoned me to stand up which I politely rejected. Instead, I waved a little, my chagrin stopping me from getting up in front of so many awaiting eyes. Everyone smiled at me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before going through the ritual of saying hello to fellow employees and the public.

"Secondly, I would like to say that we have a new sponsor for our hospital." Everyone gave a small cheer, some exhaling in relief. "I knew we were on the edge, but with the help of the Hale family, our hospital is back on the road. They've donated a lot of money towards our cause and for that I am truly grateful." Nods and murmurs of agreement circulated around the table.

The Hale's raised their glasses and their daughter, about 13 years old in appearance, tusked while rolling her eyes. She obviously wasn't very interested.

"You can say that again," Edward whispered.

I had to hold back a small laugh as the starter was being served.

"All she wants is the attention," Edward continued lowly. "She doesn't really care about the gratitude towards the help her family has to offer. She's quite nonchalant actually."

"What's her name?" Esme asked.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale," Edward responded. I nodded my head.

"She's a pretty girl," I countered.

"Indeed," Edward agreed. "Pretty but greedy, very unappreciative."

"Edward!" Esme scorned.

"It's true, her mind is shallow, very shallow, and it'll only get worse as she grows older." I shook my head at my son's belatedness.

"No need to be so..."

"Upfront?" Edward innocently continued.

Esme arched an eyebrow but a smile pulled up the edges of her mouth.

"Exactly that."

The starter was served and Esme's face set into a worried picture.

"Just...eat," I started, weakly.

She looked at me, her eyes sparking with uncertainty.

"How?"

"Watch."

I lifted a spoon full of soup, putting it into my mouth. It tasted like dirt would to a human, completely disgusting, but I smiled through it, wiping my mouth as I finished the bowl.

She looked at me, completely dazed as Edward snickered in between mouthfuls of soup. She didn't question me though, she just followed my lead. She let her mouth open reluctantly to let the soup in, and although I hated to agree with Edward, he was right. Her face was a picture, absolutely priceless.

She squished her nose up in disgust as she swallowed the liquid. Her eyes tightly shut. I had to suppress my volcano of laughter as she continued to eat the stuff. Edward chuckled silently in front of me as she struggled through the course.

"One down, two more to go," I encouraged sarcastically.

She shook her head. "Then what?"

"You cough it back up," I replied, honestly.

"Lovely."

Edward choked on his soup as the dishes were being collected. He couldn't stop choking as his laughter consumed him.

"Thanks for your support, Edward," Esme sighed, frustrated.

Edward laughed harder, running human speed outside of the room, and onto the balcony beyond the French door opposite us. The blonde beauty flipped her hair over her right shoulder, obviously bored. Her mother gave her an unimpressed look, but did nothing to show she was in the wrong. Edward was right. Talk about ignorant.

Two courses later, Esme was officially finished. She gave me a pained look and I had to sympathise with her. It wasn't exactly nice having to eat, what to us, was mouthfuls of dirt.

"Esme, stop, you'll make yourself sick..."

"Is that even possible for us?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I mean, if you want you can find out." She dropped the fork immediately, a frown on her face.

"Well, thank you."

Music picked up in the background and a small smile played around her lips.

"If there's one thing I would like to learn is how you dance. Come on." She grabbed my hand, pulling me up. I didn't refuse. Instead I was led onto the dance floor, where we continued our night in each other's arms, oblivious to the world around us.

**A/N – I'm so, so sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVER. I've had so many exams and ontop of them, I've had my Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award practice trip. **

**I'll try to be faster, promise!**

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews, faves, and story alerts so far guys! It means a lot to me.**

**If you liked this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	38. Growing Up

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Growing Up**

**Edward's P.O.V.**

**(1933)**

_Edward I need you to deliver this to the bank, please. _I looked up and over my music sheets that were piled on top of my piano, to Esme who was curled up on the sofa reading. There was an envelope placed on the coffee table next to her, tucked under another book she had just finished.

I sighed, stacking the loose papers together before reluctantly getting up and taking the thin piece of paper in my hand.

"Thank you, Edward." I smiled softly at Esme.

"Well, there's nothing else to do," I sighed.

She frowned slightly and shook her head, but let it slide.

"What were you doing over there?" I paused in opening the front door.

"The piano?" I questioned.

Her musical laughter followed. "What else were you doing?"

"I was...composing."

"Composing," she mused. "And may I ask how it went?"

"It went very well," I replied. I went to walk out the door, but she mentally called me back again.

_Edward?_

"Esme, it's a surprise." I looked back over my shoulder at Esme's face. "Just wait until Carlisle gets back. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm not a child," she scolded.

"I know." I let a cheeky grin spread across my face while taking my leave out the front door. "I'll see you in a minute!" I called.

"Goodbye and thank you Edward!"

The run was annoyingly short. We lived, what to me, so close to the town centre. It was ridiculous. Hunting took twice as long considering we had to move way out into the forests, not only that, but our human charade was amplified twice as much as well. Not once could we let our guard down, we lived far too close for any human suspicions.

"Rosalie, take this for me will you?" I looked to my right, passing through the local park. A girl of about 18 walked down her house steps, sighing while her mum ushered her out.

"I don't know why you need me to go!" She snapped while pinning the rest of her curls underneath her hat.

"Your father has forgotten his lunch, now don't argue with me." The young woman snatched the lunch bag out of her mother's hand. Her white organza flowed behind her.

_There really is no point. _She thought. _Father is _never_ that forgetful. _She passed me, glaring. I returned the gesture which made her more annoyed.

_Stupid boy, always thinks he's better than me._

Ah, the infamous Rosalie Hale. The girl who thought the world revolved around her and believed everyone's eyes were only for her. The shallow blonde bimbo we had grown to know as important in our society, was peeved off for only one reason when she saw me. I was _prettier, _more _beautiful _than her. I had to suppress my laugh as she stalked past me. She was as shallow as ever.

Of course, I had watched her grow up. Really. She was merely just 13 years old when we had arrived here. From her thoughts I knew she'd be difficult. She was always looking for peoples – especially the opposite sex's – approval. Her self obsession had begun at the innocent age of 10 as her mum and father began feeding useless words into her head.

"Morning," I said, politely.

"Morning," she replied, still glaring. My crooked smile made its appearance and she stalked past me.

"_Charming," _I muttered, sarcastically. Luckily, she didn't hear.

_I hope this goes as planned. _I examined Rosalie's mother as she stood on the door step watching her daughter go. _Jonathon is usually right..._ I shook my head.

Rosalie's father hadn't forgotten about his lunch at all, instead they were using their own child as bait.

I carried on walking down the road behind the blonde goddess in front of me. My curiosity was peeked and so I sped up a little, wandering who she was destined on seeing. I kept my pace relatively slow and carried on to the bank, to not only deliver Esme's money, but to see why – who even – Rosalie was about to see.

I turned right once more and was faced by Rochester Bank. Rosalie crossed the road the same time I did, her thoughts still thoroughly annoyed.

A poor, destitute family caught my eye. I shrank away, slightly uncomfortable. I had nothing to give them, I couldn't help them, and that's what hurt the most. The depression had hit everyone hard and except from the few lucky people like Rosalie and myself, others were thrown into despair.

"I need my father?" I walked up the steps slowly, faintly aware of Miss. Hale's voice floating out of the bank doors.

A chagrined feeling came over me as she caught my figure walking through the doors. _Stalker, much? _I mentally asked myself.

Her thoughts reflected mine which made me walk unintentionally faster. _What did he do, follow me?_

I finally got to the counter I was needed at.

"And what can I do for you?"

I looked at the young man behind the counter. He had very pale blonde hair, like Rosalie's, but lighter. His teeth were pearl white and his eyes were an ice blue.

"Sir?"

Oh yes. "Um, I just came here to..."

"I don't have all day, sir." I looked at his name tag.

_Royce King II._

"My sister wanted to put some money into her savings account." He gave me an incredulous look, as if he didn't believe me.

"Right you are." He took the envelope, walking away. My thoughts swirled in my mind.

Royce King II? I thought his Father owned the bank. Surely he couldn't be an employee.

"Jonathon Hale." Rosalie strut past me again.

"Yes?"

"Your daughter's here," the voice answered.

I watched from a distance as Rosalie handed her father her lunch.

"Thank you dear."

Rosalie snorted. "You're welcome, although I doubt you really forgot." Her eyes were scrutinising as she examined her father.

"Whatever do you mean?" He inquired.

"Oh, nothing," she replied.

"Sir, sir?" My thoughts were invaded by Royce's voice.

"Yes?"

"Here's your receipt. The money's gone in. I'll wish you a good day now." I took the small bit of paper from his fingers.

"Thank you."

I started to walk away before turning back.

"Excuse me sir, but I thought your father owned this bank..." He sighed.

"He does," he answered hotly. "Why do you ask?"

"I just thought..."

"What?"

"Why are you _his _employee?" He laughed before his mouth set into a straight line.

"Employee?" He asked astonished. "I'm his senior adviser."

"Oh," I answered. "Well, thank you for clearing that up."

He gave me a tight nod before addressing the person behind me.

"My father wanted to see if his pay cheque had arrived yet?"

I rolled my eyes as Rosalie's voice came from behind me. She sounded absolutely _thrilled _to be here.

_I could be talking with Vera by now. Not hanging around some bank._

"Yes, of course." Royce's voice replied coolly which made me mentally laugh once again. Not only did he have a short temper, but he had a script as well. His day was nearly as boring as my immortal life.

I started reading through the receipt. $200 had been put into Esme's saving account. What for I was still not completely aware too, but knowing her, it would probably be something to do with architecture and design.

"Miss?" Royce's sunned appearance startled me. I didn't even hear him coming. "Miss," he continued.

Rosalie was in her own world as she stared out the long bank windows.

"Miss Hale?" I added from the side. She snapped her head round to meet me, her face unimpressed.

"Yes?" She snapped.

"_Your _cheque." She snatched it out of his hand, giving him a faint "thank you" before walking out of the doors and into the Rochester streets.

"She's a feisty one."

"Indeed, she is," I agreed.

Royce stared after her, his eyes seemed to be reflecting Rosalie's face. Love at first sight. It made me shiver. The lovey-dovey sickness of it all. I grunted in disapproval before following suit and beginning my walk home.

Royce's thoughts, however, still circulated through my head. _Maybe, just maybe I'm in with a chance. Tell father I'm ill...go to the florist perhaps. I have to win her over one way or another._

My hands sunk into my trouser pockets as I walked casually down the road, passing the Hale's estate again.

"Did your father get his lunch?" Her mother queried.

"Yes mother, along with his pay cheque."

"Good."

The sun broke through the clouds for a millisecond, making me jump into the shadows. I bumped into a young lady who gave an unimpressed tut.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

She nodded but carried on walking, talking under her breath.

I stayed close to the building walls so the sun wouldn't catch me. As soon as I was in the clear I made allowed myself to break into a run. It felt so good to be able to run freely without anyone bothering me, well, that was until I got into the little grouping of houses that stood only 800 metres away from our own "secluded" house.

I unwillingly slowed down to a walk, and finally, after what seemed hours at walking human speed, I made it to our house.

"Did you get it through okay?" Esme popped out of the kitchen, which was odd, smiling at me with a mixing bowl in her arms

"I did."

"That's good," she responded lightly.

"Esme?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you have a mixing bowl in your arms?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you..."

"Tell me what?"

"We have new neighbours

"Great."

"They're planned to move in tomorrow."

"Fine." I went over to my piano and sat down, scribbling notes onto the paper before me.

"And Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Let me hear?" My eyes rolled on their own accord and a sigh left my chest.

"Esme, wait for Carlisle to come home."

She sighed and I chuckled lightly.

"Patience is a virtue," I reminded her before finishing off the score I knew would please her greatly.

**A/N – Another chapter done. I don't feel this went as well, but I hope you enjoy it, after all, you get to see Rosalie in a lot more detail in this chapter.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	39. Announcement

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the song or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers.)**

**Announcement**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

"Have you heard?" Esme walked towards be, running her hands through my hair as she got to my side. "Rosalie Hale is engaged." A small smile graced my lips.

"How could I miss it," I replied while placing the daily news paper down on the desk in front of me. "It's everywhere. The royal family of our town is to be married."

"Isn't it lovely?" Esme continued.

"Indeed." She drew her hand across my chest before plopping herself down on my lap, kissing my cheek.

"We've watched her grow up, Carlisle," she sighed nostalgically. I cringed into her hair as I placed another kiss on top of her head. It didn't go unnoticed. "What's wrong, Carlisle?" I stroked her hair, holding her tighter.

"Nothing," I lied. "I'm just thinking..."

"Thinking about what? I can see it's troubling you." Her scent flooded my senses as I inhaled.

"Esme, we have to move."

I watched her smile turn into a miniature frown. "Carlisle..."

"I know, you don't need to tell me. Edward's already reminded me of the fact that he hates moving all the time. I do too, but it's a necessity."

"What's spurred this sudden outburst?" I shook my head.

"My patients – and my colleagues – have begun to get suspicious about my age. I'm already trying to pass off as thirty."

"Please, not just now, Carlisle," she pleaded. "Give it a couple of more moths. Just so we can get prepared. Two months max?"

I looked at my paper work stacked neatly on in front of me, before looking back at Esme, a smile on my face. "Fine, but two months max. No more."

"Thank you!" She squealed, planting a kiss on my lips. "Love you!"

"Love you too."

Edward appeared by the door way to my office, he too had a smile on his face. "I knew you'd agree with Esme," he smirked.

"Well, she is my wife," I retorted automatically.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

I shook my head as Esme tutted.

"Well," she began. "I think it's sweet."

"You would," Edward responded sarcastically. "It's you."

Esme glared at him, but a smile was plastered across her face. "You know me too well."

"Of course I do," he replied matter-of-factly. "I know everything about you."

She buried her head in my chest, her ringlets splaying out around her head. "I know," she mumbled. "You don't need to remind me."

And I knew she was thinking of everything he knew about her. After all, he'd seen Charles through her eyes, her baby through her eyes, everything. But then again, he'd seen our love through her eyes and that made me swell with pride.

Edward crossed his arms over his chest. "Hopeless romantic."

"Does it bore you?" I inquired.

"No," he pondered, "It's rather quite sweet." He smiled once more before leaving out the back door.

Esme's head popped up from my chest and she locked her eyes with mine. "I'm worried about that boy," she confessed.

"How?" She sighed, pushing herself up.

"He's so alone," she replied, sadly. "Look at us, Carlisle. Edward sees us like this every millisecond of the day, even in our thoughts. He's in a house full of love yet he has no-one to call his mate. He's lonely." I brushed a ringlet behind her ear.

"Oh, baby. I never thought..." She smiled slightly.

"I know you didn't. I just wish he'd find someone, his eyes seem dim compared to what they used to be before."

"You worry too much," I breathed while placing a kiss on her hair.

"I don't," she defended. "He's my son; it's my right to be concerned. No parent is ever too concerned about their child." I laughed as she rested her head on my shoulder again.

"Okay, darling. I understand." She smiled into my chest as I stroked her caramel locks.

"I don't know why he's not interested in the Denali sisters... after all, Tanya did seem rather "interested" in him." I held her tighter.

"That could be debated," I started. "Edward doesn't see much...opportunity in her." She sighed, looking down while running her hands down to rest on my thighs.

"That boy can be rather stubborn," she finished. I chuckled at my wife's comments.

"Just like his mother," I responded, sarcastically.

"I'm not that stubborn," she retorted forcefully.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows. "Don't you remember the day you broke your leg?"

Esme's eyes shone with understanding. "My mother was annoyingly over protective that day, Dr. Cullen."

"Of course she was, you were her daughter. Your stubbornness didn't help the situation you were in."

"I wasn't being stubborn."

"Esme, you told her that you were fine, and then tried walking by yourself...back _out _of the hospital." She hid her face in the crook of my neck. "In the end I had to go and get you so I could set your leg."

"Okay, maybe I'm a little bit stubborn."

"A little bit? Esme, it wasn't even a small lift, it was a fireman's lift. You were hitched over my shoulder that your skirt and underskirts clouded my vision completely."

She groaned into my neck in embarrassment. "Thanks for the reminder," she moaned. "It's bad enough you remember." I stroked her back with soft hands. How I wished to see her blush again.

"You were as bright as a tomato, love."

"And you were as blinding as the sun." She clutched my shirt in fists as she breathed in deeply. "I at least remember that. One out of two of the happy human memories I keep locked away." I rested my head on hers.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, but Carlisle, do you realise how precious you are to me?" Another chaste kiss was placed on her hair as I replayed those words in my head.

"Not as precious as you are to me." She sighed, contented and Edward's head peeped round the door.

"Sorry to spoil this heart warming moment, but I need to give you this." Edward held a smallish envelope in his fingers. It was addressed to me.

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure, but it's sealed with the Hale's crest." I turned the envelope over, it was indeed sealed with their crest.

"Who gave it to you?"

"No-one, it was in the post box."

I opened it quickly, reading the invite surprisingly placed inside of it.

"It's an invitation."

Esme's hair swung over her back as she turned to look at the invite I held in my hands. "An invitation?"

"No way, Carlisle," Edward hissed. "She doesn't deserve our presence."

"Can someone please tell me what's going on here?" Esme huffed.

"We're invited to Rosalie Hale's engagement party."

Her lips turned up into a smile and she placed her hands on chest, before shooting a look at Edward. "We should go." He scoffed, his hands on his hips tapping his foot. "After all, we're leaving in two months. It would be nice to have some fun." Edward shook his head in amusement.

"Fine, but don't expect me to be coming along."

"Edward, you will come with us." He glared at me as he grimaced.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?" I smiled slightly and he growled again.

"Sorry son, but know. You're invited too."

"When is it?" Esme asked while taking the letter from my hands, scanning the writing placed on the white material.

"Tomorrow."

"Right then." She pushed herself off my lap and grabbed Edward's arm while throwing my coat over to me. "Let's get going."

"Please, Esme, not the shops," Edward pleaded.

"Sorry Edward, but this has to be done." She dragged him out the room. "Coming, Carlisle?" She called back.

"Esme, I need to finish off my reports. I'll go tomorrow morning."

"Fine," she agreed. "Just remember to pick out a decent suit.

"I do rather well," I replied defensively.

She gave me an incredulous look as she pecked me goodbye on the cheek. "I do," I repeated.

"Hmmm."

I laughed as she walked into the morning's brisk air.

"I promise."

A clear "I know" flew through the wind and then she was gone. Edward's incoherent mumblings following after Esme's sweet voice.

He was going to have a _swell _time.

**A/N – The next chapter will probably be Carlisle finding Rosalie.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry if it feels like I'm taking quite a long time to update but I have like 50 more exams and revision keeps getting in the way. *Sigh.***

**I'll try to be faster. Promise!**

**Anyways, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	40. A Broken Rose

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**A Broken Rose**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

The clock hands signalled the end of my night shift. It was finally 12:00am and I was done for the night. I placed my pen down on my mahogany desk, walking out and down the corridors to the doctor's room that held my belongings.

I peeled my scrubs off, my doctor's coat with it, before replacing it with a comfortable shirt and trousers. My bag was sat on my shelf, looking as lonely as I felt. With a deep sigh I picked it up, walking to reception to sign out.

"Goodnight, Thomas." My fellow colleague looked up from the piles of paperwork stacked up in front of him. He offered me a warm smile as I wrapped my scarf around my neck. Of course I didn't need it, but for the sake of humanity I was forced to wear it.

"Goodnight, Carlisle." I smiled and nodded before taking my leave from the hospital grounds.

The weather was unusually cold for mid April. The clouds were gathering together in the sky and temperatures plummeted even further. I wrapped my coat tighter around me, and although I knew I didn't need too, it was a conditioned reflex.

With my medical bag tightly in my hand I started to make my way home.

It was stupid of me really. Today of all days I had decided to walk, leaving the car at home. It was ridiculously cold for any other normal human, and then there was me, who didn't think that far ahead. It was cold enough that is was the see-your-own-breath-in-front-of-your-face weather, but me being the creature I am, meant there was no such reaction for me. My breath was just as cold as the temperatures plaguing Rochester.

Hardly anyone was out, and if anyone was, it was drunks, too consumed in alcohol fumes to realise what they were doing. Some stumbled past me, losing their footing as they tripped over the cobbles in the street.

I let myself walk casually past them, ignoring the slurred speech of the intoxicated men. Words flew carelessly through the wind until one name caught my attention.

"Rosalie Hale..." I froze, my foot half way off the kerb. "...Yep, definitely a handful..." I listened carefully to their "private" conversation. "...You'll have to learn some patience, Royce. After all, I doubt all women will be as feisty as her." An eruption of laughter went around the group and I forced my foot onto the road before me.

I breathed in deeply, various scents floating around me. A frown caused my eyebrows to pull together as a scent so poignant hung in the air around me. It wasn't the alcohol, or the fumes of distant car engines, but blood. Human blood.

I broke into a jog, following the scent until I came to a backstreet.

To a human eye, you would assume nothing was there, but of course, my eyes wouldn't fail me. The darkness didn't hide the horror that awaited me. Nothing could hide the disgusting scene in front of me. Not one thing.

My bag fell from my hands as shallow breathing and a slowing heart beat invaded my hearing. The person lay broken in front of me, clinging to life, but only just.

I ran my hands over my face. _Not another one. _I prayed.

I pushed myself against the wall, my fingers dinging into the stone bricks. I couldn't do it, I knew all I had was to just walk away, but seeing her there, just _lying _there made it more difficult than I could've ever imagined.

Rosalie Lillian Hale.

That was the name of the nearly dead girl lying at my feet.

Her face was bruising, her hair matted with blood. Her eyes were shut, but her eyelids fluttered. I could tell she knew there was someone else there; she just didn't have the strength to acknowledge me.

"Rosalie," I whispered. She moaned, wincing from pain as she tried to move her destroyed body.

"No...more," she breathed. "Please, no...more." I crouched down so I was beside her. I let my hand stroke over her blood splattered cheek. "Don't...hurt...me," she begged.

"I would never do such a thing," I promised as her hand found mine. "Never."

I took her hand, squeezing it gently.

Her injuries were beyond treatment, she would be dead, and soon. There was nothing I could do -nothing any other human could do. Unless...NO! I wouldn't, I couldn't. She had a family, friends. I couldn't condemn another to this life.

Her clothes were ripped in various places, her dress ripped up along her thighs. Brass buttons were everywhere and the coat they belonged to was strewn across the street. Her long blonde locks fell messily around her face as the snow fell gently down on her.

A flickering lamp caught my attention up the road as buttons trailed from there to here. They glistened as frost made a thin layer over the concrete ground.

"Let...me...go," she whispered while squeezing my hand.

"I can't!" I replied torn. "It's too much waste." Her eyes fluttered open and her violet orbs bored into my darkening ones.

"Please?"

I looked over both my shoulders, making sure no-one else was around. Her face was contorted in absolute agony as she dug her slender fingers into the ground below her. I couldn't just leave her, no. She was just only 18 years old, so young, so vibrant, offering so much opportunity. I couldn't just watch her slip away in a backstreet of Rochester. This young woman deserved so much better, and although my life was one I wouldn't choose for myself, it was the only thing I could offer her. She would live, she would thrive, but now, she would have to become something else in order to do so.

"I am so sorry this has happened to you," I whispered passionately into her ear while squeezing her limp hand again. "But I can't watch you die." Her eyes closed and her heartbeat became even slower. I was losing her, and fast. "You're going to live."

I knelt down beside her, looking around once again before picking her up so that she was lying limp in my arms.

"I'm sorry."

A small smile rested on her lips as I clamped my jaw over her jugular, spreading my venom like wild fire through her body.

She whimpered a small "no" before going stiff in my arms. I pulled back, her luscious blood threatening me to go over time.

_She would _not _die! _I swore to myself as I spat the blood out. "Not by my hands," I assured myself.

Her whimpers began to get louder as my venom began to dominate her immune system. I gathered her in my arms so I was holding her securely before taking flight in my fastest run possible.

I didn't care if I was giving away who I really was. By the speed I was running, no-one would even see me pass them by. I knew when I got home Edward would hate me. He would know before Esme, and yet, he would hate me. I had, after all, condemned another to this hell of a life. If he left I wouldn't – couldn't – blame him. It was me that had made this...choice, me who held the responsibility on my shoulders.

Rosalie's body became to writhe in my arms and I held her more tightly, making sure she knew there was someone with her.

Lights grew dimmer as I weaved myself out of the city towards my house. Edward came out, storming of course. His eyes were ablaze with unnamed fury and his lips were drawn back over his teeth as a snarl escaped his throat.

"Edward..."

"I _don't _want to hear it!" He growled.

Esme came floating outside after him. Her facial expression was taken aback as she viewed the scene in front of her.

"What happened?" She questioned, her voice full of maternal worry for the girl in my arms.

"I found a broken Rose."

**A/N – I really enjoyed writing this chapter for some reason. I think it's because you see Carlisle debating whether he's doing the right thing or not.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed it – which I hope you did – Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**

**P.S. Thanks for the reviews so far, they've really made my day! I appreciate the feedback too!**


	41. New Born

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**New Born**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

I placed a cold flannel over Rosalie's clammy forehead. Her hair was sticking to her continuously burning forehead and beads of sweat dripped down her pained features. The screaming had ended a couple of hours ago, and all that remained now was her laboured breathing and uneven heartbeat.

"What were you thinking, Carlisle? Rosalie Hale?" Edward's harsh, accusing voice floated downstairs from Carlisle's study, over the scribble of a ball point pen, as they continued to argue about Miss. Hale's change.

"I couldn't just let her die," Carlisle responded flatly in a whisper. "It was too much - too horrible, too much waste."

"I know," Edward sighed, reluctantly agreeing.

"It was too much waste. I couldn't leave her," Carlisle repeated in a whisper. I held Rosalie's hand tighter, my heart aching at Carlisle's unwavering compassion.

"Of course you couldn't," I agreed, in a barely audible tone.

"People die all the time," Edward reprimanded him in a harsh tone. "Don't you think she's just a little recognisable, though? The Kings will have to put up a huge search - not that anyone suspects the fiend." I heard a fist against Carlisle's mahogany table as Edward's growl penetrated the room.

"What are we going to do with her?"

Carlisle sighed. "That's up to her, of course. She may want to go her own way." I viewed the girl's features carefully. She grimaced in pain, her eyebrows pulled together and her mouth agape. Her lips were bone dry and all cuts she receive from her...ordeal...were now healed; all physical cuts that was.

A deep sigh escaped my chest as I picked her up gently, stripping her of her old, torn and ruined dress. The boys – of course – had left me with this task. They didn't want to invade her privacy anymore than what was necessary.

She groaned in protest at the unneeded movement, yet I continued to coo comforts into her ear, stroking her hair as I did.

"I'm almost done, dear. I promise, just a view more moments." Her breathing evened at my words which sent a soft smile over my lips. At least she knew there was someone there for her.

I lifted one of my dresses in one hand, draping it over her head – and then, making sure it wouldn't rip – over her slender body. Her hair was still matted with blood, and so – making sure I didn't disturb her too much – I went to the kitchen. I ran the tap, placing lukewarm water into a bowl while grabbing my shampoo.

The young woman's body writhed around on the sofa, making me cringe at the agony I knew she was going through.

"Back," I whispered. Her hand automatically shot out at the sound of my voice. I balanced the bowl of water in one hand while sliding behind her, knowing from my own experiences, that the coolness my body temperature would relieve the fever ever so slightly. "There."

I flicked open the lid to the shampoo, squirting just the right amount into my other hand. I carefully started to rub it into her scalp, my fingers working quickly but efficiently, making sure the blood was being removed completely.

When I was completely satisfied, I placed another towel in the water, washing the soap out of her hair.

"I'm so sorry this has happened to you," I whispered, passionately. "But please, believe me when I say this, Carlisle – my husband – was only trying to save you. This was the only way."

I heard a snort from the door way. Edward, my son, was stood leaning against it, one foot rested on the wooden frame along with his body.

"You know Esme, she wanted to die." I flinched at his words, understanding plaguing my mind.

"I know," I replied in a monotone.

"She begged you," he retorted.

"And she begged you," I snapped in a hiss.

His eyes went wide for a moment and I immediately regretted my quick tempered words.

"I'm sorry, Edward." He sighed, looking towards the stairs before looking back to me again.

"It was my fault," he replied, tiredly. "Sorry."

"Come here." I opened my arm out and he fell into my hold. I kissed his bronze hair, mumbling.

"Edward, I know she wanted to. I did too, remember?" He nodded into the crook of my neck. "I just have to make do with what I have in life now, yes?"

"Mmm," he agreed.

"You have to understand, though, Carlisle was only trying to do what was right." He stilled in my arms, his muscles stiff and I knew he was debating whether to answer or not.

"I have to be alone." I dropped my arm, replacing it over Rosalie's burning body again as Edward slinked over to the back door.

I nodded my agreement, watching as the darkness of the night washed over his pale frame.

"Esme?" Rosalie's voice blended in with Carlisle's rich tenor timbre.

"I'm here," I called to both of them.

A flash of yellow appeared at the door way, followed by a flash of brilliant white teeth.

"You're looking after her so well," he approved. I shook my head, moving over offering him a seat, but he politely refused.

"Carlisle," I started.

"Yes?" He pulled a chair over by my side, placing a hand on my back.

"Why won't you tell me?" He scanned my face, running his hand through his hair.

"Esme, please."

"Carlisle, look at me." I grabbed his hand in mine. "I'm your wife, we keep _nothing _from each other. Please, I can tell it's troubling you."

His eyes betrayed his face. They looked torn, wary.

"What happened to her?"

His breathing became irregular as he watched me intently. He didn't want to tell me.

"Carlisle, I've seen and experienced enough horrors of this world, you can tell me." I clasped his hand in mine. "Please?"

His eyes flickered around my face once more before he hung his head, looking at his lap.

"She-

He stalled.

"She?" His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped deeply.

"She was-

"Carlisle..."

"Esme, she was gang raped." The words were rushed and flustered yet I caught each one in perfect clarity. They hit home, hard.

"Oh." Carlisle's arm draped around my shoulders as he kissed my hair. "By who?" My anger was reaching boiling point. Not another one.

"Her fiancé." My gasp echoed off the walls in the sudden silence.

"I told you you wouldn't want to know."

I shook my head in defiance. "No, Carlisle. I needed to know." That was all that needed to be said. I understood his willing for refrain.

His eyes flickered over Rosalie's now still frame. "She's nearing the end," he breathed.

I focused on her heart, it was spluttering in various rhythms, trying so hard to fight the venom now attacking her body. It was exactly the same as me. I was destroyed, like her. Broken and played with and now, as she thought she had made it to hell, her whole self was being reborn.

"You're okay," I soothed. "You're okay." I continued stroking her hair, her heartbeat ever slowing.

"She's okay with you," Carlisle whispered into my ear. "I can see." I smiled, continuing to stroke her blonde curls.

"Thank you." He pulled me into his chest.

"Are you ready for this?"

I nodded against him. "I have to be."

Three more struggling beats sounded before the thumping diminished all together, Edward had appeared by my side as we each held our breaths, and then, through all the suspense, her blood red eyes shot open.

**A/N – I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I just felt as though Esme had a lot of love to give to her. Esme's kind of "fitted" well into this chapter; it's just in her character.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**

**P.S. Thanks for the faves, story alerts and Reviews so far! It means a lot to me!**


	42. Damned

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All****credit****goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Damned**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

My fingers automatically curled around Esme's hand as Rosalie's eyes shot open.

The spark in her ruby orbs was not yet anger or repulsion, but...confusion. Like Esme, all those years ago, it was confusion that now clouded her mind.

"Where am I?" Her voice sounded clearly and sharply. Esme's breath was still caught in her throat as she sat almost inhumanly still next to me.

"You're in my house," I responded, honestly.

She snorted, "Dr. Cullen." Rosalie chuckled to herself, looking around at Esme and Edward. "I remember you."

I watched her movements carefully. She was sat up straight, her arms spread out behind her on the sofa as she supported herself.

"Rosalie, do you know what you are?"

Her eyes flashed sheer panic before she composed herself again. It wasn't normal behaviour, however, that seemed the norm for newborn women vampires.

"I am Rosalie Lillian Hale," she replied, forcefully, but totally unaware. "Why do you ask?"

I sighed, looking at Esme. She nodded, minutely, but I caught it.

"Rosalie, do you remember the...burning?" The blonde goddess flinched slightly, whispering,

"And much, much more."

Edward's brow crinkled in what looked like disgust. He shook his head in my direction, muttering a silent "no," in my direction.

I understood why he didn't exactly want to say anything. Rosalie's last moments weren't exactly pretty.

I nodded back.

_Of course. _He grimaced at me before glaring at Rosalie.

"Rosalie, I need you to listen to me." Her eyes searched my face. "Please."

Her blonde curls fell over her face as she nodded slowly.

"Rosalie, that burning at the back of your throat, it's your thirst." She brought her hand up to her throat, rubbing it softly.

"Well, can I have a cup of water?" It was Edward's turn to snort this time.

"Water," he muttered. "Always water."

_It was you as well, young man._

His half hearted smile transformed into a thin line as he stared at me, and then at Rosalie again.

"Rosalie, I'm afraid I can't-

"Of course you can," she retorted harshly. "You have a kitchen don't you?" Esme sighed from beside me, running her hands over her face.

"Rosalie, water won't help because you're a vampire." Her laughter was almost hysterical.

"Yes, and you own the bank of England."

Edward handed her a hand mirror, which she took gladly. A hiss escaped her mouth as she spotted what I assumed were her eyes, yet she didn't throw it away.

"I look more beautiful than before," she mumbled to herself. "But those..." She swallowed hard before finishing. "...those eyes."

"Rosalie."

"NO!" She screeched. "What have you _done _to _me?"_ She shot in front of me so fast, that her balance nearly failed her. "What have _I _become?"

"I told you," I replied calmly. "You're a vampire." Her fists shook with rage as she stared at me murderously.

"You're lying!" She screamed.

"No, I am not, Miss. Hale. You are immortal, you drink blood, and you are inhumanly strong and beautiful." She shook her head in defiance.

"No, please, no." Her whole body began trembling, and I knew how hurt she felt.

"Rosalie."

"No!" She shrank back into Esme, who had moved to stand behind her just in case she decided to o into an attack. After all, newborns aren't exactly reliable. My body was tensed as the hour old newborn stood dangerously close to my wife.

"Miss. Hale, calm down." Esme's arms reflexively closed around Rosalie's body. She fought her at first, of course, but after a while, as Esme was cooing comforts into her ear, she calmed down again.

"Rosalie..."

"I _don't _want to hear it," she snapped. "I'm damned," she whispered, carrying on. "Immortally damned."

Esme sighed, her head hung.

"Come on, Rosalie," Esme whispered. "Come with me."

I watched in awe as Esme rasped Rosalie's hand in hers, completely unfazed that she was stood just millimetres away from a newborn.

"Where are we going?" Esme's lips pulled up into a kind, soft smile.

"We're getting that burning sorted out. Hunting is the only way."

The blonde woman just nodded as Esme looked from me to Edward. We both nodded our permission. I knew, from Esme's own experiences, how scared she would feel hunting with two men. She had no trust in them what so ever, that went the night her Fiancé and "friends" raped her.

In a blink she was gone out the door with Rosalie by her side. Edward growled under his breath.

"Carlisle, why?"

My eyes found his. With no big surprise, they were burning with fury.

"I don't understand, Edward. I thought we had been through this."

"Not _this, _Carlisle!" He hissed. His tendons were sticking out through his skin as he gripped the table. "I mean the reason you chose her for _me_!"His voice held disbelief and disgust mixed in together as one.

"I didn't _choose_ her for anyone, Edward."

"Then why, why do you think she'll become my _mate_?" My breath caught in my throat as I tried to answer as calmly as I could.

"That isn't the reason I chose to change her, Son."

A sly smile was placed on his face. "Of course, Carlisle."

I exhaled deeply.

"Maybe, after her transformation, I believed she would become something more to you. But I can see from both you _and _her, you don't feel that way about each other."

His face was sceptical. "But you still do, don't you."

I ran my hands through my hair again, looking out the window before back at Edward. "I hate to see you lonely."

His crooked smile replaced his scowl. "I know you do. But I'm alright. I have my music, and I have you two."

I went to ask him something, but he was already one step ahead of me.

"I'll stay close to them, but I can't show myself, I know. I'll be there, just in case."

"Thank you, Edward."

He inched closer to the door, his hand resting on the door handle.

"Don't worry, Carlisle. Really, don't. I'm fine, really." He rolled his eyes as an accidental, but concerned thought flew through the air.

"Really," he pressed. Before I had another chance, he was out the door and into the clouded night.

**A/N – It's nearly 12am over here, so sorry if this chapter isn't that good. I wanted to show Rosalie's building trust with Esme. I also wanted to show Carlisle's concern for Edward.**

**Thanks for the reviews so far, they're all really appreciated, especially the amazing review from ****blandspice808****, so if you're reading this chapter, THANK YOU! **

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	43. Similarities

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All****credit****goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Similarities**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Rosalie had been with us for exactly one month today. She, though, didn't get any easier as the days went by.

Her temper continued to flare at the most tiniest of things and her resentment towards my husband had me on the edge constantly. Not only that, but the fact we had given her an option of whether she wanted to leave or stay, and yet she chose to here.

Her attitude was always defensive and rude, although she seemed a little looser with me, which I believed was because I was a woman. She still, however was given a free reign, even if we – Carlisle, Edward and I – didn't agree with it.

Her anger had bought out the worst in her, including her vulnerability, but still, the anger she held inside was far more prominent.

In the four weeks she had been with us, she had already planned and killed each man that had assaulted her that dreadful April evening. Of course I was initially against the idea, but that part in the back of my mind was sadistically happy.

I had the same thoughts after the first few years of this life. When I began to mature, the thoughts of revenge on my so called human "husband" would haunt me daily. The feeling of the absolute pleasure and control would dominate my mind, but of course, it was Carlisle who told me different. I was not a monster, a vampire, yes, but not a monster. I would not let Carlisle down because I would not sink to that man's level in society. I was worth a thousand times more than him, and that thought somehow kept me sane.

"Did you hate him, Esme?" Rosalie's voice cut through my thoughts suddenly, making me jump. The washing in my hands was halfway folded as I tried to make sense in what she was saying. A sigh escaped my chest as I kept my back to her and my stare out the window.

"Rosalie, if you are referring to my husband, and I have no doubt that you are, no, I don't."

She snorted, obviously expecting my answer. I sighed again, turning around from the view outside the window to look her in the eye.

"Not now anyway," I cut in.

Her eyes went wide and I could see the spark of surprise that she tried to hide.

"You?"

I nodded once and her mouth fell open. "Rosalie, I was mad because I was cheated of a rightful death."

She scoffed again, smirking slightly.

"Death, Esme, please."

I closed my eyes, letting the guilt wash over me before opening them again.

"Yes, Rosalie, death."

"Esme," she began, startled. "Surely someone like you couldn't have wanted death, I mean, look at you!"

I laughed. It was bitter and harsh, but I had to get through to her somehow.

"But of course, Rosalie. I just threw myself off a cliff for the fun of it." That got the reaction I wanted.

I let my eyes wander over her face. Her eyes were wide, her mouth agape.

"You...you _threw _yourself off a cliff? B-but why?"

I smiled but hung my head.

"Rosalie, however bitter you may be, you should understand now that our lives our far more similar than you think."

She breathed out slowly, and so did I.

"For example," I added. "Do you know what led to this?" I gestured to my immortal body as she shook her head. "A man Rosalie, one man."

She gasped and I nodded.

"You..."

"Yes, I was," I answered truthfully. "But there is far more to it than that."

I looked towards the seats placed by the window. Rosalie, taking my hint sat down in one and I, in the other. Her eyes searched my face but it was wiped of emotion. It was easier to get through this without feeling.

"I was married at 22, Rosalie." There was no point in beginning completely from the start. "Yet another had already taken my heart."

"Who was that?" She wasn't exactly subtle.

"Carlisle," I replied a little too dreamily, but I carried on, sure of the question that would follow. "I had broken my leg when I was sixteen, while living in Columbus, Ohio," I laughed. "Carlisle, coincidentally, was the one who had set it for me." She gawped, her eyes twinkling. "Of course, for someone as handsome as himself, my teenage mind had never truly gotten over him."

"So..."

"So I had, foolishly if I may add, fallen in love with someone way beyond my league." A nostalgic smile crept slowly across my face.

"Then who did you marry?" That question was enough to wipe the smile off completely. My hands clenched into fists and my jaw locked.

"I was pressured," I started again. "By my parents to marry a man named," I breathed in deeply, forcing his name out, "Charles Evenson." I closed my eyes again, trying to conceal the flash of hatred that shone within them.

"He was a great actor, Rosalie, always the gentleman, always so polite. My parents didn't think once about picking him out for marriage. I wasn't informed until the last possible moment, and by then arrangements had already been made."

Rosalie sighed, looking down to her hands, then out of the window before looking back up to meet my gaze.

"It was the same with me, I suppose," she whispered barely audibly. "I didn't even know him, properly, I mean." I nodded, my heart breaking for the girl.

"You see, Rosalie, I couldn't not through with it. I lived to make my parents happy. After all, I was extremely old to be married. It was the thought of shaming my parents that got me through the whole ordeal. Especially the wedding day." Heavy clouds began to gather in the sky and the first raindrops of many began to fall.

"It wasn't, however, after I was married that I saw him for who he was." My voice was low and bitter; my hand which I had rested on the windowsill in front of me was starting to claw at the paint. "And if that was a shock, the clearest memory I have is the first time he struck me."

Rosalie gasped, placing a hand, surprisingly, on top of mine, stopping my fingers from breaking the wood.

"He didn't," she spat, venomously.

I nodded curtly. "And what makes me even more ashamed with myself, is that I knew no different!" My voice sounded slightly hysterical. "Much like yourself, Rosalie."

I watched the raindrops for a view minutes, allowing myself to collect my thoughts. Each droplet reflected our reflections. Each raindrop reflecting memories I had locked purposely away.

"Because, Rosalie, like I've said before, we are very much alike. Not only did he verbally abuse me, but he physically did as well. Physically meaning not only punches and slaps but..." I literally choked the word. "...Raping."

Rosalie's hand clenched down on mine and her voice was uncharacteristically high as she replied. "That didn't kill you though, did it? I mean, when he forced himself on you, he didn't go as far as actually killing you."

"Well, in terms, he did," I retorted quickly, my own words confusing me momentarily. "I suffered much like you, far more than once. You see, not only was it him that used my body for his pleasure, his friends also used me for their...needs...as well."

Rosalie made a sound of disgust, her brow furrowing as she frowned. Her eyes were burning with what was, undoubtedly hatred.

"I was herded every night Charles had his friends round. By the morning, I could hardly walk, and through all of this, I survived, but Charles' departure for war was the beginning of my downfall."

Rosalie's hand came up to brush my cheek, which made me jerk back slightly, but smile faintly, nonetheless.

"You don't need to tell me anymore," she whispered.

I shook my head. "I do. To make you understand, I do."

"He went to war, yes, but my happiness, like usual, was short lived. A snippet of what life should be passed quickly, and before I knew it, he was back." My voice was shaky, but I ignored it, clearing my throat before starting again.

"The usual nightmare continued, and then, somehow, through all the turmoil, I fell pregnant. Not out of love, if I may add, but force." I glanced fleetingly at the girl beside me, but carried on again, keeping my eyes traced on the trails the rain drops made on the window.

"So, being me, I ran. I ran for my baby's sake and mine. I wouldn't – couldn't – take the abuse any more. I took everything I was allowed to own, which was little, understandably, and ran. To where, I was still uncertain, but as soon as I was on the train, I knew where I was going; Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My cousin, second removed lived there, and so I knew I would be safe."

Blonde curls fell over Rosalie's face as she hung her head. "But I'm guessing something worse happened?" I grimaced, but kept my lips in a tight, thin line.

"Yes," I answered painfully. Unfortunately, my cousin wrote to my mother, unintentionally telling her I was living there. She didn't know, nor did she need to know about my messed up life. My husband suffered complications with a war wound, got septicaemia and died. My story was liable enough, and with my wedding ring still dutifully on my finger, no-one dared questioned a grieving war widow."

"I never thought you were capable of lying," Rosalie joked, trying to diffuse the tension. I laughed, but it was hollow.

"Neither did I, but however poor the lie may have seemed, it worked, and so I carried onto Ashland, Oregon. It was hard, but I became a teacher, created a comfortable living, and above all, Rosalie, I was _happy_!"

"Then, why did you..."

I ran a hand through my curls, my chest tightening painfully.

"I was just gone eight months pregnant when my baby arrived. Of course, that doesn't seem so terrible, but the hospital was small and equipment was poor. My son, although he fought hard, contracted a lung infection. His immune system wasn't mature enough, or strong enough to fight it off, and so, at just three days old, Rosalie, my baby died in my arms."

Rosalie let out a small sob and I grasped her hand in mine, continuing in a monotone.

"I was a mother for only _three days, _but those three days were the best moments of my life. When he died, I was devastated. I had no-one, not one person that cared. I was alone, and no-one needed me, so I thought, _what was the point? _There was nothing tying me down anymore, so I ended the grief, Rosalie, and threw myself off the cliff overlooking Lake Superior."

She screwed her eyes shut, but pain flitted across her features, likely mirroring me.

"And so Rosalie, this is where that _man _fits in," I finished, quietly. "Because without that _man, _I wouldn't have suffered the abuse, I wouldn't have been humiliated, I wouldn't have run because of pregnancy, and finally, I wouldn't have jumped off that cliff." I fumbled with the material of my dress as exhaled deeply. "But above all, I would've never found Carlisle again, and that, in a twisted sort of way, is the only good thing that came out of this mess."

"But you said..."

"I hated him, I know. But Rosalie, you must understand that like you, I wanted to die. He robbed me of a death I wanted, robbed me of seeing my baby boy again, and robbed me of a rightful end to a disastrous life."

"I...I understand, now." I smiled at her, finally she understood.

"I don't hate him, I love him. I love him because he showed me true love. He healed me, Rosalie, and that wasn't easy, I can assure you now, but he did it. He didn't turn me away, he accepted me, and I will always be in debt for him giving me a second chance."

She turned her head away and I got up, going over to stand in the door way.

"I'm not saying you have to like him now, just remember, for me at least, that he found us in similar situations, his goal the same, to give us a second chance."

I closed the door quietly, and stood to face Carlisle who held his arms open. I went over to him, falling into his embrace as he whispered a quiet, "Thank you."

**A/N – Sorry for taking so long to update! I have 4 stories going on at the same time, but I'll try to be quicker!**

**I thought Rosalie would need a shock to make her see things in a different light. Esme seemed like the person to do so. She has, after all, an eerily same story as Rosalie, with both men creating their downfall.**

**If you enjoyed this chapter, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995. :)**

**P.S. Thanks for all the faves, subs and reviews so far! It means a lot to me! **


	44. Desperate Plea

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All****credit****goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**Desperate Plea**

**Carlisle's P.O.V. (1935)**

The weekend was always a tough thing to get through. Although Rosalie had become much more...approachable, she was still cold and distant when she wanted to be. I, unsurprisingly, was still on her "people to ignore" list.

"Esme?" My wide was curled up on the arm chair next to the window sill. The sun made a rare appearance and diamonds reflected off the walls. Her head was down, and she was obviously immersed in a fictional world.

A smile slowly spread across my face as I leant against the wall, taking her in.

Her curls were spilled over her shoulders and over half her face, the sun catching it and making it glisten like silk.

"Esme?" Her head popped up, almost in surprise.

"You frightened me, Carlisle." I chuckled softly, walking over to her and wrapping her in my arms.

"You stunned me," I murmured into her ear while tucking the lose strands behind it. She smiled, turning around and placing her hands on my chest.

"You're too kind," She responded.

"Even after all these years?" Mt attempts of tucking her hair behind her ear was in vain; she nodded again and the spilled forwards again.

"And you know what today is," I continued.

"Hmmm," she pondered. "You'll have to remind me," she joked, while trying to hide her beautiful smile.

"I don't know," I answered in the same joking manner.

"You don't?" She replied, circling me.

"Well, unless I'm wrong, I do believe it's our Wedding Anniversary." Her smile increased and she balled her hands into fists. "Which means, I have something very important to give you." The spark in her eyes that was rare in the last week had reignited.

"Then that must mean I do too." She seemed to skip around me before pulling out a box from underneath our bed.

"I didn't know what to get you." She paused as if almost embarrassed by her confession. "I mean you seem to have everything already." Esme stopped suddenly, literally shoving the box into my awaiting hands.

"I-I just hope you like it."

I untied the ribbon that held the lid and box together. It floated delicately to the floor, landing at my wife's feet.

She stood before me, her stunning golden eyes full of anticipation as I lifted the lid.

A gasp sounded throughout the room. I was too emotional to register that it was in fact me, who had gasped.

"You...you did this?" A lump was forming in my throat and she nodded, beaming.

I stumbled back and onto the bed, placing the small wooden box next to me while delicately taking the first object out.

It was a portrait of me and her on our wedding day. Esme was in my arms, smiling up to me. My face reflected hers as I held her in my arms. The bouquet of flowers was halfway in and out of the shot as she flung them behind her.

The next object was a thin piece of paper. It was folded with my name on.

"I wrote it on our first anniversary together." Esme's voice shattered the silence that fell. "I was too embarrassed to show you. How desperate it seemed."

My eyes flew over her curved script.

"Esme, you weren't desperate." She chuckled, but it seemed nervous. "I was."

Her arms linked around me from behind and she placed her head on my shoulder, kissing my cheek.

"Do you like it?" She seemed so vulnerable in the way she said it.

"I couldn't have asked for anything better, not even when I have the world's riches in my grasp."

I pulled her onto my lap, nuzzling her nose with mine.

"I just hope mine can live up to yours."

"It will, I'm sure."

She took her place on the bed next to me as I stood and went to the chest of drawers that held my clothes.

"I, like you, was too nervous to give it to you first time round. I know, it's stupid what we do and don't do when we're in love."

The item was placed neatly on top of my folded shirts. It was just as I remembered it from the hospital so many years ago.

"It seemed unfitting to give it to you so shortly after what happened."

I turned slowly round to face her.

"But I know it would be important to you."

It only took me three strides to get back to where she was sat. Her hands were trembling, I could tell, even though she tried in vain to stop it.

"So finally, after 14 years, here you go."

My hands mimicked hers as I shakily handed the wafer thin parchment to her.

Her eyes seemed ablaze as she took in what was placed before her.

"Carlisle," she gasped; her voice seemed to be on the verge of a sob.

"You like it?"

"I can't believe it, how?"

"Edward went back to the hospital for me. He got Harry's baby blanket and his birth certificate, as well as his hand and foot prints."

She threw her arms around me, constricting me as she cried; I'm sure in happiness, into my shoulder.

"Carlisle, I can't believe it. I just, thank you."

Her words were disjointed and spluttered, but I knew she meant every single thing that came from her mouth.

"Es-

"Carlisle?" My response was cut shot with Rosalie's panicked scream. The stench of human blood invaded every nook and cranny of the house.

Esme's hand reflexively tightened around mine.

"Go, Carlisle, go!" Esme's voice was shrill as she ushered me out of the bedroom and towards the living room downstairs.

My eyes weren't prepared for what I saw.

"Rosalie-

"Carlisle, please, you have to help me help him, please!" Edward was stood over the man. His eyes were closing slowly, his breathing slow. His heart was beating in odd rhythms.

"We're going to lose him."

Rosalie grabbed the front of my shirt.

"Please, I need you!"

That was the first time I had ever seen Rosalie pleading.

"Rosalie, what are you exactly-

"Change him," she whispered.

"Rosalie, even you should know what life I would condemn him too. You hate it. Why..." I took a deep breath. "...why do you want me to do this?"

"Because I know he can't die. He's too young, Carlisle. He can't die."

I didn't know how or why she had brought him back, but at this moment, all I knew was that she sounded completely like me when I had found her all those years ago.

"Do you?"

Her frightened, dark eyes went wide and she shook her head wildly.

"No, you do it, you_ must_ do it."

I looked to Esme for guidance. She nodded, her face set in worry. I looked to Edward next.

"What do you think, son." He grimaced but nodded.

"It's what she wants. He hasn't got much time left."

The man's heartbeat seemed unbearably loud as it forced itself to continue beating.

"Rosalie-

"Do it now! Please!"

I didn't need to think twice. My mouth was already at his throat.

"I'm sorry." The flesh was soft, his blood luscious.

_Pull away, Carlisle, pull away._

His body was already thrashing as I went onto bite his wrists and eventually his ankles. My venom was invading his system and soon, very soon, he would be like us.

"Rosalie, are you okay?"

She looked at me, shaken, but replied.

"If you think I did this then you are wrong. The bear he was hunting attacked him. I couldn't just watch him die."

I nodded curtly.

_At least you know what it feels like now._

Edward shook his head before leaving the room.

"Do you need to leave?

"No, I want to be here. I can cope."

Esme looked for my answer and I shook my head.

Without another word, I squeezed my daughter's shoulder, taking Esme's hand and left the room to which another innocent human would soon become one of us.

**A/N – It's been quite a long time since I last updated, but homework's bringing me down. I have so much of it, I can't keep up; it's like the teachers want me to drown in paper work.**

**Anyways, here's Emmett. **

**I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. If so, Please Review! **

**Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	45. Emmett

**A/N – (I don't own Twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers).**

**Emmett**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Rosalie was sat next to me, curled up in the chair in front of the fireplace, a book in her hands. When we were alone it was peaceful, almost...normal. For I both knew that we both sought peace in this life. Rosalie was still trying to accept this life and forgive Carlisle. I was still trying to let go of habits that my body automatically did without me realising. For example, when Emmett was only three days old and kept knocking things over. It made me flinch. It annoyed me greatly, but it was muscle memory and I couldn't control it!

Emmett was now two months into this life, and although he had adapted well to this way of life, didn't manage to move exactly gracefully. I mean when he moved, he was more like a bison than a cheetah like Edward. More than once, he'd managed to knock something over either breaking it or nearly breaking it.

"Oh my god, Edward, that was meant to be a catch!" And Emmett was back, his voice booming through the fringe of the trees.

"You know, Emmett," Edward replied in a mocking tone. "If you didn't throw as hard as you did, maybe people – sorry – vampires, would be able to catch it!"

"Hilarious, Edward," Emmett carried on. "I can tell my charm is rubbing on you."

Edward was first to stumble through the door, his face weary of Emmett's sarcasm, Rosalie, however, smirked behind her hand at Edward's discomfort.

"Thank you, too, Rosalie. You're thoughts are just so cheerful." Rolling his eyes, Edward went up to his room, closing the door somewhere between a slam and moderately, before playing his piano.

"So, Emmett," I began, feathering through the pages of my book. "How did your hunting trip go?"

Flashing me a huge smile he replied cheerfully. "Well, apart from that pessimistic know it all, it went fantastically. It's about time I got my own back on bears."

I shook my head in amusement as Rosalie chipped in from behind me. "Unfair advantage, much? Bear vs. Vampire, let me think, who's going to win?"

"Aren't you just a happy little cherub?" Rosalie scowled at him as he walked past, stealing her smirk.

"Edward's hard to find optimism in," I agreed despite Edward's angered huffed. "See?"

Emmett's eyes twinkled again as he chuckled.

"So," he carried on as he threw himself onto the sofa opposite us, the springs breaking and creaking as he did. "Where's the doc?"

"Carlisle," I reprimanded softly, "is at work."

"Still?" He gawped.

"He is on a late shift, Emmett," Rosalie replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Then again, what else did Rosalie's voice hold for except from sarcasm?

A snort drifted down from Edward's room making me smile inwardly. Rosalie's may still be bitter, but even though I knew she denied it, Emmett had made her the happiest I had ever seen her.

"Well then," I sighed, placing my nearly demolished copy of Sense and Sensibility onto the coffee table beside me. "I think I'll go upstairs if that's okay with you."

"That's fine." Emmett stretched his arms out above his head, and if you thought he was tall before, he looked even taller now.

Flicking my gaze to Rosalie, her reaction, quite obviously, was the complete different.

_Why so difficult?_

Smiling at her and ignoring her discomfort, I let myself drift from the room and dreamily upstairs into the room I shared with Carlisle. I knew that Emmett would never hurt her, ever. And although she was still scared around men – well, groups of men – she'd have to face her fears sometime, much like me.

After all, when Emmett first woke in his new life, his overwhelming size and personality was something that set me on edge. It took me a while, I'll admit, to trust him completely. Now I couldn't imagine life without him. He was our cuddly bear and I would trust him with my life.

Trying to occupy myself when Carlisle was gone was just so difficult. Being in a room where his scent lingered on everything didn't help me one bit. Sighing in defeat, I walked over to his wardrobe, pulling out one of his shirts, replacing mine with his. Drawing in a long breath, I let his scent overtake me before letting myself wander absentmindedly to our bed before lying down and closing my eyes.

The amount of times I wished I could just drift to sleep with Carlisle by my side was uncountable. However, no matter how hard I wished, I knew that in reality, it wasn't possible.

"You never fail to amuse me." I jumped at the sudden voice I knew so well.

"Carlisle!" A smile grew widely on my face and he laid down next to me on the bed, placing a kiss on my cheek. "How did you get in? I didn't hear the door go."

I turned my head to meet his gaze as she twirled my hair around in his fingers. "I may have...climbed through the window."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth I was gone in uncontrollable fits of laughter. "Through...the...window!" I repeated through my laughter. "Why?"

"There's a first time for everything," he replied as if it was a normal occurrence.

Trying in vain to stop laughing, he caught my lips with his as he ran his hands through my hair. I followed his example before we both pulled away and he pulled me closer into him.

"Distractions, distractions," Carlisle whispered into my ear. "I haven't been able to get you off my mind all day, and by the looks of it, I'm glad I have that same effect on you."

I shoved him playfully on the chest and he chuckled lightly. That chuckle, however, was like a piece of heaven.

We laid in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Carlisle's soft voice broke through our blissful world.

"How's everyone?"

Smiling at his question I replied honestly. "The usual."

"You mean Emmett's been annoying Edward again?"

"Hey!" Emmett shouted up the stairs. "I'm not that bad!"

Edward's voice retorted from his room, "You keep telling yourself that, Emmett."

Emmett huffed and Carlisle chuckled into my hair. "They went hunting," I told Carlisle while draping my arm over his muscular chest, "played some ball for a while before they came back."

"Mmm?" Carlisle replied cocking his eyebrow. "And I guess Emmett managed to deforest every tree?"

"I'm not that clumsy either, Carlisle!" Emmett called up the stairs again.

"You don't need to be so dramatic, Emmett," Rosalie retorted.

"Says the drama queen," He replied automatically, earning him a smack on the head.

"What was that for?" He complained.

"For being annoying," Rosalie sighed as she walked to the other side of the room, snapping what sounded like, a book shut.

"Chaotic?" Carlisle whispered into my ear.

"Quite peaceful, actually."

And it was. Because if it was one thing that both me and Rosalie had the joy of having while the boys were away, was having the house for ourselves. For snippets of time we could pretend that things were normal, like we were human again, and when we were alone, Rosalie would open up to me. It was a bonding opportunity.

"Anyway, mister," I began, prodding him in the chest. "I thought your shift ended at six?"

"Things were slow, quiet." He kissed my forehead and I smiled in response. "They let me go. After all, there were more doctors than patients today."

"You know, Carlisle." I paused, pondering my next words as a cheeky spark ignited in my ochre eyes. "You look rather thirsty."

"I do?" His tone was sarcastically questioning and I smirked as I traced lazy circles on his chest. Grabbing my hand, he kissed each knuckle in turn. "Well then," he murmured. "I think that calls for a hunting trip don't you?"

I was happily buzzing inside my head that he had in fact got my hint, made me slightly dizzy. "Edward's coming as well though," I softly reminded.

"Esme!" Edward protested in despair. "I've just come back!"

_Edward, listen to me. Rosalie holds something special for Emmett. _

Edward scoffed and the soft piano stopped mid tune.

_I can see it in her eyes, like you could with me and Carlisle. Whenever they're in the same room together her eyes light up and she's happy._

"Fine," he sighed, his piano stool scraping across the floor as he got up. "But I'm having a head start if you two are coming with me."

Sudden chagrin washed over me and Edward's laugh cut through the awkwardness.

"Thoughts, Esme," he reminded gently, "aren't always safe."

"Get in there, Es!" Emmett called up the stairs as I buried my face into Carlisle's shaking chest. "Never too old!"

Another smack resounded through the house and Carlisle shook harder.

"That was for?"

"Diving into personal matters."

Pushing myself up, Carlisle placed a hand on my back, brushing my cheek with his thumb.

"What have we let ourselves in for?" He asked, our eyes connecting.

"In all the time I've known you Carlisle, you don't have the answer?"

Cupping my face he kissed my nose. "A family is completely new to me."

**A/N – I know, it's been absolutely weeks since I've last updated. I've had a major writer's block for this chapter and was unsure on how to right Emmett. I just really hope I did him justice.**

**Anyways, sorry for the delay, but please review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


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